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#1 Bill in Memphis

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Posted 04 February 2016 - 12:05 PM

Thursday the 11th from 12-3 pm CST. Get ready! Let's practice pitches, anybody in?

 

I'll start: Both of these led to a 'like', which led to full requests

 

 

"Nick Angriff's new life: mourn family, sleep 60 yrs,avoid assassins, defeat enemies, save innocents, resurrect USA, save the world"

 

 

"Innocents abroad in desolate America, facing a future of slavery or death, until the 7th Cavalry rides to the rescue!"

 

How can I make them better?


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#2 Thrash

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Posted 05 February 2016 - 11:13 AM


"Innocents abroad in desolate America, facing face a desolate future of slavery or death, until the 7th Cavalry rides to the rescue!"

 

 

"abroad" here makes me think of being out of the country, and coupling that with "America" makes me confused about the culture of the narrative, which doesn't really seem necessary.  Also, this gives you some characters to give me a clearer picture of either who the innocents or the 7th cavalry is. 



#3 Bill in Memphis

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Posted 05 February 2016 - 11:22 AM

 

"Innocents abroad in desolate America, facing face a desolate future of slavery or death, until the 7th Cavalry rides to the rescue!"

 

 

"abroad" here makes me think of being out of the country, and coupling that with "America" makes me confused about the culture of the narrative, which doesn't really seem necessary.  Also, this gives you some characters to give me a clearer picture of either who the innocents or the 7th cavalry is. 

 

Thanks for the input! I will certainly take this into account and you're probably right, although that tweet did lead to a full request.

 

But I'm new at this and will rework it and come back. If you would like to post one I would be happy to help.

 

#pitmatch #SF #A Innocents in post-Collapse America face slavery and death, until Nick Angriff and the 7th Cavalry ride to the rescue! 135 characters

 

 

Edit: based on your comments, and I think this is better:


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#4 Thrash

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Posted 05 February 2016 - 02:44 PM

I agree!  (But is it slavery AND death or slavery OR death?)



#5 Thrash

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Posted 05 February 2016 - 02:51 PM

What about this? 

 

Each night in the sleep clinic makes Andi further question her sanity. Each murder brings the killer closer to her door. #A #pitmatch 

 

134 Characters.



#6 Bill in Memphis

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Posted 05 February 2016 - 03:14 PM

I agree!  (But is it slavery AND death or slavery OR death?)

Technically both, but it's moot in the tweet so I'll pick one and use the space for something else. Good point.


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#7 Bill in Memphis

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Posted 05 February 2016 - 03:19 PM

What about this? 

 

Each night in the sleep clinic makes Andi further question her sanity. Each murder brings the killer closer to her door. #A #pitmatch 

 

134 Characters.

 

First, you're in MY wheelhouse with starting both sentences with the same word. I love that sort of thing. However, the 2nd sentence is the money shot, although the verb 'brings' is really weak and 'to her door' is unnecessary.

 

How about something along the lines of "Each murder and the killer closes in."

 

I'll throw my spin on this, which you are free to hate!

 

'The night hags torture Andi in her dreams, while with each murder the killer closes in.'


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#8 villain_fan

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Posted 09 February 2016 - 07:45 AM

I don't have a twitter account or know anything about it but after reading the success stories, I might make one and join in on this. Is there a website detailing this, with instructions etc.?

 

I guess I would use the hook of my query:

 

When detective Gregg Hunter's daughter is kidnapped, he has no choice but to take on a murder investigation commissioned by the very organisation that took her.

 

How is that?

 

Thrash, yours sounds very interesting . Bill, I really like your second one, but your first is a little bit of an overload for me, though I get your novel must be very exciting and action packed and you're trying to show all that off.


If you can, please check out my mystery/thriller query - http://agentquerycon...e-3#entry312316

And synopsis - http://agentquerycon...mysterythriller/


#9 Bill in Memphis

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Posted 09 February 2016 - 11:05 AM

I don't have a twitter account or know anything about it but after reading the success stories, I might make one and join in on this. Is there a website detailing this, with instructions etc.?

 

I guess I would use the hook of my query:

 

When detective Gregg Hunter's daughter is kidnapped, he has no choice but to take on a murder investigation commissioned by the very organisation that took her.

 

How is that?

 

Thrash, yours sounds very interesting . Bill, I really like your second one, but your first is a little bit of an overload for me, though I get your novel must be very exciting and action packed and you're trying to show all that off.

 

I'm really happy to see you're willing to jump in. I did not have a twitter account until two months ago and there's a lot to learn, but it's really easy.

 

Create an account but don't make my mistake, just use some version of your name. That way, five years from now, fans can find you. Write a profile, it's very short, and put in some sort of picture, This is very easy stuff and not mandatory yet, but it helps.

 

Follow me. Just look up TheLastBrigade and click the follow button. That way, you can read what I tweet to get an idea of what you should tweet. Do NOT tweet book promotions, that will just look like spam to most folks. Follow a lady named Brenda Drake, she is plugged into these contests. Then follow a bunch of agents. That should be a good start.

 

Okay, the hashtag is the key here. Think of a hashtag is a bulletin board. When you search for a hashtag, such as #amwriting, you will get a board where are tweets with that hashtag are posted. So once you're created your account, search for hashtag #pitmatch and read the tweets there. That's where your tweet Thursday will go.

 

There is no right or wrong in writing a pitch, so look at this as part of your education. If you publish your book, you need to know about twitter. This is kind of the center of the universe for readers/writers/agents/publishers, from what I can tell. It's pretty amazing, and you can learn a LOT there.

 

On Thursday, pay attention to the pitches, you'll figure out pretty soon which are good and which aren't. But this is NOT the place to cram in everything about your book. This is a three second elevator pitch, to grab their attention. There LOTS of articles out there via google to give advice on writing one, but remember, if this doesn't work there will be more events in the future, of all kinds.

 

This next part is not bragging, it's just to show the potential importance. At the one last week 43 publishers were monitoring the thread. I received requests from 4 of them, fully 10% of those watching. It can make all the difference if you do this right.

 

Best of luck, and I will help you any way that I can, but I'm like you, an unpublished novelist looking for a deal, so if an expert tells you something different than I am, listen to them.

 

Remember, you have 140 characters for your pitch. There are lots of thoughts on how to do it, but also plenty of places to give you advice.


Follow me on twitter @jointhebrigade1

 

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#10 Thrash

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Posted 09 February 2016 - 05:07 PM

 

 

When detective Gregg save your character count Hunter's daughter is kidnapped, he has no choice ​Little bit of a cliche here and there is an opportunity for some stronger verbs---is he blackmailed? manipulated? forced? but to take on a murder investigation commissioned by the very organisation Not sure what is meant here. What organization? Use proper nouns. that took her.

 

 



#11 Bill in Memphis

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Posted 09 February 2016 - 06:02 PM

 

 

 

When detective Gregg save your character count Hunter's daughter is kidnapped, he has no choice ​Little bit of a cliche here and there is an opportunity for some stronger verbs---is he blackmailed? manipulated? forced? but to take on a murder investigation commissioned by the very organisation Not sure what is meant here. What organization? Use proper nouns. that took her.

 

 

 

Thrash - That's definitely better, does it fit in the 140?

 

Kidnapped daughter of a detective depends on him solving a murder for the same people who took her #pitmatch  

 

This leaves 31 characters to play with. I suggest upping the stakes and injecting both action and emotion.


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#12 stormydawn

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Posted 09 February 2016 - 06:06 PM

I'm confused. I have a twitter, but what exactly does this do? They ask you for a query if they like your pitch?


"You fail only if you stop writing" --Ray Bradbury  :cool: 

 

Queries:

Tied Together

Ancient Blood

The Middle Space

The J Crew

 

Synopsis:

Ancient Blood


#13 Bill in Memphis

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Posted 09 February 2016 - 06:31 PM

I'm confused. I have a twitter, but what exactly does this do? They ask you for a query if they like your pitch?

Exactly! There are various types of events. Last week was #pit2pub, where 43 publishers were watching the pitches. If they heart your pitch, that means they want you to query them. I had 4 requests, 1 partial and 3 fulls, just from that one event.

 

This week you get one pitch during the event. The agents/editors and pubs then all try to match your pitch to whoever they think most likely to want to read it.

 

Twitter seems to be the center of the universe for publishing these days. Follow me @jointhebrigade1 and you can see who I follow, and pick up some authors to follow and get a feel for things.


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#14 stormydawn

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Posted 09 February 2016 - 07:14 PM

@.@ Okay, that's nuts, but okay. I'll follow you and get in on this once I'm sure my MS is done, done, done lol.


"You fail only if you stop writing" --Ray Bradbury  :cool: 

 

Queries:

Tied Together

Ancient Blood

The Middle Space

The J Crew

 

Synopsis:

Ancient Blood


#15 Bill in Memphis

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Posted 09 February 2016 - 07:53 PM

@.@ Okay, that's nuts, but okay. I'll follow you and get in on this once I'm sure my MS is done, done, done lol.

 IKR? Six weeks ago I had no idea any of this existed. It blows my mind, yet #MSWL is agents telling you exactly what they are looking for at that moment. Cool stuff, I'm learning bunches.


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#16 Bill in Memphis

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Posted 10 February 2016 - 11:10 AM

Copied from Jessica Sinsheimer's tweet about the event tomorrow.

 

Our #PitMatch teams, plus more rules and information, available on http://ManuscriptWishList.com  #MSWL and http://Brenda-Drake.com . @brendadrake

 

If you don't participate you're missing a golden opportunity. If fear is holding you back, get over it.


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#17 villain_fan

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Posted 11 February 2016 - 06:48 AM

Thank you so much for your help Bill! I had no idea what I was doing, so very helpful!


If you can, please check out my mystery/thriller query - http://agentquerycon...e-3#entry312316

And synopsis - http://agentquerycon...mysterythriller/


#18 villain_fan

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Posted 11 February 2016 - 06:55 AM

Bill, what's the hash-tags for adult thriller and mystery? Also, can you tweet the pitch as many times as you want during those hours ^ ?


If you can, please check out my mystery/thriller query - http://agentquerycon...e-3#entry312316

And synopsis - http://agentquerycon...mysterythriller/


#19 villain_fan

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Posted 11 February 2016 - 10:52 AM

Ahh I found these, may also be helpful for others:

 

Rules - https://pbs.twimg.co...XJIW0AIJ5Vg.jpg

Abbreviations - https://pbs.twimg.co...XlDWcAATJap.jpg


If you can, please check out my mystery/thriller query - http://agentquerycon...e-3#entry312316

And synopsis - http://agentquerycon...mysterythriller/


#20 Bill in Memphis

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Posted 11 February 2016 - 11:30 AM

Bill, what's the hash-tags for adult thriller and mystery? Also, can you tweet the pitch as many times as you want during those hours ^ ?

Every event is different, but in this one you get one tweet, period. That's all you need. Also, no retweets and no likes from pitchers during this event.

 

Others are different, so you need to keep up. Also, check #MSWL frequently, that's agents telling you right now what they need to see.

 

Adult thriller would be #A for adult, there is no hashtag for 'thriller' (there should be, that's what I wrote, too) so you could use #S for suspense, and mystery is just #M.

 

I would spend the first half hour reading the pitches that roll in and get ideas on how yours compares. You'll see right away which ones are good and which aren't.

 

Lastly, don't be discouraged is nothing comes of this. There are LOTS of events in the twitterverse.


Ahh I found these, may also be helpful for others:

 

Rules - https://pbs.twimg.co...XJIW0AIJ5Vg.jpg

Abbreviations - https://pbs.twimg.co...XlDWcAATJap.jpg

There ya go! Good job!


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