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YA Query that has gotten me 3 requests in a week!


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#1 Tiffany220

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Posted 08 June 2016 - 02:52 AM

I was beyond excited when three agents requested to read the full manuscript within a week! Below is the one I sent in (I've taken off my info and just placed the query itself on here).


Dear Tracy,

What if the only guy you could ever see yourself with, didn’t actually exist? For high school senior Annabelle Anderson, this is her reality. Fictional character Sebastian Reyes has played front runner in her daydreams from the very first moment she read about him in the acclaimed novel Irrevocably Yours. Her hopes of meeting someone that match his standards are few and far between. Then her best friend tells her news she can hardly believe. The author has revealed a secret. It turns out there is a guy who inspired the character and he is going to introduce himself to the world of fans just as crazy about Sebastian as she is. This is her chance to meet the man behind the words.

And then there’s Benson Riley. Ben’s been struggling to make it through his senior year after a stunt involving his brother leaves him injured, ruining the chances of a much needed football scholarship. School is hell, until he’s paired with Anna for a class project. Suddenly, things are looking up. When he’s with Anna, he can be himself, something he never thought he could be in a place where imposters are more common than not. But just as he’s about to make his move, he finds out about Anna’s spring break plans. She’s going to meet the man who inspired the fictional character that every girl in a ten block radius is infatuated with. Even though Ben knows nothing can happen, he still doesn’t want to chance losing her. He has to do something. His only plausible course of action? Follow her on the road trip of a lifetime.

Told from alternating points of view, Ben and Anna both have important decisions to make. For Anna, it’s whether or not she can trust her feelings for the blond, injured football star, who surprises her more and more with each second that they spend together. Can she get over the fact that Ben is a jock, a member of the “popular crowd” that she will never belong with? For Ben, it’s letting go of the past, of the anger he holds against his brother, of the standards he faces in the crowd he runs with. Does he have the strength to shed the image people have of him and just be the guy he really is, the one Anna helps him be?

In SEARCHING FOR SEBASTIAN, Anna and Ben are two young souls who set out to find the real thing in a world where the odds are stacked against them, and love isn’t as easy as it seems in the books.

(:

#2 Popeye

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Posted 08 June 2016 - 03:23 AM

Wow, that's an amazing thing to happen. What surprises me is that this query has some minute issues (only my thinking). This proves that a good story is all that matters; small things can be fixed by agents and editors. Way to go Tiffany :)


Please share some thoughts on my query letter - Query Letter


#3 Tiffany220

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Posted 08 June 2016 - 12:48 PM

Thanks! A few people on here didn't think it was very good (which was a huge discourageing)but I think it's all just a matter of what a certain person likes. I think people out there that have been criticized to death need to see this, for encouragement.

#4 Popeye

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Posted 08 June 2016 - 01:34 PM

Me, for instance :biggrin:


Please share some thoughts on my query letter - Query Letter


#5 pipster_61

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Posted 08 June 2016 - 10:42 PM

How exciting! Its always motivating and uplifting to see success stories. Good luck :)



#6 AthenaZimmer

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Posted 08 June 2016 - 11:11 PM

I hope someone gets it. You'll have to let me know. That sounds like a book I could really get into :)



#7 Tiffany220

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Posted 09 June 2016 - 02:18 AM

Thanks pipster_61! And I will let you know Athena! (:

#8 Preston Copeland.Biz

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Posted 09 June 2016 - 08:41 AM

Congratulations! It sounds like a good story. :)


Preston Copeland

Website: prestoncopeland.biz

Twitter: @pcopeland2345

Email: pcopeland2345@gmail.com


#9 Tiffany220

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Posted 09 June 2016 - 11:11 AM

Thanks!

#10 SnowFox23

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Posted 13 June 2016 - 04:03 AM

That's awesome! Great stuff. :smile:

I love how easy to read your query is. Most of the queries I read are complex, bold and baffling. Yours is straight forward, clever and exquisitely simple. I'm glad you posted and I hope you land a great agent!



#11 Tiffany220

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Posted 13 June 2016 - 11:21 AM

Thank you SnowFox23!!!

#12 MariaB

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 11:50 PM

Congratulations! I'm already curious about the book and would love to read it!



#13 VitaCoco

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Posted 19 June 2016 - 07:13 AM

I agree with others about the way your query is "approachable." I could feel your characters and the plot. Great job and congratulations!


"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes" (Pooh).


#14 Tiffany220

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Posted 19 June 2016 - 11:13 AM

Thank you two! I'm very excited!

#15 KirkDJohnston

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Posted 19 July 2016 - 10:17 AM

Thanks! A few people on here didn't think it was very good (which was a huge discourageing)but I think it's all just a matter of what a certain person likes. I think people out there that have been criticized to death need to see this, for encouragement.

Yeah, I think the thing with people on here is they're hyper critical because they know everyone's looking for criticism. So, even if you have basically a great query, they'll likely find something to pick at, because they just want to show they're helping you make it the best it can be. lol

 

Personally, I'm gonna let them pick away till the cows come home, because it's all good stuff that I can hopefully use to make my query the best it can be, and maybe one day I'll be telling you guys and gals about my offer(s) too.

 

:-D



#16 Zero

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Posted 19 July 2016 - 12:49 PM

Congrats!!

 

Now I'm so into the story that I can´t wait to read the whole thing.  :tongue:


As a writer you are also your first and most important reader. Do what you love, love what you do.

#17 ValentinaBlood

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Posted 28 July 2016 - 12:29 PM

I was beyond excited when three agents requested to read the full manuscript within a week! Below is the one I sent in (I've taken off my info and just placed the query itself on here).


Dear Tracy,

What if the only guy you could ever see yourself with, didn’t actually exist? For high school senior Annabelle Anderson, this is her reality. Fictional character Sebastian Reyes has played front runner in her daydreams from the very first moment she read about him in the acclaimed novel Irrevocably Yours. Her hopes of meeting someone that match his standards are few and far between. Then her best friend tells her news she can hardly believe. The author has revealed a secret. It turns out there is a guy who inspired the character and he is going to introduce himself to the world of fans just as crazy about Sebastian as she is. This is her chance to meet the man behind the words.

And then there’s Benson Riley. Ben’s been struggling to make it through his senior year after a stunt involving his brother leaves him injured, ruining the chances of a much needed football scholarship. School is hell, until he’s paired with Anna for a class project. Suddenly, things are looking up. When he’s with Anna, he can be himself, something he never thought he could be in a place where imposters are more common than not. But just as he’s about to make his move, he finds out about Anna’s spring break plans. She’s going to meet the man who inspired the fictional character that every girl in a ten block radius is infatuated with. Even though Ben knows nothing can happen, he still doesn’t want to chance losing her. He has to do something. His only plausible course of action? Follow her on the road trip of a lifetime.

Told from alternating points of view, Ben and Anna both have important decisions to make. For Anna, it’s whether or not she can trust her feelings for the blond, injured football star, who surprises her more and more with each second that they spend together. Can she get over the fact that Ben is a jock, a member of the “popular crowd” that she will never belong with? For Ben, it’s letting go of the past, of the anger he holds against his brother, of the standards he faces in the crowd he runs with. Does he have the strength to shed the image people have of him and just be the guy he really is, the one Anna helps him be?

In SEARCHING FOR SEBASTIAN, Anna and Ben are two young souls who set out to find the real thing in a world where the odds are stacked against them, and love isn’t as easy as it seems in the books.

(:

Congrats! I am happy for you!


Yours Truly,
Valentina Blood 

Check out my site! 


#18 adr90

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Posted 31 July 2016 - 07:42 AM

I love how simple and easy to read it is! Congratulations!

#19 KitKatKungFu

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Posted 10 August 2016 - 10:05 AM

Thanks! A few people on here didn't think it was very good (which was a huge discourageing)but I think it's all just a matter of what a certain person likes. I think people out there that have been criticized to death need to see this, for encouragement.

 

Congrats! It's interesting to read this as I often face the same problem & it leaves me feeling like I'm a terrible writer & no one will ever like anything I write. Glad you could see around all that and still put yourself out there. :) 



#20 Niambi

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Posted 23 September 2016 - 12:18 AM

Thanks! A few people on here didn't think it was very good (which was a huge discourageing)but I think it's all just a matter of what a certain person likes. I think people out there that have been criticized to death need to see this, for encouragement.

 

I would agree.  I came here thinking that most of us were cut from roughly the same cloth, but quickly discovered that that's not the case.  Most of the queries I've studied don't follow all of the advice I've been given by others.   

 

Congratulations, and good luck.






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