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Recently Added Posts

  • cchristiePhoto

    Here's another direction you might want to consider to avoid passive voice.  (maybe add age) Alan _____ last saw his wife on the same morning civilization last saw the sun. He walked...

  • TM5Photo

    TM5 - Today, 07:34 PM

    Thank you to you both!  I think part of the problem I am having is that the story is based on two alternating (by chapter) views.  One is from the human side and the other is from the sas...

  • jphollisPhoto

    jphollis - Today, 07:20 PM

    Hi, my name is Teri and I am a new member who has just completed my first MS.  I have my first draft for a query letter below.  If anyone would like to review or critique it, I would be g...

  • jphollisPhoto

    Hey awesome people,Is this getting better in terms of showing stakes and obstacles?  Dear Agent, Helen, twenty-nine, has a magic mushroom-induced voice in her head and a dating histo...

  • jphollisPhoto
    The Hollowed Heart (YA Sci-Fi)

    jphollis - Today, 07:10 PM

     Hey everyone! Thank you in advance. I have two versions, that I'm unsure of. Let me know what you think! More traditional version: When sixteen-year- old Caleb Bryar murders his boy...

  • jphollisPhoto
    Unqueenly (YA Epic Fantasy)

    jphollis - Today, 07:04 PM

    Hi everyone! This is my query for a new novel I wrote, which I hope to start sending to agents next month. It's kind of long, so I wonder if anyone has opinions on how I can shorten it?  ...

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    Dark Core (newest on post 9)

    jphollis - Today, 06:51 PM

    Reincarnation can be a bitch, especially when a mad goddess keeps killing you. Even worse when you don’t know that. (This second sentence doesn't make a lot of sense and also takes away from t...

  • jphollisPhoto
    To Catch A Dream (Magical Realism)

    jphollis - Today, 06:47 PM

    Thanks so much for the replies, guys! I tried to include Emily's side of the story because the novel is shown from both perspectives, but you're right - it does seem a little out-of-left-field insa...

  • G A JohnsonPhoto

    G A Johnson - Today, 06:40 PM

    Hi Teri! Congrats on your first MS. You've done well at getting to the point of the action, and keeping things from rambling (like I tend to do). There are just a couple stylistic points I'll fix o...

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