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SUGARCANE


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#1 Charis

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 01:07 PM

Dear Agent,

Lola is desperate to escape the grips of her controlling father. As the youngest daughter of six, her siblings are fearful of her plans, as much as her father underestimates her will. Fueled by a melancholic temper, she forgoes her inheritance, ignores the curse of madness spoken face to face by her father, and escapes to find her destiny in SUGARCANE.


Lola burned through childhood, helpless, as she watched the unhappiness of her six older siblings who succumbed to her father's wishes and the violence against her mother. Enslaved by an African culture that demands quiet submission amidst all the injustice and honor her father’s name, she grows up embittered and angry about her luck in life. She uses her very intimate faith in God, and innocent imaginations to begin a physical and spiritual journey to find her destiny. Thus she embarks on an escape to America from Nigeria, but soon discovers that she her agent had left out a truth about what her identity would be in America. Relentless, Lola fights again to escape the control of her agent and lone contact in America. She pursues her dream all the way from America to the Middle East and Canada, and along the way, she comes to realize that the sour taste of her relationship with her father is a constant psychological kryptonite to her pursuit for freedom and fame.

SUGARCANE connects to every grown-up child who braved through emotional abandonment to stand for a vision. It brings to life the story of the shepherd boy in THE ALCHEMIST by Paolo Coelho.

I am seeking representation for SUGARCANE, a memoir. I have worked as a middle-grades educator with years of international experience and also serve as a counselor and youth leader.

Thank you very much for your consideration.

#2 mwsinclair

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 01:57 PM

My first question is whether this is memoir or intended as a journalistic piece or something else. "True life satire" doesn't really answer that for me, but I'm assuming that it's not a memoir. I think an agent would wonder how you're able to tell the story. Is it an "as told to..." piece or a fictionalization based on someone else's experience.

#3 mdsagould

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Posted 20 July 2015 - 06:23 PM

Lola is desperate to escape the grips of her controlling father. As the youngest daughter of six, her siblings are fearful of her plans. as much as her father underestimates her will. Fueled by a melancholic temper  (too wordy and doesn't explain anything), Leaving her 5 older siblings ,she forgoes her inheritance, ignores her father's threats (what threats though- curse of madness? Is he a witch? the curse of madness spoken face to face by her father  (again too wordy and doesn't explain), and escapes to find her destiny in SUGARCANE (where is sugarcane? Where is she escaping from.


Lola burned through childhood, helpless, as she watched the unhappiness of her six older siblings (does she have 6 siblings or is she the youngest of six siblings? Your first paragraph says she has 5 siblings but this paragraph says she has 6. Which is it?) who succumbed to her father's wishes and the violence against her mother. Enslaved by an African culture that demands quiet submission amidst all the injustice and honor her father’s name  (redundant), she grows up embittered and angry about her luck in life. She uses her very intimate faith in God, and innocent imaginations to begin a physical and spiritual journey, embarking on an escape from America to Nigeria, to find her destiny. Thus she embarks on an escape to America from Nigeria,  (can be said in one sentence)but soon discovers that she her agent had left out a truth about what her identity would be in America (what identity is this?). Relentless, Lola fights again to escape the control of her agent and lone contact in America. She pursues her dream all the way from America to the Middle East and Canada, and along the way, she comes to realize that the sour taste of her relationship with her father is a constant psychological kryptonite to her pursuit for freedom and fame (what is she wanting to be famous for?).

SUGARCANE connects to every grown-up child who braved through emotional abandonment to stand for a vision. It brings to life the story of the shepherd boy in THE ALCHEMIST by Paolo Coelho.

I am seeking representation for SUGARCANE, a memoir. I have worked as a middle-grades educator with years of international experience and also serve as a counselor and youth leader.

Thank you very much for your consideration.       Explain early on that this is a memoir.   Needs Major Revision all around



#4 Dr Anne

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Posted 25 August 2015 - 07:49 PM

If this is a true story it's really a biography rather than a memoir, unless the writer is Lola. The only other way it could be classified as a memoir is if the writer is related to Lola, or closely associated with her, eg a close friend/ her daughter/sister, and is recalling events from her own life ( and how Lola's story affected her own life) as well. Also a memoir is usually written in first person.

 

I have written a memoir based on my father, but I am in the story too.

 

If you have fictionalised Lola's story, then it can't be classified as a memoir.






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