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Habitually Almost Quitting

Posted by Brian in Montana , 16 January 2017 · 67 views

Lots of smokers could probably be described as habitual almost quitters. I could say that about myself when it comes to writing. I don't have the same frustrations a lot of people do. I'm not trying to make a living at this (haven't quit my day job yet, although some day I hope to), so I don't worry too much about rejections and the sort. What makes me "almost" quit on a habitual basis are the people closest to me. I enjoy 3-day weekends, so generally my habit is to get up early - Friday through Sunday, go into the big walk-in closet with my laptop, and start working on whatever it is I've been writting, an article or a story or whatever. I find that what often happens is, I'm really starting to hit my stride when my three kids start crawling out of their beds. They're good, polite, intelligent little farts, but the first thing they want to do is come into the closet and sit and talk to me while I'm writing. I have a one-track mind and need to have quiet when I'm writing. So, I sit there and hope that my wife will get up and get them some breakfast started or something - that never happens. Then another kid comes in, then another, then its very crowded in the walk-in closet and they all start talking to each other as well as me. At that point it, I'm starting to snap at my kids, who really haven't done anything wrong, they're just being kids. Then it becomes clear my wife isn't getting up any time soon, so I shut down what I'm working on and go make them breakfast.

And I'm mad, and frustrated, and feel guilty for barking at my kids, and then I just want to throw up my hands and quit writing. I need to get up at 0400 in order to actually get anything significant done, and like most other red-blooded Americans, I'm generally too tired for that. I usually get up before 6:00, but that hardly cuts it a lot of weekends.

I'm not going to quite. This is part of who I am and I've had a little success at it, so I know better than to actually say I'm going to quit. It's just that being a writter and an introverted loner in a family of five comes with some minefields. I guess that's the point. Life is complicated and it can be hard to carve out time for our interests. "We" meaning "me" of course. If you don't seem to struggle with this, you have my envy. But I'd be lying if I said I would trade my family for anything. I wouldn't. It's just the juggling act can be tiring.




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