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MY SOUL TO KEEP (YA Contemporary fantasy)


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#1 Ireth

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Posted 11 July 2014 - 05:47 PM

Here are my first couple of ideas for Twitter-style hooks for my newest WIP.

 

17 y/o Liam wants his dead sister out of his head and in a new body. But the necromancer who killed her has other plans. #YA CF

 

17 y/o Liam wants to free his dead sister's soul from his mind. So does her killer -- but for his own reasons. #YA CF


There's too much blood in my tea system. Time to put the kettle on.

 

~~~

 

All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!

 

Queries:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/

 

Hooks:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/

 

Synopses:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/


#2 maybo

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Posted 12 July 2014 - 07:20 PM

That is interesting.



#3 Ireth

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Posted 12 July 2014 - 10:41 PM

Thanks, maybo! Glad you think so!


There's too much blood in my tea system. Time to put the kettle on.

 

~~~

 

All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!

 

Queries:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/

 

Hooks:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/

 

Synopses:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/


#4 Neicolec

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Posted 13 July 2014 - 02:24 PM

I like the first one, which provides a little more information. Very nice!



#5 Ireth

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Posted 13 July 2014 - 11:38 PM

Looking at this again, I realize my first hook is misleading. Technically the killer wants the same thing Liam and Eve do, but plans to go about it in a very different way. So "other plans" doesn't quite work. I want to keep the detail that he's a necromancer, but I'm not sure I could fit it into the second hook without going over 140 characters.


There's too much blood in my tea system. Time to put the kettle on.

 

~~~

 

All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!

 

Queries:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/

 

Hooks:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/

 

Synopses:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/


#6 Blitzing

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Posted 19 July 2014 - 12:21 PM

I think it's okay to not be *completely* accurate in a hook. The agent will basically want to see you have a workable conflict, and your conflict seems to be basically arising out of the differences between Liam and the necromancer, which is very evident from the first hook as well. I don't think it should be a problem if you don't find an alternative to 'other plans'


~ Shaya Roy ~

www.shayaroy.com

 

Current query (contemporary romance)  

 


#7 Dottie D.

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Posted 19 July 2014 - 06:14 PM

i liked them both. if this is for pitch wars, you can use many throughout the day so i say go for both.



#8 Gibber

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 02:00 PM

Not sure if this is something you're still working on, but what if you combined the two?

 

"17 y/o Liam wants his dead sister out of his head. So does her killer."



#9 Ireth

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 02:09 PM

Not sure if this is something you're still working on, but what if you combined the two?

 

"17 y/o Liam wants his dead sister out of his head. So does her killer."

 

I like the first part, but I think the second part could use some elaboration. I might add the necromancer bit in there, like: "17 y/o Liam wants his dead sister out of his head. So does the necromancer who killed her." Is that any better?


There's too much blood in my tea system. Time to put the kettle on.

 

~~~

 

All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!

 

Queries:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/

 

Hooks:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/

 

Synopses:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/


#10 Gibber

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 03:35 PM

Ooh, I like it.



#11 DutchessOfDork

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 03:42 PM

Creepy cool


-Dutchess Of Dork

 

I need help with my query letter, please check it out! (ENDING FEAR, YA Speculative)

http://agentquerycon...a-speculative/ 

 

"Speculative fiction is fuel for the future and whets the appetite of the eaters of words."

-Romeo Esparrago, associate editor, art and graphics 


#12 Tanvi

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Posted 29 January 2015 - 02:50 AM

I liked the first hook at the start! And of course, a hook doesn't have to be like accurate to the last word. It's about conflict and interest while keeping the main idea of the overall story intact.

 

Also -- did you know a book with the title My Soul To Keep already exists? The author Courtney Allison Moulton (Anglefire series) had used that title for her first book too, before changing it.

 

Thought I'd point out :)



#13 Ireth

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Posted 29 January 2015 - 08:37 AM

I liked the first hook at the start! And of course, a hook doesn't have to be like accurate to the last word. It's about conflict and interest while keeping the main idea of the overall story intact.

 

Also -- did you know a book with the title My Soul To Keep already exists? The author Courtney Allison Moulton (Anglefire series) had used that title for her first book too, before changing it.

 

Thought I'd point out :)

 

I didn't know that. Thanks for letting me know!


There's too much blood in my tea system. Time to put the kettle on.

 

~~~

 

All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!

 

Queries:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/

 

Hooks:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/

 

Synopses:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/


#14 livingst

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Posted 04 February 2015 - 02:58 AM

I really love the first one, Ireth! I saw that "other plans" wasn't what you meant though. What about the following:

 

17 y/o Liam wants his dead sister out of his head and in a new body. But the necromancer who killed her has his own plans. #YA CF

 

Other implies something completely different, but "his own" could be interpreted in a variety of ways. To me, it could mean completely different plans OR same goal as Liam via an alternative plan. I think it just sounds more flexible.


Any advice on the first 250 words of my novel would be greatly appreciated: http://agentquerycon...ost-3/?p=270872

The query can be found here: http://agentquerycon...-sci-fifantasy/


#15 Shawnee

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Posted 04 February 2015 - 02:49 PM

I really like the revision you made in post #9.. "17 y/o Liam wants his dead sister out of his head. So does the necromancer who killed her." It draws me in. I want to know how the sister ended up in his head and what chaos she is causing there. Also, I'm anxious to know why the necromancer killed her and how he or she knows she  is in Liam's head and what's going to happen when and if she gets out. I think your hook raises all the right questions to want to read more. Great job!


“I do not over-intellectualize the production process. I try to keep it simple: Tell the damned story.”
—Tom Clancy





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