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GROWING WISHBONES


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#1 TJ Askren

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Posted 30 November 2010 - 07:25 PM

“Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.” -- Clementine Paddleford


Jodi Keane wishes she knew who her father was while Melanie Byron wishes she could have any father but her own.

Growing Wishbones is the story of two young women, living very different lives, unknown to one another until the skeletons in their respective closets begin tumbling out.

The only thing missing from Jodi Keane's life is a father. She is the only child of single working mother and imagines her unknown father was a war hero. She begins her story when she starts pressing her mother for the truth about where she came from. With the close bond she has with her mother and the loving support of her gay uncle and his partner, Jodi tells her own tale about growing up in conservative Cincinnati, becoming a nurse, and coming to terms with her own sexuality.

Melanie Byron is a daughter of a proud Appalachian family with a long history of devaluing their females while venerating their brothers. She quickly learns her place, but the consequences of her abusive father instill a profound sense of worthlessness and put her on a road to self-destruction. When she is at her lowest point, a childhood friend persuades her to move to California and helps her to pick up the pieces of her broken life.

The novel incorporates local and world events and politics with the lives of the characters and also deals with subjects that many readers may experience in their own lives: suicide, adoption, miscarriage, single-parenting, the medical profession, racism, sexual abuse, and sexual orientation.

Growing Wishbones is a 106,000 word novel about families, real and imagined, but concludes that a true family is not a combination of blood, but a union of hearts.

I have been a critical care and emergency Registered Nurse for 27 years. I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio and have lived in Florida, California, and most recently, Ashland, Oregon. I have published short stories in Common Lives and Frighten the Horses. Growing Wishbones is my first novel.

Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.
Wielding pens and needles for 27 years. TJ Askren:@tjaskren;Homepage

#2 layinda

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Posted 30 November 2010 - 07:37 PM

This doesn't follow the frequently recommended three paragraph format, but I think it's good and I would send out a few to see how it goes.

#3 gaius

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Posted 30 November 2010 - 07:42 PM

I immediately like this. There are a few bumps, but overall, a good start. I'll watch to see how you progress.

Congrats,

Gaius

#4 S.K. Keogh

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Posted 30 November 2010 - 07:59 PM

You might want to add a sentence to hint at how the two women end up connecting. You don't need to give it away, just something to back up your statement about the skeletons tumbling out of the closet.

To shorten the query and not lose anything, I think you could ditch the paragraph about world events and common denominators.

I'm not sure you've convinced me that this story is different/better than others about women from abusive or neglected backgrounds.

____________

 

SKKeogh.com

 

http://www.facebook.com/S.K.Keogh


Click to purchase your copy or to read free samples
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#5 TJ Askren

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Posted 30 November 2010 - 08:09 PM

Not sure how to add revision.
Wielding pens and needles for 27 years. TJ Askren:@tjaskren;Homepage

#6 TJ Askren

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Posted 30 November 2010 - 08:10 PM

I have revised:


We all wish, at one time or another, that our lives could be different.

In GROWING WISHBONES, the only thing missing from Jodi Keane's life is a father. She is the only child of single working mother and imagines her unknown father was a war hero. She begins her story when she starts pressing her mother for the truth about where she came from. With the close bond she has with her mother and the loving support of her gay uncle and his partner, Jodi tells her own tale about growing up in conservative Cincinnati, becoming a nurse, and coming to terms with her own sexuality.

Melanie Byron is a daughter of a proud Appalachian family with a long history of devaluing their females while venerating their brothers. She quickly learns her place, but the consequences of her abusive father instill a profound sense of worthlessness and put her on a road to self-destruction. When she is at her lowest point, a childhood friend persuades her to move to California and helps her to pick up the pieces of her broken life.

Through the 1960s to the end of the 20th century, adoption, sexual abuse, single parenthood, miscarriage, suicide, medicine, racism, and sexual orientation are woven into GROWING WISHBONES, a completed 106,000 word family saga/literary novel, shows that a true family is not a combining of bloodlines, but a union of hearts.

I have been a critical care and emergency Registered Nurse for 27 years. I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio and have lived in Florida, California, and most recently, Ashland, Oregon. I have published short stories in Common Lives and Frighten the Horses. GROWING WISHBONES is my first novel.

Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.
Wielding pens and needles for 27 years. TJ Askren:@tjaskren;Homepage

#7 Brendacarre

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Posted 01 December 2010 - 12:52 AM

I think you have shortened this nicely and thereby made it a lot clearer. I like the idea. Your query definitely has a literary voice. Why not send it out to a few 'test' subjects and see what your response rate is. :wink: Good luck.

#8 Pat Megahey

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Posted 05 December 2010 - 11:56 PM

This sounds like a book I would read, and I love the title. I think the revision is good, but it's not clear that your two main characters are connected in any way. I'm not sure if that matters in your query or not. Best of luck, Pat




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