Twelve-year-old Maia Quinn never imagined that a simple visit to
theher family’s hometown could turn into a race to stop unending winter I'd end the hook right here, I don't know if we need to know she's part Faie yet– until she learns that she is part Faie.
While staying with her aunt at her family’s mansion in Grunewald, Maia meets a mysterious trapeze artist at the town’s annual May Day party. During the strange encounter, Maia falls off a trapeze, faints, and wakes up with a glowing star in her forehead. As if this
alone was notwasn't reason enough for worry, she also starts having dreams that warn her Grunewald is in danger. Worse still, she is being stalked by a giant green Fairy hound that terrifies even her fearless friend, Kate. I like this paragraph a lot, it sets up the story well
Deciding not to let the hound frighten them, Maia and Kate “borrow” a hunting gun from Kate’s dad and set out to find and kill it. Except that you said in the previous paragraph that the hound terrifies them. That leaves me wondering what changed their minds? Instead, the hound leads them into Faie, where Maia learns that she is a descendant of that realm.
Faie is in trouble: someone has awoken the Goddess of Winter, and she is gathering her strength to end summer forever. Oh, sounds like the white witch from Naria! (that's not a bad thing, by the way, I love Narnia) Being a child of two worlds, Maia is the only one who can stop the Goddess,
and theusing a key to this ishidden inside Maia’s family mansion. Since the realms of people human? "people" sounds a little awkward, it's too general of a term and Faie are interconnected, saving Faie equals saving Maia’s own world. But she has until the end of Midsummer night to act, or else her world will turn to an icy desert. Since Maia is a child of both world, saying "Maia's own world" and "her world" isn't clear enough. Specify which of Maia's worlds she is motivated to save and why (I know you mean the human world/our world, but maybe tie it into saving her famly and friends, all of whom would be here and not in Faie)
Most of my suggestions in red are merely that, suggestions. A few of them are even nit-picky, you can take them or leave them. Overall I really like this a lot, this story sounds like fun to read and I think you've done good work on your query. I know how frustrating it is, my own query is making me tear my hair out. But you're getting there, you're close I think. I'd focus on that last paragraph the most, for clarity's sake and which world is which, etc. Good job, don't give up!