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The Most Important Sentence Game aka The RJ Stewart Game


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#41 RSMellette

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    Billy Bobble Makes A Magic Wand, Dec. 2014 Elephant's Bookshelf Press

Posted 04 January 2017 - 09:45 PM

Page 1 line 1 from a WIP called "Twist"

 

An astute reader may notice that this story begins some years ago, which should be no surprise, as one may never know how much time passes between when words are set on the page and when they might be gobbled up by the reader. 

 

hmmmm... needs work.


From Elephant's Bookshelf Press

 

51xExIpByyL._SS140_SH35_.jpg51n1zBAR2vL._SS140_SH35_.jpg

by R.S. Mellette

"WOW. That is the first word that comes to mind when I think about how I felt reading this book - WOW. I was so pleasantly surprised - oh, let's be honest, it was more like blown away!" -- Holy B. In NC, Amazon Review.


#42 clpolk

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Posted 05 January 2017 - 08:34 PM

Page 1, line 1:

 

The memo stank of barrel-printing ink and bad news. 



#43 clpolk

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Posted 10 January 2017 - 12:30 PM

And from the first short story I've written in ten years: 

 

I was somebody's firstborn child.



#44 RSMellette

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    Billy Bobble Makes A Magic Wand, Dec. 2014 Elephant's Bookshelf Press

Posted 10 January 2017 - 12:40 PM

And from the first short story I've written in ten years: 

 

I was somebody's firstborn child.

 

That's an awesome opening line.


From Elephant's Bookshelf Press

 

51xExIpByyL._SS140_SH35_.jpg51n1zBAR2vL._SS140_SH35_.jpg

by R.S. Mellette

"WOW. That is the first word that comes to mind when I think about how I felt reading this book - WOW. I was so pleasantly surprised - oh, let's be honest, it was more like blown away!" -- Holy B. In NC, Amazon Review.


#45 clpolk

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Posted 10 January 2017 - 04:14 PM

woot! It's not often I hit a good one so early in the process. thanks!



#46 Gibber

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 10:14 AM

clpolk: I like both of them, but there's something wonderfully pessimistic about the "stank of ink and bad news" that I adore.

 

Here's mine (for now):

 

The dogs are missing.



#47 clpolk

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 03:44 PM

I want to know why they're missing.



#48 JeffJustWrites

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 12:39 PM

From the opening entry of "The Personal Account of Darius Carlyle":

"I myself am an affront to the human condition."

#49 Thrash

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 09:12 PM

Page 1 line 1 from a WIP called "Twist"

 

An astute reader may notice that this story begins some years ago, which should be no surprise, as one may never know how much time passes between when words are set on the page and when they might be gobbled up gobbled?  Going for a comic tone? by the reader. 

 

hmmmm... needs work.

I think the conceit to the reader makes this a bit wordy, and could be subtext.  With the cuts I did above, it's still obvious the author is speaking directly to the reader. 



#50 RSMellette

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    Billy Bobble Makes A Magic Wand, Dec. 2014 Elephant's Bookshelf Press

Posted 14 January 2017 - 09:33 PM

Thanks, Thrash. This is actually based on a Dickens story, so there is the challenge of capturing his feel, if not his voice, in a modern piece. 


From Elephant's Bookshelf Press

 

51xExIpByyL._SS140_SH35_.jpg51n1zBAR2vL._SS140_SH35_.jpg

by R.S. Mellette

"WOW. That is the first word that comes to mind when I think about how I felt reading this book - WOW. I was so pleasantly surprised - oh, let's be honest, it was more like blown away!" -- Holy B. In NC, Amazon Review.





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