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#1 CupofCoffee

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Posted 21 February 2011 - 04:42 AM

Okay, so ... first novel, first query attempt. Would love to see your thoughts.
---

Dear [Agent Name],

Sometimes parents get themselves into trouble. And on the rare occasion, they get themselves into deep, dark, just got arrested by ancient underground creatures kind of trouble.

This is what happens to sixteen-year-old Jasmine Pruett’s parents when a storm forces her family and her impolite neighbors into a storm shelter for a night. Aside from having to deal with Corin, a guy she’s hated since childhood, she wakes up in the shelter to find that their parents are gone. After searching everywhere, they find a secret entrance to underground tunnels that lead them to a quirky creature named Atrik, who calls himself a ‘Kadgin’. Atrik not only leads them on a quest to find and rescue their parents, but also to save the Kadgins of Brightland from causing their own annihilation.

I AM ATRIK is a YA, Fantasy/Romance novel completed at _____ words.

Sincerely,
[My name]

----
I'm also starting this process earlier than most. I have the entire novel planned out, have written some of it, but I thought maybe without all of those written scenes dancing around in my head, I can make this easier on myself. Also, I'm a procrastinator, so ... this head start is insurance against it. =) (edit: Also, just realized I didn't capitalize 'am' in the topic title. Now my eye is twitching.)

#2 Darke

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Posted 21 February 2011 - 07:54 AM

I'm also starting this process earlier than most. I have the entire novel planned out, have written some of it, but I thought maybe without all of those written scenes dancing around in my head, I can make this easier on myself. Also, I'm a procrastinator, so ... this head start is insurance against it. =) (edit: Also, just realized I didn't capitalize 'am' in the topic title. Now my eye is twitching.)


Please don't tell me you're querying before your novel is finished, because that is one of the BIGGEST NO-NO'S in the business! Finish your novel, THEN work on the query. Don't be in such a rush.

~I am neither an author nor a writer; I am a storyteller with good grammar.~

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#3 CupofCoffee

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Posted 21 February 2011 - 08:11 AM

Please don't tell me you're querying before your novel is finished, because that is one of the BIGGEST NO-NO'S in the business! Finish your novel, THEN work on the query. Don't be in such a rush.


Lol, I'm not querying agents, if that's what you're worried about. I am, however, writing the query before the manuscript is finished.

But otherwise, I'm just curious if the way I'm writing the query is going in the right direction. I definitely know it would be pointless for me to try and query an agent without my manuscript finished, critiqued, edited, hashed out by people I don't know, etc. I apologize for not clarifying that.

#4 Darke

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Posted 21 February 2011 - 08:18 AM

Lol, I'm not querying agents, if that's what you're worried about. I am, however, writing the query before the manuscript is finished.

But otherwise, I'm just curious if the way I'm writing the query is going in the right direction. I definitely know it would be pointless for me to try and query an agent without my manuscript finished, critiqued, edited, hashed out by people I don't know, etc. I apologize for not clarifying that.


Lol, I just about had an anurism.

~I am neither an author nor a writer; I am a storyteller with good grammar.~

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#5 C. Taylor

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Posted 21 February 2011 - 08:37 AM

Not too big a deal if you write the query before you're done with your ms, but like Darke said, do NOT query until your ms is completed, edited and polished to within an inch of its life and yours.

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#6 Darke

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Posted 21 February 2011 - 10:44 AM

But otherwise, I'm just curious if the way I'm writing the query is going in the right direction. I definitely know it would be pointless for me to try and query an agent without my manuscript finished, critiqued, edited, hashed out by people I don't know, etc. I apologize for not clarifying that.


That's just it, you won't know if it's going in the right direction because you haven't finished writing it yet. If you write your query based on the outline or first draft of your novel, you're going to have to re-write it after you've revised and polished. No story stays the same from first draft to polish. IMO, put this away and concentrate on the novel.

~I am neither an author nor a writer; I am a storyteller with good grammar.~

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#7 CupofCoffee

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Posted 21 February 2011 - 10:52 AM

Alright. Will do, Darke.

#8 ravage

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Posted 22 February 2011 - 11:56 AM

This is Mews, I'm at work and forgot my password, so I just registered here...
Not thrilled about the, this is what happens... I might rework that sentence to sound more like, When a adjstorm forces sixteen year old name into.... Get rid of Corin, even if it is important, the info is interupting the thread you started with the shelter. I'd like to see the rework. I think you might be onto something by starting early. I know some disagree, but had I started earlier and understood the query process better I would still have a decent list of agents I hadn't turned off with inept and inexperienced querys.
The aim of any fiction writer is the same as the satirist. Without satire, we are stuck with the bland truth.

#9 tmcgee86

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Posted 22 February 2011 - 12:12 PM

Okay, so ... first novel, first query attempt. Would love to see your thoughts.
---

Dear [Agent Name],

Sometimes parents get themselves into trouble. And on the rare occasion, they get themselves into deep, dark, just got arrested by ancient underground creatures kind of trouble.

This is what happens to sixteen-year-old Jasmine Pruett’s parents when a storm forces her family and her impolite neighbors into a storm shelter for a night. Aside from having to deal with Corin, a guy she’s hated since childhood, she wakes up in the shelter to find that their parents are gone. (SV Agreement problem, "she" wakes up to find "their" parents gone.) After searching everywhere, they find a secret entrance to underground tunnels that lead them to a quirky creature named Atrik, who calls himself a ‘Kadgin’. Atrik not only leads them on a quest to find and rescue their parents, but also to save the Kadgins of Brightland from causing their own annihilation.

I AM ATRIK is a YA, Fantasy/Romance novel completed at _____ words.

Sincerely,
[My name]

----
I'm also starting this process earlier than most. I have the entire novel planned out, have written some of it, but I thought maybe without all of those written scenes dancing around in my head, I can make this easier on myself. Also, I'm a procrastinator, so ... this head start is insurance against it. =) (edit: Also, just realized I didn't capitalize 'am' in the topic title. Now my eye is twitching.)


I was going to say the ending is a little weak, but then I read that you haven't finished it yet, so I think once you finish you will be able to shore it up with a little more detail. Overall I like it a lot. Good job.




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