Posted 17 April 2014 - 04:16 PM
Hmmm, a little heavy with the explanations... I might flip it backwards and punctuate it a bit to make it read smoother. "Cadell starts a revolution when ... forms an alliance with the enemy against a common foe..."
Something like that, maybe.
~ It may look like I know what I'm doing, but by no means do I know what the hell I'm talking about. ~
~ The only Operations Director Furry Fiesta has ever known (since 2014) ~
~ ACFI Ops, Theme & Narrative Development, and Performance lead since 2017 ~
Michelle (WIP - Chapter 10 as of June 2017)