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Description (Back of the book)

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#1 thom71gt


    Author of the Covert World anthology

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Posted 26 August 2015 - 09:30 AM

I always HATE this part. I can write a hundred thousand words, no problem, but to now describe that in a few short paragraphs, NIGHTMARE!!!


Anyway, please look at this description and let me know what you think. Also, could I possibly use this in a query letter?


Thanks in advance.



When it is discovered that weapons used to kill U.S. border guards came from a once tolerated gun dealer, former Cuban General, Hector Vasquez, the CIA is forced to send their most lethal weapon, covert operative Blake MacKay, to take him out.


After a tedious and pain staking effort gaining the general’s trust through his daughter, Adriana, Blake gets close enough to make his move, only to be discovered at the final moment. Killing the general and barely escaping with his life, Blake uncovers a much deeper plot; a deadly weapon called Metal Storm, an Al Qaeda weapons dealer and a traitor inside his own organization.


Meanwhile, a coup is brewing in what is considered Europe’s last dictatorship. Prime Minister Oleg Shorets is planning on using Metal Storm to fake a terrorist attack and kill the Belarusian president, along with thousands of innocent civilians and blame it on Al Qaeda.


Blake slowly unravels the mystery, but is blocked at nearly every step with trap after trap set by the unknown traitor. Only one person can help him decipher all he’s discovered; the daughter of the man he just murdered. Will she help Blake solve the mystery, stop the attack and uncover the conspirator? Take a ride with Blake from Cuba, to Afghanistan, Belarus and Eastern Europe in this non-stop action thriller.

#2 Tom Preece

Tom Preece

    Word Warrior

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Posted 01 September 2015 - 05:04 PM

I think you may want to put this in Query Critiques

#3 KatMac2


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Posted 01 September 2015 - 06:16 PM

Im a little confused, it was a lot of information with not a lot of explanation. I would say maybe beef it up a bit, mystery's I only pick up if just from the back cover I have to know what happens and it has to not take me a few tries reading that back before I understand what the point of it is. 


So the girl is the linch pin it seems, so is the mystery whether she will help him or not? Ending on that note almost makes it seem like thats the big mystery, will she or wont she.


Sound like a cool story! And I'm with you, writing thousands of words is easy but one page is the death of you.


Good luck!!

#4 jr9701


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Posted 06 September 2015 - 01:28 PM

It's quite confusing, but you have the basis of a query. Just need to simplify it and make it "sound" well once its being read.

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