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MY SOUL TO KEEP -- YA Contemporary Fantasy


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#1 Ireth

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 03:08 PM

In present-day Tralee, Ireland, LIAM FARRELL and his twin sister EVELYN "EVE" FARRELL are celebrating their seventeenth birthday when a drive-by shooter fatally wounds Eve. When she dies in Liam's arms, her soul enters his mind.

 

After Eve's funeral, Liam hears her voice in his head and fears he's going insane. Eve tells him that her soul is inside him, and proves it by borrowing his body while he sleeps to write a letter to him. Liam keeps Eve a secret from their parents, and starts researching anything he can find on magic and the dead. Nothing in the public library is any use. A handwritten note bearing two names, an address, and instructions on how to get there proves far more useful.

 

Liam convinces his parents to leave town, and proceeds to follow the note's instructions by getting lost in a forest south of Tralee. When he grows doubtful and tries to find his way back, an unseen figure pursues him. Liam is wounded and falls unconscious. He wakes in the care of the very people he had sought: an enchanter known only as MIST, and his partner, a necromancer named MITCHELL HAYES-KAVANAGH. They live in the Everywood, a magically-created realm with gates to every forest in every place and time on Earth. Their cottage is warded against intruders, from wild animals to other mages.

 

Liam asks the two mages for help in getting Eve's soul out of his head. Mitchell agrees to do his best to help, with no guarantees of safety or success, as tampering with souls is difficult and dangerous. He also warns Liam about the Order of the Shroud, a sect of amoral necromancers, whom he believes is targeting the Farrell twins for their own purposes. Mitchell suspects they had a hand in Eve's death, but has not yet discovered why.

 

As weeks pass, Eve grows impatient with Mitchell's slow progress in finding a way to free her. Liam discovers she has been borrowing his body at night without his permission, and she is addicted to the feeling of having a body she can control. Mitchell urges her to stop, as her soul has become more and more entwined with Liam's body every time she uses it; if she persists, she will be trapped there forever, and it is possible she will force Liam's spirit into her place as a passenger in his own body. Eve swears never to borrow Liam's body again.

 

On an errand for Mitchell, Liam goes to the outermost edge of the wards, where they are weakest. An accidental fall lands him outside of the wards, where members of the Order abduct him. Liam wakes in their headquarters and comes face to face with Eve's killer, DAMIEN ROWLE. Damien reveals that Eve's murder was orchestrated by the Order to complete a Frankenstein-esque experiment involving soul transfer and reanimation. But the plan was botched when Eve's soul entered Liam's body, and now the Order intend to make things right by transferring her to the corpse of Damien's niece.

 

Partway through the ritual, Mist and Mitchell arrive to save Liam and Eve. Mist holds the Order off with magic while Mitchell frees Liam and flees with him. The battle ends in an explosion which kills Mist and many Order members, and severs Eve from Liam completely. Liam wakes a few days later to find that Eve now inhabits a body which is partly hers, partly that of Damien's niece, and partly made of magic.

 

Liam returns to Ireland with Eve, now renamed "Misty Woods" in memory of Mist. They return at the moment Eve left, with their parents none the wiser. Liam introduces "Misty" to his parents as an orphan he met in the woods, and they agree to care for her as if she were their own.


There's too much blood in my tea system. Time to put the kettle on.

 

~~~

 

All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!

 

Queries:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/

 

Hooks:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/

 

Synopses:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/


#2 Tanja

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Posted 18 September 2014 - 08:35 AM

I have read several versions of DANCING ON EDGES that you've posted. And I fell in love with the spirit you bring across. I was looking for that spirit in this synopsis, even it's a different story, but I sort of can't find it. It's hard to explain. It's easy to read and all that. But I know you can do a lot better than just write down what happens. Please don't take me wrong. But I know what you're capable off. Shine. And you can shine. 250 words you've posted in that other story and you had me. I know it's not easy. I haven't even tried my synopsis yet. Still struggling with the query. But I know what you can do. Even the story is a little grim. you can make it shine :smile:


Query:  10 DAY BETRAYAL

             10 DAY CONSPIRACY

 

Twitter: @tccorrey


#3 Ireth

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Posted 18 September 2014 - 03:21 PM

Thanks for the encouraging words, Tanja! I've been reading other peoples' comments on synopses (not mine), and some have noted where there's "too much voice". It seems to be accepted that synopses are a little dry, whereas queries and the novels themselves are more vibrant. Any thoughts on this while I ponder how to revise my synopsis?


There's too much blood in my tea system. Time to put the kettle on.

 

~~~

 

All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!

 

Queries:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/

 

Hooks:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/

 

Synopses:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/


#4 Gee

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Posted 29 March 2015 - 08:26 AM

In present-day Tralee, Ireland, LIAM FARRELL and his twin sister EVELYN "EVE" FARRELL are celebrating their seventeenth birthday when a drive-by shooter fatally wounds Eve. When she dies in Liam's arms, her soul enters his mind.

 

After Eve's funeral, Liam hears her voice in his head and fears he's going insane. Eve tells him that her soul is inside him, and proves it by borrowing his body while he sleeps to write a letter to him. Liam keeps Eve (presence/ spirit) a secret from their parents, and starts researching anything he can find on magic and the dead this phenomenon. Nothing in the public library is any use. The library turns up nothing, but aA handwritten note bearing two names, an address, and instructions on how to get there provides and unexpected lead proves far more useful.

 

Fearing danger in what he is about to do, Liam convinces persuades his parents to leave town(stop), and proceeds to follow He follows the note's exact instructions by but becomes getting lost in a forest south of Tralee. When he grows doubtful and Now fearful, he tries to find his way back, as an unseen figure pursues him. Liam is wounded and falls unconscious. He wakes in the care of the very people he had sought: an enchanter known only as MIST, and his partner, a necromancer named MITCHELL HAYES-KAVANAGH. They live in the Everywood, a magically-created realm with gates to every forest in every place and time on Earth. Their cottage is warded against intruders, from whether they be wild animals to other mages.

 

Liam asks the two mages for help to release Eve's soul from his mind so that her spirit might rest. in getting Eve's soul out of his head. Mitchell agrees to do his best to help, with no guarantees of safety or success, as tampering with souls is difficult and dangerous. He also warns Liam about the Order of the Shroud, a sect of amoral necromancers, whom he believes is targeting the Farrell twins for their own purposes. Mitchell suspects they had a hand in Eve's death, but does not yet know why. has not yet discovered why.

 

As weeks pass, Eve grows impatient to find final peace. with Mitchell's slow progress in finding a way to free her. Liam discovers she has been borrowing his body at night without his permission, and she is addicted to the feeling of having a body she can control. Mitchell urges her to stop, as her soul has becomes more and more entwined with Liam's body every time she uses it; if she persists, she will be trapped there forever, and it is possible she will force Liam's spirit to become into her place as a passenger in his own body. Eve swears never to borrow Liam's body again.

 

On an errand for Mitchell, Liam goes travels to the outermost edge of the forest where the wards, where they are weakest. An accidental fall lands him outside of the boundary wards, where members of the Order abduct him. Liam wakes in their headquarters and comes face to face with Eve's killer, DAMIEN ROWLE. Damien reveals that Eve's murder was orchestrated by the Order to complete a Frankenstein-esque experiment involving soul transfer and reanimation. But the plan was botched when Eve's soul entered Liam's body, and now the Order intend to make things right by transferring her to the corpse of Damien's niece.

 

Partway through the ritual, Mist and Mitchell arrive to save Liam and Eve. Mist holds the Order off with magic while Mitchell frees Liam and flees with him. The battle ends in an explosion which kills Mist and many Order members, and severs Eve from Liam completely. Liam wakes a few days later to find that Eve now inhabits a body which is partly hers, partly that of Damien's niece, and partly made of magic.

 

Liam returns to Ireland with Eve, now renamed "Misty Woods" in memory of Mist. They return at the moment Eve left, with their parents none the wiser. Liam introduces "Misty" to his parents as an orphan he met in the woods, and they agree to care for her as if she were their own.

 

This is a really lovely story :) I have offered a few wordsmith type suggestions, but it flows nicely, and I can see the whole story laid out clearly.

My query Serenity Divided - http://agentquerycon...scifi/?p=275866

My synopsis Serenity Divided - http://agentquerycon...opsis/?p=275502


Please check out my 250 word book blurb http://agentquerycon...avour/?p=329994


#5 Ireth

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Posted 29 March 2015 - 10:33 AM

Thanks for your suggestions, Gee!


There's too much blood in my tea system. Time to put the kettle on.

 

~~~

 

All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!

 

Queries:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/

 

Hooks:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/

 

Synopses:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/





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