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Not Enough Words (Gay YA)


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#41 Olive K. Aristen

Olive K. Aristen

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 12:38 PM

I've skimmed a couple of the former versions on here and YAY! This sounds really great! I'm a hardcore ally and just thrilled that this could be could be out there someday. We def need books like this.

 

Your feedback on my query was helpful, so hopefully I can be just as helpful.

 

 



Seventeen year old Taylor has a lot to figure out - why her friend, Christian, is acting so strangely and how to stop her crazy anxiety. As if that weren't enough, stupidly attractive and super confident Sara [I like this :)] introduces her to the full flavor of the LGBTQIA alphabet soup. Now Might be worthwhile to make this an em dash and not two sentencesthe only thing Taylor has figured out is that she’s in love with this girl. 

 

As Taylor navigates all of the feels of falling in love, Sara teaches her the vocabulary of queerness [I think you should either leave this or edit above. It kind of says the same thing. I like the alphabet soup quote best.] and a couple other things along the way. But unlike her beautiful, amazing girlfriend, Taylor isn’t sure what her identity is. Does dating guys make her bi? Can she be demiromantic and pansexual but call herself queer? It’s enough to give anybody a panic attack, but when Christian faces a crisis because she's trans, Sara and Taylor learn the true definition of queer family. I think you should spell out the crisis, the stakes, rather than be vague.

 

NOT ENOUGH WORDS is complete at 58,000 words, and it will appeal to lovers of ANNIE ON MY MIND and CRANK. As an English teacher, I've always wished there were more LGBTQIA novels for my students to read. I decided to write one myself drawing from my experience of growing up in Indiana wondering if all the other girls were just as attracted to women as I was. So this is an #ownvoices story?! That's good. You should mention that if applicable. A lot of agents are out there wanting stories written by people who have experienced what they're writing about. I didn't see anybody else mention it, but here's a link with a bit of information on #ownvoices: http://www.readbrigh...n-kids-ya-lit/ 

 

Per your submissions guidelines, the first ten pages of the manuscript are included below. Thank you for your time!

 


Current query for critique: http://agentquerycon...ntasy/?p=340722


#42 dragoness

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Posted 19 June 2017 - 05:19 AM

The story sounds appealing, but I find the characters not unique enough to be interesting. All we know about them is that they're beautiful and confused. Tell us more details to make us care for them. 

 

6/15 - latest version. Thanks for all the feedback. Please post your query link, and I will review it!

 

Seventeen year old Taylor has a lot to figure out - why her friend, Christian, is acting so strangely and how to stop her crazy anxiety. As if that weren't enough, stupidly attractive and super confident (very banal description, find a real reason for falling in love with her) Sara introduces her to the full flavor of the LGBTQIA alphabet soup. Now the only thing Taylor has figured out is that she’s in love with this girl. (it's a complicated paragraph, I tried to shorten and clarify it.)

 

As Taylor navigates all of the feels of falling in love, Sara teaches her the vocabulary of queerness and a couple other things along the way. But unlike her beautiful, amazing (pick one) girlfriend, Taylor isn’t sure what her identity is. Does dating guys make her bi? Can she be demiromantic and pansexual but call herself queer? It’s enough to give anybody a panic attack, but when Christian faces a crisis because she's trans, Sara and Taylor learn the true definition of queer family.

 

NOT ENOUGH WORDS is complete at 58,000 words, and it will appeal to lovers of ANNIE ON MY MINDCRANK, and I'LL GIVE YOU THE SUN. As an English teacher, I've always wished there were more LGBTQIA novels for my students to read. I decided to write one myself drawing from my experience of growing up in Indiana wondering if all the other girls were just as attracted to women as I was.

 

Per your submissions guidelines, the first ten pages of the manuscript are included below.

 

Thank you for your time!






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