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Habitually Almost Quitting

Posted by Brian in Montana , 16 January 2017 · 349 views

Lots of smokers could probably be described as habitual almost quitters. I could say that about myself when it comes to writing. I don't have the same frustrations a lot of people do. I'm not trying to make a living at this (haven't quit my day job yet, although some day I hope to), so I don't worry too much about rejections and the sort. What makes me "almost" quit on a habitual basis are the people closest to me. I enjoy 3-day weekends, so generally my habit is to get up early - Friday through Sunday, go into the big walk-in closet with my laptop, and start working on whatever it is I've been writting, an article or a story or whatever. I find that what often happens is, I'm really starting to hit my stride when my three kids start crawling out of their beds. They're good, polite, intelligent little farts, but the first thing they want to do is come into the closet and sit and talk to me while I'm writing. I have a one-track mind and need to have quiet when I'm writing. So, I sit there and hope that my wife will get up and get them some breakfast started or something - that never happens. Then another kid comes in, then another, then its very crowded in the walk-in closet and they all start talking to each other as well as me. At that point it, I'm starting to snap at my kids, who really haven't done anything wrong, they're just being kids. Then it becomes clear my wife isn't getting up any time soon, so I shut down what I'm working on and go make them breakfast.

And I'm mad, and frustrated, and feel guilty for barking at my kids, and then I just want to throw up my hands and quit writing. I need to get up at 0400 in order to actually get anything significant done, and like most other red-blooded Americans, I'm generally too tired for that. I usually get up before 6:00, but that hardly cuts it a lot of weekends.

I'm not going to quite. This is part of who I am and I've had a little success at it, so I know better than to actually say I'm going to quit. It's just that being a writter and an introverted loner in a family of five comes with some minefields. I guess that's the point. Life is complicated and it can be hard to carve out time for our interests. "We" meaning "me" of course. If you don't seem to struggle with this, you have my envy. But I'd be lying if I said I would trade my family for anything. I wouldn't. It's just the juggling act can be tiring.


Saturday Morning Blues

Posted by Brian in Montana , 14 January 2017 · 171 views

Well, I think it's time to decommission this laptop I've used for years. I've written a pile of stuff on it, but I've been aware that the battery is getting old and seems to lose its juice more quickly than it ought. I'm currently at my in-laws house, got up early this morning to write like I generally do on weekends. I didn't plug my laptop in, mostly out of laziness I admit, but I was watching the battery indicator with the thought I'd plug it in when it got low. The indicator got about halfway discharged, then my laptop lost power and went off. I'm working on my second novel. I was on chapter 3, writing about the FBI raiding a house inhabited by a violent blood cult whose livlihood involves the trafficking of drugs, guns, and humans. I hadn't written much, a little more than a page, but the chapter was starting to find its rythim. That's when the laptop went down and I lost it all. The document recovery feature didn't catch it for some reason, so that's that. It's irritating. Now the groove is broken, I can't bring myself to start over on it right now, so I figured I'd just blog my heartbreak and then do some reading.


First Entry

Posted by Brian in Montana , 31 December 2016 · 170 views

Well, this is my first blog entry. I doubt it will be anything all that interesting as I really don't have a lot of time for it this morning. Perhaps blogging will be something to keep me writting, journaling, on a more consistent basis. I write a lot, but recently have been through a slow period. You might actually say an unproductive period. For several years I've been hacking away at a novel. During that time I branched off on several tangents, sidebars, articles and such, but I always came back to the novel - a historical fiction novel that I'm currently calling "Of Those Dead". I finished Of Those Dead last spring and since then, I've done some editing and rewriting of various parts of it, but I've been largely directionless.

Yesterday, I spent some time looking over other projects and story notes and decided to start pounding away at one I'm calling "The Gods of Old". It's a strange one that, although I cringe to admit it, fits better into the genre of fantasy, although I wish I could say sci-fi. It's going to be a big, bloated, burly tome full of twists and turns with too many characters. You might call it "semi-appocolyptic" although not really in the wholesale Walking Dead sense. Anyway, as far as the projects go that I have started or written some notes on, The Gods is the one that currently seems to have the most life in it. So I'm going with that until it's finished. Then I'll start another.

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