NEW REVISION IN POST #101!
I'm a new member here seeking feedback on my query (obviously!). I've been going through the QueryShark archives, and had planned on critiquing here and a couple other forums before posting my own, but I've decided to take a class on querying from Litreactor.com that starts on the 21st, so my schedule is a bit more crammed than I originally intended. Which means I'll be pulling double-duty with revising and critiquing. Anyways, without further ado, here's the current draft I have to offer.
Dani Redfield only desired one thing—to see the Earth—not become the first Xanos child at Gifted Gen to get sick.
Isolated in captivity with her parents arrested, everything was lost. That is, until the benevolent hand of the enigmatic Archer Drago saved them. Offering restitution through a new home, school, and personal escort, Drago grants Dani’s heart’s greatest desire: free reign to explore among the space colony’s Lan Chou distract—her first true slice of Earth.
But, as she quickly learns, nothing comes without its price. Alienated from her peers, along with a budding tension between her and her parents, Dani struggles to come to grips with the hard truth of her reality. Of who and what she is. More importantly, Drago’s stake in her.
For Dani is the first of mankind to survive a mutated genome; a genome which holds the power to revolutionize the corrupted Sky United Society under Drago’s vision. But, can she trust his ambitions for their good intent? Or is a more sinister plot lurking within his aspirations that threaten the lives of those she loves most?
Only one thing is certain. Nothing can ever be the same again . . . just like her genes.
Recoded Volume 1: Alan and Rachael is a 123,000 word social sci-fi novel.
Thank you for your time and consideration
--Ryan K Alford