Here's #4. Thanks for the last feedback.
Ten years ago the warrior monk Cyril Kol caused the collapse of civilization. The ensuing cataclysm cost the lives of his wife and child. Or so he thought. Personally, I dig this hook.
Since learning that they live, Kol has scoured the war torn world in search of his family, knowing only that they reside in one of the Star Rooms - sacred chambers of Oracles. His search is made more difficult by the price on his head, the criminalization of his order and occupation, and his coping method of consistent insobriety. a couple more details here would be helpful. what is his order and occupation and why are they now criminal?
But when he rescues an orphaned courtesan-in-training runaway and takes her as a student, it is no longer only himself he must protect. Pursued by a murderous highway man bent on revenge and a battalion of slaughterers determined to bag the man who caused The Collapse, Kol and a motley cadre of loveable allies search for an occupied Star Room, while Veepa learns the ways of The Order of Eye and Cloud.again, the details you give are good, but i think you could use a couple more. where did the allies come from and what do they want? is Veepa the orphaned courtesan?
But by the time he finds the trail of his long lost family, his predators are closing in. If Kol waits for the Oracle to divulge the whereabouts of his missing family, he will endanger the family he has accumulated. He must choose between his lost child and his beloved student. With no way to win, Kol will once again bear responsibility for the decimation of all that he has come to love.
But it is a decimation that will thrust Kol into a peace and power that his enemies can not touch.im unsure about this last sentence?it feels very vague
Of Eye and Cloud is a speculative fiction/hard fantasy
with a unique voice and strong characters whose stories unfold in a world where the technology is based on magnetics and glass in a historical period roughly equivalent to our early 1800’s. Centered on an ethical question and a metaphysical system,Of Eye and Cloud will appeal to fans of Patrick Rothfuss for it’s lively tone and to people who enjoy the philosophical and moral predilections of R. Scott Bakker.
my updated query is here