I wasn't sure if I was ready to post this or not, but I suppose now is as good as ever. At this point, I feel I have a great query and an absolutely killer book (in near-final editing stages), but not certain my synopsis will pan out as well as the former two. I just want something that's decent and makes sense enough not to give agent the urge to say no despite being impressed with the query and pages. If I had a more traditional story, this wouldn't be a problem, but my narrative is splti between three main POVs (Dani and her parents), and each of them carry various amounts of plot knowledge divided between them the others aren't aware of at times, or at all.
Unforunately, my MC, Dani, is the one who holds the least amount of info regarding the greater overarching plot. So I've tried to balance switching between her and her father in the synopsis given the partciular rules and limitations expected for a synopsis. I had the same problem with my query, but I was able to work around this once I decided to break a couple of the "rules" and microscope focus on the first major incident in the novel. So I've tried my best to keep to the adage "keep it simple stupid" (but most likely failed, of course).
Without further ado,
Word Count: 784
Date; March 15th 3237. Location; Heaven’s Reach International Space Colony. Classified project; The Xanos Gene Trial. Qualities; Hyper-intelligence and immunity to disease. Current Status; endangered by 3rd Gen five-year-old DANI REDFIELD.
In Eden Park, she stares at the Earth for the first time. It’s beautiful and majestic—everything her life the past week lacks. She’s the first child at Gifted Gen to get sick, and she doesn’t know why. Even worse, her parent’s fight about it crushes her with guilt. So much so, she can’t help but confide in her councilor what she overheard. That her father’s claims her mama gave her the virus are false; she never had it in the first place.
In that instant, ALAN REDFEILD’s worst nightmare turns reality. His boss, the Director—the scumbag who tried to molest his wife three years ago—now knows the truth. Dani wasn’t sick; her genes mutated. He’s arrested at his workstation along with his wife and slapped with conspiracy charges. He agonizes over the fact the daughter he tried to protect is now in the Director’s slimy clutches. His life’s over.
Enter ARCHER DRAGO—head of Drago Corporation and the Xanos Project’s founder. He fires the Director, drops the charges, and returns Dani. Going further, he promotes Alan to Director, and gives Dani a fresh start at a new school in the Lan Chou district. At first, she’s intimidated and daunted by her new surroundings and circumstances, but through the tutorage of her appointed Lan Chou escort—Drago’s fiancé—she learns to tap into inner strengths she never thought she possessed.
One morning, a hacked android nearly kidnaps her. During an argument between Drago’s fiancé and her parents, she indirectly learns that Drago’s kindness was nothing short of a ruse to catch a dangerous spy. Furious at the betrayal, Dani isolates herself in her room for four days, intent on never trusting anyone again. But her father changes her mind when he makes it clear it’s her choice, and her choice alone for a change, to keep playing the role of Drago’s bait. She chooses to do so, swelling with her new-found strength inside, but more importantly, the desire to protect her former Gifted Gen peers from bad men like the previous Director.
Things seem clear. But when Dani’s teacher pulls Alan aside to his office under the guise of a routine parent-teacher conference, he reveals himself as the spy—an agent of the mysterious order known as the Bai Mudan. A group Drago belonged too until he stole their holy creation, The Queen Seed—a genetic cocktail that’s the basis for the Xanos Project, and the source of Dani’s mutation. She’s a man-made savior, graced with potential abilities and powers beyond humanity’s comprehension. The Bai Mudan agent leaves Alan with an impossible choice—let him take Dani away to have a chance at true freedom, or leaving her to fate to become Drago’s ultimate tool in reshaping the world under his vision. Alan’s heart is torn, but he knows there’s only one right choice to make.
Date; July 12, the night of Gifted Gen’s first Graduation Ball. Alan takes his family out to Eden Park under the glowing presence of the Earth. There, he tells Dani as he hugs her, with tears in his eyes, “We’ll always love you, your Mama and I. No matter what.” He’s shot in the shoulder, bleeding. The Bai Mudan agent materializes from under an optic cameo cloak and zaps Dani unconscious with a bright electrical shock. She goes limp in his arms, and disappears with him, forever. His heart shatters, knowing, despite his best wishes, he’ll never see her again.
As his wife pulls his limp form along back to the ballroom, they find the rest of the parents have been murdered gruesomely by gunpoint. Shocked, horrified, and appalled beyond all comprehension, Drago appears on stage and reveals to them that Alan’s decision not to trust him has forced his hand. He has allowed Dani to be taken by the Bai Mudan agent, only so she can unknowingly help him locate their headquarters and eradicate them for good. Worst of all, he reveals Dani is only half the Queen Seed; the other half has bonded with him. He proves this by speaking directly into Alan’s mind telepathically. Backed into a corner with nowhere to run, the Redfield’s are tragically murdered. Alan’s wife dies in his arms before, like Ceaser on the Ides of March, the final figurative knife plunges into him.
With the first wheel of Drago’s plans for recreating world in motion, he awakens the genetic mutations in the other children. Like Dani, they become sick, and life’s circular nature begins anew.