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#1 BeautifulChaos

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Posted 08 September 2015 - 11:39 PM

What do you think? I'm struggling with the 140 character limit.

In a battle between humans and mystics Kala is torn between the family who raised her and those who left her behind.



#2 jr9701

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Posted 09 September 2015 - 02:08 PM

I think its good. Nothing I see swayed me.



#3 BeautifulChaos

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Posted 09 September 2015 - 02:22 PM

So its good, but not good? If it lacks a swaying element can you tell me why?

Here are a couple others

 

Raised to believe humans are the superior race, Kala learns Mystics aren't all monsters when she falls in love with one.

 

Heroine learns conquering a land isn’t the same as owning it. Our worst enemies are the lies we tell ourselves



#4 jr9701

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Posted 10 September 2015 - 11:19 AM

The first one is still the best. Go with that.




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