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The Village to the Left. . . synopsis (Help! I'm struggling with this!)


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#1 matt.thomas

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 05:33 PM

Hello everyone,

I'm struggling with the synopsis. I need to cut it down a great deal. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks!

-Matt


THE VILLAGE TO THE LEFT OF SAGAMORE HILL is about twenty-two-year-old Tom Gareth, who is confronted by a lone messenger at his father’s wake. Tom identifies his father’s handwriting as he reads the letter. “You have a half-sister,” it says. “Her name is Jennifer Poe. She has been taken by a man named Davis to a place called the Village to the Left. It’s a home that shelters abused children, but it’s so much more than that. Or at least it used to be. I saw miracles, real miracles, happen. Lives changed for the better. I thought the Village would have helped Jenn. That it would have saved her like it saved others. But it’s a different place now. Davis has refused to return Jenn and the other children who were selected. He told me that he would release Jenn if you, and you alone, entered the Village. I don’t know why he wants you there or what he needs you for, but those are his terms. I know we haven’t talked in years, but there’s nothing I can do now. Jennifer Poe is all you have left. Save her.”


Feeling guilty for turning his back on his abusive father for so many years, and desperate to learn if he really does have a lost sibling, young Gareth launches an impossible investigation that begins in his father’s home. Looking beyond the discarded clothes and cobwebs, Gareth spots notes and clues etched on every inch of hard surface. When pieced together the scribbles reveal not only Jennifer Poe's location, but the fact that Tom's father was directly involved in the kidnapping and cover-up.
Tom picks up where his father’s notes end. The last person to see Jennifer Poe was her boyfriend, the very large and violent Laurent Newton. Tom unwittingly enters the man’s apartment in the hopes of getting some questions answered. Things go terribly awry and genuine queries turn into a series of punches and screams. Somehow, Tom knocks the brute unconscious, ties him up, and tries to go through the interrogation a second time. Barely aware, Laurent is more amenable and not only confirms the reality of Jennifer Poe and her kidnapping, but gives up the information Tom needs to continue his search.


Poe sent Laurent a series of letters that reveal more than Tom ever could have imagined. His father belonged to a group that is using a mystical house to rob kidnapped children of their dreams. Before Tom leaves, Laurent offers one last piece of evidence: a book containing a map to the Village.
Armed only with a fake FBI badge and a broken compass that always points West, Tom recruits the aid of the beautiful Lynette, his only friend and unlikely foil. The duo journey from the streets of Manhattan to the peaks of Colorado where they must decipher a mystical map to enter a forgotten town with rivers of black waters and forests of dying trees. The pair are quickly captured, and nearly killed, by a man named Torres, a sworn guardian of the Village to the Left. It is soon revealed, however, that Torres was an ally of Tom’s father, and not only releases the duo, but guides them. “Move through the forest,” he tells Tom. “There you’ll find Anduine Crescent. She will help you.”
Forced to leave Lynette behind, Tom follows a narrow path into Sagamore Hill. Once there he enters a vintage bar and is confronted by a group of guardians who beat the amateur-sleuth to a pulp. Tom is knocked unconscious. Later, he awakens to the scent of Asparagus soup and . . . chocolate rabbits. A quirky Anduine Crescent enters the room and describes how she saved Tom’s life.


The two talk, and Tom learns that Anduine was a former mayor of the Village to the Left who resigned early after her poor judgment nearly ended the life of a child. The Village is a large house filled with green fires that purge nightmares from the minds of the those who inhabit it. For generations, children from the surrounding three towns were brought to the house to have their nightmares erased by the green flames. It was this practice that kept the three towns in an idyllic state. But ever since Anduine turned over her title to Tom’s father, and his mysterious partner Davis, the three towns have become a dystopian realm. Days became shorter, nights longer, winds colder, and all can hear the captured children screaming through the darkness. Tom’s father brought Jennifer Poe to the Village in the hopes that she could somehow revitalize it, but her arrival only made things worse.
To learn Jennifer Poe's fate and discover the haunting realities of his father's past, Tom will have to infiltrate the Village, find Poe, and somehow escape. Anduine teaches Tom how to use a handgun, and he sets off with the weapon in tow. Under the cover of darkness, Tom enters the mysterious, and overwhelmingly large, house. He is met by a group of captured children who wish to see Davis overthrown. Tom learns that Davis, who currently controls the Village, stopped returning the children to the three towns to prevent them from being corrupted by outside influences. “He wants to kill you,” one girl tells Tom. “He wants to kill Poe, too.” The group lead Tom to the mayor’s office. Davis greets Tom as a friend and the two sit side by side in front of a large window.


Davis admits that he and Tom’s father attempted to use the Village to attain immortality. In doing so they corrupted the minds of the children they were supposed to be protecting, which catalyzed the unraveling of the three towns. Davis refused to return the children to the three towns as “damaged”. But the longer he hangs onto them, the worse things become.
The mayor explains how he uncovered a prophecy within the Village’s archives. It foretold that in the Village’s darkest hour an outsider would spark a reformation. He believed that person was Jennifer Poe. He was wrong. He now believes that person to be Tom Gareth, prompting him to invite Tom to join him. Tom refuses, and begs Davis to free Poe. Davis, insulted and clearly insane, informs Tom that Poe’s mind has been corrupted and must be liberated. He sees Tom’s rejection as another form of corruption and says, “You and your sister must be freed.”


The inhabitants of the Village drag Tom to a chamber where he sees his sister held captive. Tom escapes their grasps and engages Davis in a fight. The two battle for an extended period of time. In the end, Tom is forced to fire three rounds from the gun given to him by Anduine into Davis’s chest. In his final moments, Davis begs Tom for forgiveness. Tom holds Davis in his arms and remembers the pain his father caused; the lies he told; the children he kidnapped; the horrors he inflicted upon Jennifer Poe. Tom looks into the eyes of a dying man and imagines Lynette by his side, the only form of goodness in Tom’s hollow life. Snow begins to fall and Davis’s eyes flutter. Before the mayor takes his last breath Tom says, “You were doing what you thought was right. It was too much. I forgive you. Both of you.” Davis dies, and Tom wishes he had never found his way into his father’s basement.


The inhabitants drag Davis’s body into a freshly dug grave. Poe joins Tom and the two venture back to Anduine’s home, leaving the older children to manage the Village back to its previous state.


After recovering from near-fatal wounds, Tom and Poe are joined by Lynette, and the three make plans to return to New York. On their way out the door Anduine pulls Tom to the side and begs him to stay. “The prophecy foretold of a brother and sister arriving at the Village,” Anduine says. “Davis misinterpreted the archive. The two of you can make this place whole again.” Tom, suspicious of Anduine’s motives, interrogates the former mayor and learns that Anduine used Tom to have Davis killed, putting her in a prime position to retake her spot on the Village’s throne.


“So?” Anduine says. “It benefitted you. There was no other way. In the end you did what you had to do to save her life. Do you regret it?”
“Yes,” Tom says. “He’s dead because of me. Because of you.”


“It’s for the better.” She crosses her arms, blows a strand of hair away from her eyes and stares at him. Tom does not turn away. “I can’t deny what’s in the book, Tom. I believe, I know, that you and Jenn, only you and Jenn, can bring peace to this place. Make it whole again. I wish you’d reconsider.”


“We destroyed the map. You can’t even get back there.”


Anduine smiles. “There are always two, Tom. Always two. One to find the way, and another to find the way back. I’ll get there again.” Her smile fades. “Just like I’ll find a way to get you and Jenn back into that Village.”


“Don’t come after us.”


“Oh,” she says while opening the screen door and setting one foot into her house. “I won’t have to. Be seeing you.” She walks inside and gently closes the door behind her.


Tom finds his way to the path and catches up to Lynette and Jenn. The three venture back to New York City and stand before a Jersey swamp with the towers of Manhattan looming in the distance.


Tom looks down the field and into the gush of golden grass. A heavy sigh rushes from his body, puffing his cheeks, and separating his lips. The city looks beautiful in the distance; a beauty that will slowly fade with each step he takes toward it. Like the truth darkness brings with the fading sunlight. A truth he had come to understand, appreciate, and know. A truth he no longer feared to be a part of, but still refused to embrace.


They walk along the double lines of the broken highway, with neither fear nor hope, to a city that can do nothing to hurt them.

#2 Stephanie Diaz

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 10:49 PM

I meant to go through all of this and offer line-by-line edits, but it's taking a bit more time than I have at the moment. I've gone part-way through, as you will see below. My main piece of overall advice is to just remember that this is only a synopsis, so you don't have to include every single thing that happens. Many of the parts you mention can be condensed to a sentence or two. I'd avoid keeping direct quotations in, as there is usually a faster and more efficient way to explain what is said and what it means for the protagonist. Overall, this sounds like a very interesting story :)

THE VILLAGE TO THE LEFT OF SAGAMORE HILL is about Twenty-two-year-old TOM GARETH, who is confronted by a lone messenger at his father’s wake. Tom identifies his father’s handwriting as he reads the letter. “You have a half-sister,” it says. “Her name is JENNIFER POE. She has been taken by a man named Davis to a place called the Village to the Left. It’s a home that shelters abused children, but it’s so much more than that. Or at least it used to be. I saw miracles, real miracles, happen. Lives changed for the better.  I thought the Village would have helped Jenn. That it would have saved her like it saved others. But it’s a different place now.  Davis has refused to return Jenn and the other children who were selected. He told me that he would release Jenn if you, and you alone, entered the Village. I don’t know why he wants you there or what he needs you for, but those are his terms. I know we haven’t talked in years, but there’s nothing I can do now. Jennifer Poe is all you have left. Save her.” (I think you should cut out the specific dialogue and just explain that it turns out Tom has a half-sister. She is a captive in a place called the Village to the Left. Only Tom can get her back.)


Feeling guilty for turning his back on his abusive father for so many years, and desperate to learn if he really does have a lost sibling, young Gareth launches an impossible investigation that begins in his father’s home. Looking beyond the discarded clothes and cobwebs, Gareth spots notes and clues etched on every inch of hard surface. When pieced together the scribbles reveal not only Jennifer Poe's location, but the fact that Tom's father was directly involved in the kidnapping and cover-up. (You might be able to condense this, just saying, simply, how Tom finds clues in his father's [insert adjective] apartment, which point to his father's direct involvement in the kidnapping and cover-up. Also, I would also refer to Tom as "Tom," rather than "Gareth.")

Tom picks up where his father’s notes end. The last person to see Jennifer Poe was her boyfriend, the very large and violent Laurent Newton. Tom unwittingly enters the man’s apartment in the hopes of getting some questions answered. Things go terribly awry and genuine queries turn into a series of punches and screams. Somehow, Tom knocks the brute unconscious, ties him up, and tries to go through the interrogation a second time. Barely aware, Laurent is more amenable and not only confirms the reality of Jennifer Poe and her kidnapping, but gives up the information Tom needs to continue his search. (Again, trim everything but the first two sentences down to something simple, like: "Tom visits Laurent for questioning. The confrontation turns violent, but eventually he gets the information he needs."

Poe sent Laurent a series of letters that reveal more than Tom ever could have imagined. It turns out that his father belonged to a group that is using a mystical house to rob kidnapped children of their dreams. Before Tom leaves, Laurent offers one last piece of evidence: a book containing a map to the Village.

Armed only with a fake FBI badge and a broken compass that always points West, Tom recruits the aid of the beautiful LYNETTE, his only friend and unlikely foil. The duo journey from the streets of Manhattan to the peaks of Colorado where they must decipher a mystical map to enter a forgotten town with rivers of black waters and forests of dying trees. The pair are quickly captured, and nearly killed, by a man named TORRES, a sworn guardian of the Village to the Left. It is soon revealed, however, that Torres was an ally of Tom’s father, and. He not only releases the duo, but guides directs them through the forest to a woman called ANDUINE CRESCENT. them. “Move through the forest,” he tells Tom. “There you’ll find Anduine Crescent. She will help you.”


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#3 bkeats

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Posted 07 May 2011 - 09:32 AM

Stephanie has given you some great edits, matt. I'm also somewhat pressed for time, so I'm going to just pick up where she left off...

...Forced to leave Lynette behind, Tom follows a narrow path into Sagamore Hill. Once there, he enters a vintage bar and is confronted by a group of guardians locals, who beat the amateur sleuth to a pulp. Tom is Knocked unconscious, Tom. Later, he awakens to the scent of asparagus soup and chocolate rabbits. A quirky Anduine Crescent enters the room and describes how she saved Tom’s life.

The two talk, and Tom learns that Anduine was a former mayor of the Village to the Left (You described The Village to the Left earlier as a "home." Is it a building, or an actual village?) who resigned early after her poor judgment nearly ended the life of a child. The Village is a large house filled with green fires that purge nightmares from the minds of the those who inhabit it. For generations, children from the surrounding three towns were brought to the house to have their nightmares erased by the green flames. It was this practice that kept thosee three towns in an idyllic state (Just because the nightmares of their childrens' abuse has been erased? How does that make them idyllic? Those who abused the children are still there!) . But ever since Anduine turned over her title to Tom’s father and his mysterious partner DAVIS, life in the three towns have become a nightmare dystopian realm. Days are shorter, nights longer, winds colder, and all can hear the captured children screaming through the darkness. Tom’s father had brought Jennifer Poe to the Village in the hopes that she could somehow revitalize it, but her arrival only made things worse.

To learn Jennifer Poe's fate and discover the haunting realities of his father's past, Tom will have to infiltrate the Village, find Poe, and somehow escape. (Keep it in present tense) Anduine teaches Tom how to use a handgun, and he sets off with the weapon in tow. (Implied. Why else teach him?) Under the cover of darkness, Tom enters the mysterious, and unbelievably large house. He is met by a group of captured children who wish to see Davis overthrown. Tom learns that Davis, who currently controls the Village, (We already know this) stopped returning the children to the nearby towns supposedly to prevent them from being corrupted by outside influences. (This sentance adds nothing) “He wants to kill you,” one girl tells Tom. “He wants to kill Poe, too.” (Poe has been here for a long time. Why hasn't Davis killed her already?) The group leads Tom to the mayor’s office. Davis greets Tom as a friend.


Davis admits that he and Tom’s father attempted to use the Village to attain immortality. In doing so, they corrupted the minds of the children they were supposed to be protecting, which led to unraveling of the three towns, but the longer Davis hangs onto the children, the worse things become.

The mayor explains how he uncovered a prophecy within the Village’s archives. It foretold that in the Village’s darkest hour an outsider would spark a reformation. He thought that person was Jennifer Poe, but he now believes that person to be Tom Gareth, prompting him to invite Tom to join him. Tom refuses, and begs Davis to free Poe. Davis informs Tom that Poe’s mind has been corrupted and she must be liberated. He sees Tom’s rejection as another form of corruption and says, “You and your sister must be freed.” (Were the children wrong in saying Davis wanted Poe dead? If so, delete the whole section with them)

The inhabitants of the Village drag Tom to a chamber where he sees his sister held captive. Tom escapes their grasp and engages Davis in a fight. In the end, Tom is forced to shoot Davis. Dying, Davis begs Tom for forgiveness. Snow begins to fall (In the chamber?) and Tom says, “You were doing what you thought was right. It was too much. I forgive you. Both of you.” Davis dies, and Tom wishes he had never found his way into his father’s basement.

(While this is a good and dramatic scene, it has no place in a synopsis. Actually, NO SCENE belongs in a synopsis. You have a lot to summarize and dialogue, no matter how good, takes up a tremendous amount of wordage)

Poe joins Tom and the two venture back to Anduine’s home, leaving the older children to manage the Village back to its previous state.

After recovering from near-fatal wounds, Tom and Poe are joined by Lynette, and the three make plans to return to New York. On their way out the door, Anduine (Where did she come from?) pulls Tom to the side and begs him to stay. “The prophecy foretold of a brother and sister arriving at the Village,” Anduine says. “Davis misinterpreted the archive. The two of you can make this place whole again.” Tom, suspicious of Anduine’s motives, interrogates the former mayor and realizes that Anduine used Tom to have Davis killed, putting her in a prime position to retake her spot on the Village’s throne.

Even thugh Anduine insists it is in the best interest of the Village's children, Tom refuses, as he still regrets killing Davis. Anduin cryptically tells Tom he'll change his mind, but allows him to leave.

Tom catches up to Lynette and Poe (Don't alternate between calling her "Jenn" and "Poe"). The three return to New York City.


I know I've been brutal in my cuts, matt, but as I stated, don't put scenes from your manuscript "into" your synopsis. You've only got a thousand words or so to work with, and you'll wish for more, believe me.

Anyhoo, I like the story, and eagerly await your publication!

Happy Writing :smile:

#4 matt.thomas

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Posted 08 May 2011 - 04:23 PM

Stephanie,

Thank you soooo much for the excellent comments and suggestions. I truly appreciate it. I promise to put the same time and effort into your synopsis when I have the time (which should be tomorrow evening). Thanks again.

I meant to go through all of this and offer line-by-line edits, but it's taking a bit more time than I have at the moment. I've gone part-way through, as you will see below. My main piece of overall advice is to just remember that this is only a synopsis, so you don't have to include every single thing that happens. Many of the parts you mention can be condensed to a sentence or two. I'd avoid keeping direct quotations in, as there is usually a faster and more efficient way to explain what is said and what it means for the protagonist. Overall, this sounds like a very interesting story :)



#5 matt.thomas

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Posted 08 May 2011 - 04:25 PM

Thank you for all of the suggestions and comments. They were truly helpful. Please let me know if you're seeking comments for either a query letter or synopsis. I'd be happy to read them over and return the favor.

Stephanie has given you some great edits, matt. I'm also somewhat pressed for time, so I'm going to just pick up where she left off...



I know I've been brutal in my cuts, matt, but as I stated, don't put scenes from your manuscript "into" your synopsis. You've only got a thousand words or so to work with, and you'll wish for more, believe me.

Anyhoo, I like the story, and eagerly await your publication!

Happy Writing :smile:



#6 Stephanie Diaz

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Posted 08 May 2011 - 06:44 PM

You're welcome :) And ya know, I wouldn't worry about editing my synopsis, cause I think I've got it worked out pretty well. If you could check out my query letter that would be appreciated, though! :biggrin:

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#7 bkeats

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Posted 09 May 2011 - 07:15 AM

I too am always desperate for critiqus, on both synopsis and query, as they're taking forever to nail down! Thanks! :smile:

#8 matt.thomas

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Posted 10 May 2011 - 06:26 AM

Sure. I'll look at it tonight. Where is it posted?

You're welcome :) And ya know, I wouldn't worry about editing my synopsis, cause I think I've got it worked out pretty well. If you could check out my query letter that would be appreciated, though! :biggrin:


No problem. I'll check them both out later tonight.

I too am always desperate for critiqus, on both synopsis and query, as they're taking forever to nail down! Thanks! :smile:



#9 Stephanie Diaz

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Posted 10 May 2011 - 12:11 PM

Mine is under "Query Critiques" in the thread titled "Erhistaut (YA fantasy)" :)

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#10 bkeats

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Posted 10 May 2011 - 02:51 PM

My synopsis is right here in this forum, and my query is in the "Query Critique" forum, both listed under "Child God."

#11 matt.thomas

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Posted 11 May 2011 - 05:34 PM

Here's a revised version of my synopsis. Any takers?

One night while standing aloof in a snowstorm just after his father’s wake, 22 year-old TOM GARETH is confronted by a lone messenger. Tom recognizes the handwriting of his departed dad and reads the letter. It turns out Tom has a half-sister, a 22 year-old named JENNIFER POE. She is being held captive in a place called the Village to the Left. Only Tom can get her back.

Tom launches an impossible investigation that leads him to his father’s immaculate office. Clues turn up in the form of odd notes and bizarre items, which all point to his father’s direct involvement in the kidnapping of Jennifer Poe and its cover-up.

Tom picks up where his father’s notes ended. The last person to see Jennifer Poe was her boyfriend, the very large and irascible Laurent Newton. Tom visits Laurent in hopes of getting answers to some very large questions. The confrontation turns violent, but eventually Tom gets the information he needs.

It turns out that his father belonged to a group that is using a mystical house, dubbed the Village to the Left, to rob kidnapped children of their dreams. Before Tom leaves, Laurent offers one last piece of evidence: a key that will allow Tom to enter the Village.

Tom’s investigation continues, and additional clues lead him to the house of LYDIA POE, Jennifer Poe’s mother. Upon entering the house, Tom sees the place has been ransacked and realizes that whomever has Jennifer Poe is trying to cover his tracks. He walks out to the backyard where he finds the slashed body of Lydia Poe. The killer left her for dead, but she had enough left in her to unearth something: a map indicating the whereabouts of her daughter and the exact location of the mysterious Village. Tom takes the map, calls the police, and leaves before they arrive.

Armed only with a fake FBI badge and a broken compass that always points West, Tom recruits the aid of the beautiful LYNETTE, his only friend and unlikely foil. The duo journey from the streets of Manhattan to the peaks of Colorado where they must decipher the mystical map and use the key to enter a forgotten town with rivers of black waters and forests of dying trees.

The pair are quickly captured, and nearly killed, by a man named TORRES, a sworn guardian of the Village to the Left. It is soon revealed, however, that Torres was an ally of Tom’s father. He not only releases the duo, but directs them through the forest to a woman called ANDUINE CRESCENT.

Forced to leave Lynette behind, Tom follows a narrow path to Sagamore Hill. Once there, he enters a bar and is confronted by a group of locals, who beat the amateur sleuth to a pulp. Knocked unconscious, Tom awakens to the scent of asparagus soup and chocolate rabbits. Anduine Crescent enters and describes how she saved Tom’s life.

The two talk, and Tom learns that Anduine was a former mayor of the Village to the Left, who resigned after her poor judgment led to the death of a young man. The Village is actually a large house filled with green fires that purge nightmares from the minds of those who inhabit it. For generations, all residents from the surrounding towns were brought to the house to have their nightmares erased by the green flames. It was this practice that kept the towns in an idyllic state.

But ever since Anduine turned over her title to Tom’s father and his mysterious partner DAVIS, life in the towns have become a nightmare. Days are shorter, nights longer, winds colder, and all can hear the captured children screaming through the darkness. Tom’s father had brought Jennifer Poe to the Village in the hopes that she could somehow revitalize it, but her arrival only made things worse.

Anduine teaches Tom how to use a handgun, and he sets off. Under the cover of darkness, Tom enters the unbelievably large house. He is met by a group of captured children who wish to see Davis overthrown. The group leads Tom to the mayor’s office, where Davis greets him as a friend.

Davis not only admits to murdering Lydia Poe to ensure the Village’s secrecy, but that he and Tom’s father attempted to use the Village to attain immortality. They held the youngest residents of the surrounding towns captive believing their dreams would be the purest, and therefore most powerful. Doing so, however, inadvertently corrupted the minds of the residents they were supposed to be protecting, which led to the unraveling of the towns. The longer Davis hangs onto the children the worse things become.

The mayor explains how he uncovered a prophecy within the Village’s archives. It foretold that in the Village’s darkest hour an outsider would spark a reformation. He thought that person to be Jennifer Poe, but now believes Tom is the Village’s savior. Tom refuses the title, and begs Davis to free Jennifer Poe. Davis informs Tom that her mind has been corrupted and she must be “liberated”. He sees Tom’s rejection as another form of corruption, and has a group of older residents restrain him.

The inhabitants of the Village drag Tom to a chamber where he sees his sister held captive. Davis moves toward her with a syringe in hand. He means to end Jennifer Poe’s life. Tom escapes those holding him and engages Davis in a fight. In the end, Tom is forced to shoot Davis. Dying, Davis begs Tom for forgiveness. Tom thinks of Lynette, the only symbol of goodness in his life, and forgives Davis for his terrible actions.

The residents of the Village cremate Davis’s body as a delirious Jennifer Poe joins Tom outside. The two venture back to Anduine’s home, leaving the residents to manage the mysterious Village, and its surrounding towns, back to its previous state.

After recovering from near-fatal wounds in the safety of Anduine Crescent’s home, Tom and Jennifer Poe are joined by Lynette, and the three make plans to return to New York. On their way out the door, Anduine pulls Tom to the side and begs him to stay. Tom, suspicious of Anduine’s motives, interrogates the former mayor and realizes that Anduine used him to have Davis killed, putting her in a prime position to retake her spot on the Village’s throne.

Even though Anduine insists it is in the best interest of the Village's children, Tom refuses, as he still regrets killing Davis. Anduine cryptically tells Tom he'll change his mind, but allows him to leave.

Tom catches up to Lynette and Jennifer Poe. The three return to New York City.

#12 matt.thomas

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Posted 14 May 2011 - 04:30 PM

HERE'S ANOTHER REVISION. I COULD REALLY USE SOME FEEDBACK ON THIS ONE AND WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO RETURN THE FAVOR.

All TOM GARETH wanted was to hear his father say, “I’m sorry.” But the old man died, and instead of leaving his son with a sense of closure gave him a letter. Tom learns he has a half-sister, a 22 year-old named JENNIFER POE. She is being held captive in a place called the Village to the Left. Only Tom can get her back.

Determined to prove himself to his departed dad, and carve out an identity of his own, Tom begins searching his father’s office. Clues turn up in the form of odd notes and bizarre items, which all point to his father’s direct involvement in the kidnapping of Jennifer Poe, and its cover-up.

The last person to see Jennifer Poe was her boyfriend, the very large and irascible Laurent Newton. Tom visits Laurent in hopes of getting answers. The confrontation turns violent, but eventually Tom gets the information he needs.

It turns out that his father belonged to a group that is using a mystical house, dubbed the Village to the Left, to rob kidnapped children of their dreams in an effort to gain immortality. Before Tom leaves, Laurent offers one last piece of evidence: a key that will allow Tom to enter the Village.

Tom’s investigation continues, and additional clues lead him to the house of LYDIA POE, Jennifer Poe’s mother. The household has been ransacked, and Tom knows that the living kidnappers are trying to cover their tracks. He walks out to the backyard where he finds the slashed body of Lydia Poe. The killer left her for dead, but she had enough left in her to unearth something: a map indicating the whereabouts of her daughter and the exact location of the mysterious Village.

Convinced that Poe will die without his help, Tom makes a promise to the dead mother that he will not allow Jennifer Poe to be forgotten the way he was by his own family. Tom takes the map, calls the police, and leaves before they arrive.

Tom recruits the aid of the beautiful LYNETTE, his only friend and unlikely foil, who has been abandoned by her father and longtime boyfriend. During their journey to Colorado the duo begin to fall in love, and become increasingly intrigued by the dual mystery of Jennifer Poe and the Village to the Left.

After deciphering the mystical map, the pair follow a path of purple light to a remote location where a solitary gate of iron stands in the center of a forest. They use the key to open that gate and enter a forgotten town with rivers of black waters and woodlands of dying trees.

The pair are quickly captured, and nearly killed, by a man named TORRES, a sworn guardian of the Village to the Left. It is soon revealed, however, that Torres was an ally of Tom’s father. He not only releases the duo, but directs them through the woods to a woman called ANDUINE CRESCENT.

Forced to leave Lynette behind, Tom follows a narrow path to place called Sagamore Hill. Once there, he enters a bar and is confronted by a group of locals who beat the amateur sleuth to a pulp. Knocked unconscious, Tom awakens to the scent of asparagus soup and chocolate rabbits. Anduine Crescent enters, and describes how she saved Tom’s life.

The two talk, and Tom learns that Anduine was a former mayor of the Village to the Left who resigned after her poor judgment led to the death of a young man. The Village is actually a large house filled with green fires that purge nightmares from the minds of those who inhabit it. For generations, all residents from the surrounding towns were brought to the house to have their nightmares erased by the green flames. It was this practice that kept the towns in an idyllic state.

But ever since Anduine turned over her title to Tom’s father, and a man named DECLAN DAVIS, life in the towns have become a nightmare. Tom’s father had brought Jennifer Poe to the Village in the hopes that the girl’s untainted dreams could somehow revitalize it, but her arrival only made things worse.

Anduine teaches Tom how to use a handgun, and he sets off. Under the cover of darkness, Tom enters the unbelievably large house. He is met by a group of captured children who wish to see Davis overthrown. The group leads Tom to the mayor’s office, where Declan Davis greets him as a friend.

Davis not only admits to murdering Lydia Poe to ensure the Village’s secrecy, but that he and Tom’s father attempted to use the Village to attain immortality. They held the youngest residents of the surrounding towns captive believing their dreams would be the purest, and therefore most powerful. Doing so, however, inadvertently corrupted the minds of the residents they were supposed to be protecting, which led to the unraveling of the towns. The longer Davis hangs onto the children the worse things become.

The mayor explains how he uncovered a prophecy within the Village’s archives. It foretold that in the Village’s darkest hour an outsider would spark a reformation. He thought that person to be Jennifer Poe, but now believes Tom is the Village’s savior. Tom refuses the title, and begs Davis to free Jennifer Poe. Davis informs Tom that her mind has been corrupted and she must be “liberated”. He sees Tom’s rejection as another form of corruption, and has a group of older residents restrain him.

The inhabitants of the Village drag Tom to a chamber where he sees his sister held captive. Davis moves toward her with a syringe in hand. He means to end Jennifer Poe’s life. Tom escapes those holding him and engages Davis in a fight. To save the life of his sister, as well as his own, Tom is forced to shoot Davis. Dying, Davis begs Tom for forgiveness. Tom thinks of Lynette, the only symbol of goodness in his life, and forgives Davis for his terrible actions.

The residents of the Village cremate Davis’s body as a delirious Jennifer Poe joins Tom outside. The two venture back to Anduine’s home, leaving the residents to manage the Village, and its surrounding towns, back to its previous state.

After recovering from near-fatal wounds in the safety of Anduine Crescent’s home, Tom and Jennifer Poe are joined by Lynette, and the three make plans to return to New York. On their way out the door, Anduine pulls Tom to the side and begs him to stay. Tom, suspicious of Anduine’s motives, interrogates the former mayor and realizes that Anduine used him to have Davis killed, putting her in a prime position to retake her spot on the Village’s throne.

Even though Anduine insists it is in the best interest of the Village's children, Tom refuses, as he still regrets killing Davis. Anduine cryptically tells Tom he'll change his mind, but allows him to leave.

Tom catches up to Lynette and Jennifer Poe. The three return to New York City.

#13 Stephanie Diaz

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Posted 14 May 2011 - 04:45 PM

All TOM GARETH wanted was to hear his father say, “I’m sorry.” But the old man died, and instead of leaving his son with a sense of closure, he gave him a letter. Tom learns he has a half-sister, a 22 year-old named JENNIFER POE. She is being held captive in a place called the Village to the Left. Only Tom can get her back.

Determined to prove himself to his departed dad, and carve out an identity of his own, Tom begins searching his father’s office. Clues turn up in the form of odd notes and bizarre items, which all point to his father’s direct involvement in the kidnapping of Jennifer Poe, and its cover-up.

The last person to see Jennifer Poe was her boyfriend, the very large and irascible Laurent Newton (capitalize name). Tom visits Laurent in hopes of getting answers. The confrontation turns violent, but eventually Tom gets the information he needs.

It turns out that his father belonged to a group that is using a mystical house, dubbed the Village to the Left, to rob kidnapped children of their dreams in an effort to gain immortality. Before Tom leaves, Laurent offers one last piece of evidence: a key that will allow Tom to enter the Village.

Tom’s investigation continues, and additional clues lead him to the house of LYDIA POE, Jennifer Poe’s mother. The household has been ransacked, and Tom knows that the living kidnappers are trying to cover their tracks. He walks out to the backyard where he finds the slashed body of Lydia Poe. The killer left her for dead, but she had enough left in her to unearth something: a map indicating the whereabouts of her daughter and the exact location of the mysterious Village.

Convinced that Poe Jennifer will die without his help, Tom makes a promise to the dead mother that he will not allow Jennifer Poe to be forgotten the way he was by his own family. Tom takes the map, calls the police, and leaves before they arrive.

Tom recruits the aid of the beautiful LYNETTE, his only friend and unlikely foil, who has been abandoned by her father and longtime boyfriend. During their journey to Colorado the duo begin to fall in love, and become increasingly intrigued by the dual mystery of Jennifer Poe and the Village to the Left.

After deciphering the mystical map, the pair follow a path of purple light to a remote location where a solitary gate of iron stands in the center of a forest. They use the key to open that gate and enter a forgotten town with rivers of black waters and woodlands of dying trees.

The pair are quickly captured, and nearly killed, by a man named TORRES, a sworn guardian of the Village to the Left. It is soon revealed, however, that Torres was an ally of Tom’s father. He not only releases the duo, but directs them through the woods to a woman called ANDUINE CRESCENT.

Forced to leave Lynette behind, Tom follows a narrow path to place called Sagamore Hill. Once there, he enters a bar and is confronted by a group of locals who beat the amateur sleuth to a pulp. Knocked unconscious, Tom awakens to the scent of asparagus soup and chocolate rabbits. Anduine Crescent enters, and describes how she saved Tom’s life. (I think you can leave out the specifics of how he finds her and just say "He finds Anduine and the two talk...")

The two talk, and Tom learns that Anduine was a former mayor of the Village to the Left who resigned after her poor judgment led to the death of a young man. The Village is actually a large house filled with green fires that purge nightmares from the minds of those who inhabit it. For generations, all residents from the surrounding towns were brought to the house to have their nightmares erased by the green flames. It was this practice that kept the towns in an idyllic state.

But ever since Anduine turned over her title to Tom’s father, and a man named DECLAN DAVIS, life in the towns have has become a nightmare. Tom’s father had brought Jennifer Poe to the Village in the hopes that the girl’s untainted dreams could somehow revitalize it, but her arrival only made things worse.

Anduine teaches Tom how to use a handgun, and he sets off. Under the cover of darkness, Tom enters the unbelievably large house. He is met by a group of captured children who wish to see Davis overthrown. The group leads Tom to the mayor’s office, where Declan Davis greets him as a friend.

Davis not only admits to murdering Lydia Poe to ensure the Village’s secrecy, but that he and Tom’s father attempted to use the Village to attain immortality. They held the youngest residents of the surrounding towns captive believing their dreams would be the purest, and therefore most powerful. Doing so, however, inadvertently corrupted the minds of the residents they were supposed to be protecting, which led to the unraveling of the towns. The longer Davis hangs onto the children the worse things become.

The mayor explains how he uncovered a prophecy within the Village’s archives. It foretold that in the Village’s darkest hour an outsider would spark a reformation. He thought that person to be Jennifer Poe, but now believes Tom is the Village’s savior. Tom refuses the title, and begs Davis to free Jennifer Poe. Davis informs Tom that her mind has been corrupted and she must be “liberated”. He sees Tom’s rejection as another form of corruption, and has a group of older residents restrain him.

The inhabitants of the Village drag Tom to a chamber where he sees his sister held captive. Davis moves toward her with a syringe in hand. He means to end Jennifer Poe’s life. Tom escapes those holding him and engages Davis in a fight. To save the life of his sister, as well as his own, Tom is forced to shoot Davis. Dying, Davis begs Tom for forgiveness. Tom thinks of Lynette, the only symbol of goodness in his life, and forgives Davis for his terrible actions.

The residents of the Village cremate Davis’s body as a delirious Jennifer Poe joins Tom outside. The two venture back to Anduine’s home, leaving the residents to manage the Village, and its surrounding towns, back to its previous state.

After recovering from near-fatal wounds in the safety of Anduine Crescent’s home, Tom and Jennifer Poe are joined by Lynette, and the three make plans to return to New York. On their way out the door, Anduine pulls Tom to the side and begs him to stay. Tom, suspicious of Anduine’s motives, interrogates the former mayor and realizes that Anduine used him to have Davis killed, putting her in a prime position to retake her spot on the Village’s throne.

Even though Anduine insists it is in the best interest of the Village's children, Tom refuses, as he still regrets killing Davis. Anduine cryptically tells Tom he'll change his mind, but allows him to leave.

Tom catches up to Lynette and Jennifer Poe. The three return to New York City.


This is much better. I'm not sure how high the word count is, though. You might want to think about whether there is more detail here than necessary, if you want to narrow it down. A synopsis doesn't have to go into a crazy amount of detail--just enough to show the introduction, conflict, and resolution of the plot in an enticing manner. But you've done a pretty good job with this :)

It would actually be awesome if you could check out my "Erhistaut" synopsis in this same forum, if you have any suggestions for it! Thanks.

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#14 matt.thomas

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Posted 15 May 2011 - 09:37 PM

Thanks, Stephanie. Your comments are always helpful. Any suggestions for cuts?



All TOM GARETH wanted was to hear his father say, “I’m sorry.” But the old man died, and instead of leaving his son with a sense of closure left him a letter. Tom learns he has a half-sister, a 22 year-old named JENNIFER POE. She is being held captive in a place called the Village to the Left. Only Tom can get her back.

Determined to prove himself to his departed dad, and carve out an identity of his own, Tom begins searching his father’s office. Clues turn up in the form of odd notes and bizarre items, which all point to his father’s direct involvement in the kidnapping of Jennifer Poe, and its cover-up.

The last person to see Jennifer Poe was her boyfriend, the very large and irascible LAURENT NEWTON. Tom visits Laurent in hopes of getting answers. The confrontation turns violent, but eventually Tom gets the information he needs.

It turns out that his father belonged to a group that is using a mystical house, dubbed the Village to the Left, to rob kidnapped children of their dreams in an effort to gain immortality. Before Tom leaves, Laurent offers one last piece of evidence: a key that will allow Tom to enter the Village.

Tom’s investigation continues, and additional clues lead him to the house of LYDIA POE, Jennifer Poe’s mother. The household has been ransacked, and Tom knows that the living kidnappers are trying to cover their tracks. He walks out to the backyard where he finds the slashed body of Lydia Poe. The killer left her for dead, but she had enough left in her to unearth something: a map indicating the whereabouts of her daughter and the exact location of the mysterious Village.

Convinced that Jennifer will die without his help, Tom takes the map, calls the police, and leaves before they arrive.

Tom recruits the aid of the beautiful LYNETTE, his only friend and unlikely foil, who has been abandoned by her father and longtime boyfriend. During their journey to Colorado the duo begin to fall in love, and become increasingly intrigued by the dual mystery of Jennifer Poe and the Village to the Left.

After deciphering the mystical map, the pair follow a path of purple light to a remote location where a solitary gate of iron stands in the center of a forest. They use the key to open that gate and enter a forgotten town with rivers of black waters and woodlands of dying trees.

The pair are quickly captured, and nearly killed, by a man named TORRES, a sworn guardian of the Village to the Left. It is soon revealed, however, that Torres was an ally of Tom’s father. He not only releases the duo, but directs them through the woods to a woman called ANDUINE CRESCENT.

Forced to leave Lynette behind, Tom finds Anduine and the two talk. Tom learns that Anduine was a former mayor of the Village to the Left who resigned after her poor judgment led to the death of a young man. The Village is actually a large house filled with green fires that purge nightmares from the minds of those who inhabit it. For generations, all residents from the surrounding towns were brought to the house to have their nightmares erased by the green flames. It was this practice that kept the towns in an idyllic state.

But ever since Anduine turned over her title to Tom’s father, and a man named DECLAN DAVIS, life in the towns has become a nightmare. Tom’s father had brought Jennifer Poe to the Village in the hopes that the girl’s untainted dreams could somehow revitalize it, but her arrival only made things worse.

Anduine teaches Tom how to use a handgun, and he sets off. Under the cover of darkness, Tom enters the unbelievably large house. He is met by a group of captured children who wish to see Davis overthrown. The group leads Tom to the mayor’s office, where Declan Davis greets him as a friend.

Davis not only admits to murdering Lydia Poe to ensure the Village’s secrecy, but that he and Tom’s father attempted to use the Village to attain immortality. The longer Davis hangs onto the captured children the worse things become.

Davis invites Tom to become his successor, but Tom refuses. Davis sees the rejection as an act of mutiny and has a group of older residents restrain Tom.

The inhabitants of the Village drag Tom to a chamber where he sees his sister held captive. Davis moves toward her with a syringe in hand. He means to end Jennifer Poe’s life. Tom escapes those holding him and engages Davis in a fight. To save the life of his sister, as well as his own, Tom is forced to shoot Davis. Dying, Davis begs for forgiveness. Tom thinks of Lynette, the only symbol of goodness in his life, and forgives Davis for his terrible actions.

The residents of the Village cremate Davis’s body as a delirious Jennifer Poe joins Tom outside. The two venture back to Anduine’s home, leaving the residents to manage the Village, and its surrounding towns, back to its previous state.

After recovering from near-fatal wounds in the safety of Anduine Crescent’s home, Tom and Jennifer Poe are joined by Lynette, and the three make plans to return to New York. On their way out the door, Anduine pulls Tom to the side and begs him to stay. Tom, suspicious of Anduine’s motives, interrogates the former mayor and realizes that Anduine used him to have Davis killed, putting her in a prime position to retake her spot on the Village’s throne.

Even though Anduine insists it is in the best interest of the Village's children, Tom refuses, as he still regrets killing Davis. Anduine cryptically tells Tom he'll change his mind, but allows him to leave.

Tom catches up to Lynette and Jennifer Poe. The three return to New York City.

#15 bkeats

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Posted 21 May 2011 - 11:02 AM

Snip, snip. :cool:

All TOM GARETH wanted was to hear his father say, “I’m sorry.” But the old man dies instead, and instead of leaving his son with a sense of closure, leaves him only a letter. Tom learns he has a half-sister, a 22 year-old named JENNIFER POE. She is being held captive in a place called the Village to the Left, and the letter states that only Tom can get her back.

Determined to prove himself to his departed dad and carve out an identity of his own, Tom begins searching his father’s office. Clues turn up in the form of odd notes and bizarre items, which all point to his father’s direct involvement in the kidnapping of Jennifer Poe and its cover-up.

The last person to see Jennifer Poe was her boyfriend, the very large and irascible LAURENT NEWTON. Tom visits Laurent in hopes of getting answers. The confrontation turns violent, but Eventually Tom gets the information he needs. It turns out that his father belonged to a group that is using a mystical house, dubbed the Village to the Left, to rob kidnapped children of their dreams in an effort to gain immortality. Before Tom leaves, Laurent offers a gift one last piece of evidence: a key that will allow Tom to enter the Village. (Is the Village walled? Is it completely isolated from the outside world? If Laurent had the key, why didn't he try to rescue Jennifer?)

Tom’s investigation continues, and Additional clues lead him to the house of LYDIA POE, Jennifer Poe’s mother. The house is empty, ransacked. hold has been ransacked, and Tom knows that the living kidnappers are trying to cover their tracks. He walks out to In the backyard, where he finds the slashed body of Lydia Poe. The killer left her for dead, but she survived long had enough left in her to unearth something: a map indicating the whereabouts of her daughter and the exact location of the mysterious Village.

Convinced that Jennifer will die without his help, Tom takes the map, calls the police, and leaves before they arrive.

Tom recruits the aid of the beautiful LYNETTE, his only friend and unlikely foil, who has been abandoned by her father and longtime boyfriend. During their journey to Colorado the duo begin to fall in love, and become increasingly intrigued by the dual mystery of Jennifer Poe and the Village to the Left.

After deciphering the mystical map, the pair follow a path of purple light to a remote location where a solitary gate of iron stands in the center of a forest. They use the key to open that gate and enter a forgotten town with rivers of black waters and woodlands of dying trees.

The pair are quickly captured, and nearly killed, by a man named TORRES, a sworn guardian of the Village to the Left. They then discover It is soon revealed, however, that Torres was an ally of Tom’s father. He not only releases the duo, but directs them through the woods to a woman called ANDUINE CRESCENT. (Tom's father was the one who kidnapped Jennifer. If Torres was his ally, why would he help the people who are trying to free her? Did he know about Tom's father's change of heart?)

Forced to leave Lynette behind, Tom finds Anduine and the two talk. Tom learns that Anduine was a former mayor of the Village to the Left who resigned after her poor judgment led to the death of a young man. The Village is actually a large house filled with green fires that purge nightmares from the minds of those who inhabit it. For generations, all residents from the surrounding towns were brought to the house to have their nightmares erased by the green flames. It was this practice that kept the towns in an idyllic state.(While having your nightmares purged is great, I don't see how an "idyllic state" follows.)

But ever since Anduine turned over her title to Tom’s father and a man named DECLAN DAVIS, (Both of them were mayor at the same time?) life in the towns has become a nightmare. (In what way?)Tom’s father had brought Jennifer Poe to the Village in the hopes that the girl’s untainted dreams could somehow revitalize it, but her arrival only made things worse. (Again, you need to explain, because without further information, this doesn't logically follow)

Anduine teaches Tom how to use a handgun, and he sets off. Under the cover of darkness, Tom enters the unbelievably large house. He is met by a group of captured children who wish to see Davis overthrown. The group leads Tom to the mayor’s office, where Declan Davis greets him as a friend.

Davis not only admits to murdering Lydia Poe to ensure the Village’s secrecy, but that he and Tom’s father attempted to use the Village to attain immortality. The longer Davis hangs onto the captured children, the worse things become.

Davis invites Tom to become his successor, but Tom refuses. Davis sees the rejection as an act of mutiny and has a group of older residents restrain Tom.

The inhabitants of the Village drag Tom to a chamber where he sees his sister held captive. Davis moves toward her with a syringe in hand. He means to end Jennifer Poe’s life. Why? If her arrival "made things worse," wouldn't that mean that Davis is closer to immortality?) Tom escapes those holding him and engages Davis in a fight. To save the life of his sister, as well as his own, Tom is forced to shoot Davis. Dying, Davis begs for forgiveness. Tom thinks of Lynette, the only symbol of goodness in his life, and forgives Davis for his terrible actions.

The residents of the Village cremate Davis’s body as a delirious Jennifer Poe joins Tom outside. The two venture back to Anduine’s home, leaving the residents to manage the Village, and its surrounding towns, back to its previous state.

After recovering from near-fatal wounds in the safety of Anduine Crescent’s home, Tom and Jennifer Poe are joined by Lynette, and the three make plans to return to New York. On their way out the door, Anduine pulls Tom to the side and begs him to stay. Tom, suspicious of Anduine’s motives, interrogates the former mayor and realizes that Anduine used him to have Davis killed, putting her in a prime position to retake her spot on the Village’s throne. Then why did she give it up in the first place? And besides, if everyone was happy when Anduine was mayor, what's the big deal?) Even though Anduine insists it is in the best interest of the Village's children, Tom refuses, as he still regrets killing Davis. Anduine cryptically tells Tom he'll change his mind, but allows him to leave.

Tom catches up to Lynette and Jennifer Poe. The three return to New York City. (I didn't know that's where they came from)



#16 matt.thomas

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Posted 17 June 2011 - 08:28 PM

HERE'S THE LATEST SYNOPSIS. I think it's close, but I'd like to get it a little tighter before I send out my first round of queries. Let me know what you think and if you need me to take a look at your stuff. Thanks for the time and help!



All TOM GARETH wants is to hear his father say, “I’m sorry.” But the old man dies and instead of leaving his son with a sense of closure, leaves a letter. Tom learns he has a half-sister, a 22 year-old named JENNIFER POE. She is being held captive in a place called the Village to the Left. Only Tom can get her back.

Determined to prove his worth to the abusive father he never knew, and carve out an identity of his own, Tom begins a makeshift investigation by searching his father’s office. Clues turn up in the form of odd notes and bizarre items, which all point to his father’s direct involvement in the kidnapping of Jennifer Poe and its cover-up.

The last person to see Jennifer Poe was her boyfriend, the very large and irascible LAURENT NEWTON. Tom visits Laurent and, after a violent confrontation, gets the information he needs. It turns out his father belonged to a group that used a mystical and isolated house, dubbed the Village to the Left, to rob kidnapped children of their dreams in an effort to gain immortality. Before Tom leaves, Laurent offers a gift: a key that will allow Tom to enter the Village.

Additional clues lead Tom to the house of LYDIA POE, Jennifer’s mother. The house is empty, ransacked. In the backyard he finds the slashed body of Lydia Poe. The killer left her for dead, but she survived long enough to unearth a map indicating the exact location of the Village to the Left, which Tom learns is hidden from the naked eye. The map is not only a guide, but a lens that allows its holder to see the Village.

Tom recruits the aid of the beautiful LYNETTE, his only friend and unlikely foil, who has been abandoned by her father and longtime boyfriend. During their journey from New York to Colorado the duo begin to fall in love, and Tom finally develops a sense of happiness.

After deciphering the mystical map, the pair follow a path of purple light to a remote location where a solitary gate of iron stands in the center of a forest. They use the key to open that gate and enter a forgotten town with rivers of black waters and woodlands of dying trees.

The pair are quickly captured, and nearly killed, by a man named TORRES, a sworn guardian of the Village to the Left. It is soon revealed, however, that Torres was an ally of Tom’s father who knew of the old man's regrets, fears, and sudden change of heart. He not only releases the duo, but directs them through the woods to a woman called ANDUINE CRESCENT.

Forced to leave Lynette behind, Tom finds Anduine and the two talk. Tom learns that Anduine was a former mayor of the Village to the Left who resigned after her poor judgment led to the death of a young man. She was shunned by other villagers and forced into a life of seclusion. The Village is actually a large house filled with green fires that purge nightmares from the minds of those who inhabit it. For generations, all residents from the surrounding towns were brought to the house to have their nightmares erased by the green flames. It was this practice that kept the towns in an idyllic state.

But ever since Anduine turned over her title to Tom’s father and a man named DECLAN DAVIS, life in the towns has become a nightmare. Days are shorter, nights longer, and children's cries can be heard through the darkness. Tom’s father had brought Jennifer Poe to the Village hoping the girl’s untainted dreams could somehow revitalise it, but her arrival made the nightmares of all villagers more potent, which blackened the rivers and killed the trees.

Anduine teaches Tom how to use a handgun, and he sets off. Under the cover of night, Tom finds and enters the house of nightmares. He is met by a group of captured children who wish to see Davis overthrown. The group leads Tom to the mayor’s office, where Declan Davis greets him as a friend.

Davis not only admits to murdering Lydia Poe to ensure the Village’s secrecy, but that he and Tom’s father attempted to use the Village to attain immortality. Davis hangs onto the captured residents hoping their nightmares will fade and life will return to the rivers and trees, but the decay and darkness only spread further.

Believing Tom is destined to restore the Village to its previous state, Davis offers him the position of "partner" along with the promise of immortality, but Tom refuses. Davis sees the rejection as an act of mutiny and has a group of older residents restrain him.

The inhabitants of the Village drag Tom to a chamber where he sees his sister held captive. Davis moves toward her with a syringe in hand. He means to end Jennifer Poe’s life. Tom escapes those holding him and engages Davis in a fight. In the terrible fray, Tom shoots Davis. Dying, Davis begs for forgiveness. Tom thinks of Lynette, the only symbol of goodness in his life, and exculpates Davis for his terrible actions.

The residents of the Village cremate Davis’s body as a delirious Jennifer Poe joins Tom outside. The two venture back to Anduine’s home, leaving the residents to restore the Village, and its surrounding towns, back to its former glory.

After recovering from near-fatal wounds, Tom and Jennifer Poe are joined by Lynette, and the three make plans to return to New York. On their way out the door, Anduine pulls Tom to the side and begs him to stay. Tom, suspicious of Anduine’s motives, interrogates the former mayor and realizes that Anduine used him to have Davis killed, putting her in a prime position to retake her spot on the Village’s throne and gain another shot at immortality. Even though Anduine insists it is in the best interest of the Village's children, Tom refuses, as he still regrets killing Davis. Anduine cryptically tells Tom he'll change his mind, but allows him to leave.

Tom catches up to Lynette and Jennifer Poe. The three return to New York City.

#17 Moonshade

Moonshade

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Posted 23 June 2011 - 01:07 AM

All TOM GARETH wants is to hear his father say, “I’m sorry.” But the old man dies and instead of leaving his son with a sense of closure, he leaves a letter. Tom learns he has a half-sister, a 22 year-old named JENNIFER POE. She is being held captive in a place called the Village to the Left. Only Tom can get her back.

Determined to prove his worth to the abusive father he never knew, and carve out an identity of his own, I would switch these two clauses Tom begins a makeshift investigation by searching his father’s office. Clues turn up in the form of odd notes and bizarre items, which all point to his father’s direct involvement in the kidnapping of Jennifer Poe and its cover-up.

The last person to see Jennifer Poe was her boyfriend, the very large and irascible LAURENT NEWTON. Tom visits Laurent and, after a violent confrontation, gets the information he needs. It turns out his father belonged to a group that used a mystical and isolated house, dubbed the Village to the Left, to rob kidnapped children of their dreams in an effort to gain immortality. Before Tom leaves, Laurent offers a gift: a key that will allow Tom to enter the Village.

Additional clues lead Tom to the house of LYDIA POE, Jennifer’s mother. The house is empty, ransacked. Perhaps "But when he arrives the house is ransacked. In the backyard he finds the slashed body of Lydia Poe. The killer left her for dead, but she survived long enough to unearth a map indicating the exact location of the Village to the Left, which Tom learns is hidden from the naked eye. The map is not only a guide, but a lens that allows its holder to see the Village.

Tom recruits the aid of the beautiful LYNETTE, his only friend and unlikely foil, who has been abandoned by her father and longtime boyfriend. During their journey from New York to Colorado the duo begin to fall in love, and Tom finally develops a sense of happiness.

After deciphering the mystical map, the pair follow a path of purple light to a remote location where a solitary gate of iron stands in the center of a forest. They use the key to open that gate and enter a forgotten town with rivers of black waters and woodlands of dying trees.

The pair are quickly captured, and nearly killed, by a man named TORRES, a sworn guardian of the Village to the Left. It is soon revealed, however, that Torres was an ally of Tom’s father who knew of the old man's regrets, fears, and sudden change of heart. He not only releases the duo, but directs them through the woods to a woman called ANDUINE CRESCENT.

Forced to leave Lynette behind, Tom finds Anduine and the two talk. Tom learns that Anduine was a former mayor of the Village to the Left who resigned after her poor judgment led to the death of a young man. She was shunned by other villagers and forced into a life of seclusion. The Village is actually a large house filled with green fires that purge nightmares from the minds of those who inhabit it. For generations, all residents from the surrounding towns were brought to the house to have their nightmares erased by the green flames. It was this practice that kept the towns in an idyllic state.

But ever since Anduine turned over her title to Tom’s father and a man named DECLAN DAVIS, life in the towns has become a nightmare. Days are shorter, nights longer, and children's cries can be heard through the darkness. Tom’s father had brought Jennifer Poe to the Village hoping the girl’s untainted dreams could somehow revitalise it, but her arrival made the nightmares of all villagers more potent, which blackened the rivers and killed the trees.

Anduine teaches Tom how to use a handgun, and he sets off. Under the cover of night, Tom finds and enters the house of nightmares. He is met by a group of captured children who wish to see Davis overthrown. The group leads Tom to the mayor’s office, where Declan Davis greets him as a friend.

Davis not only admits to murdering Lydia Poe to ensure the Village’s secrecy, but that he and Tom’s father attempted to use the Village to attain immortality. Davis hangs onto the captured residents hoping their nightmares will fade and life will return to the rivers and trees, but the decay and darkness only spread further.

Believing Tom is destined to restore the Village to its previous state, Davis offers him the position of "partner" along with the promise of immortality, but Tom refuses. Davis sees the rejection as an act of mutiny and has a group of older residents restrain him.

The inhabitants of the Village drag Tom to a chamber where he sees his sister held captive. Davis moves toward her with a syringe in hand. He means to end Jennifer Poe’s life. Tom escapes those holding him and engages Davis in a fight. In the terrible fray, Tom shoots Davis. Dying, Davis begs for forgiveness. Tom thinks of Lynette, the only symbol of goodness in his life, and exculpates Davis for his terrible actions.

The residents of the Village cremate Davis’s body as a delirious Jennifer Poe joins Tom outside. The two venture back to Anduine’s home, leaving the residents to restore the Village, and its surrounding towns, back to its former glory.

After recovering from near-fatal wounds, Tom and Jennifer Poe are joined by Lynette, and the three make plans to return to New York. On their way out the door, Anduine pulls Tom to the side and begs him to stay. Tom, suspicious of Anduine’s motives, interrogates the former mayor and realizes that Anduine used him to have Davis killed, putting her in a prime position to retake her spot on the Village’s throne and gain another shot at immortality. Even though Anduine insists it is in the best interest of the Village's children, Tom refuses, as he still regrets killing Davis. Anduine cryptically tells Tom he'll change his mind, but allows him to leave.

Tom catches up to Lynette and Jennifer Poe. The three return to New York City.


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