Any feedback on my query would be greatly appreciated. It's been through a couple edits and I still don't feel totally comfortable with it. Let me know if you have a query listed and I will make sure to leave my feedback as well. Thanks!
THIS IS THE NEWEST VERSION OF THE QUERY. I'm finally feeling pretty satisfied with my query and think it's ready to send out. I would appreciate some opinions on whether or not you think it's ready.
Verth was only a baby when his adoptive parents found him in the woods next to the body of his murdered mother. Seventeen years later, Verth still leaves flowers at his mother’s grave, and the Cloven King still searches for the boy prophesied to end his reign.
When Verth discovers an emerald dagger imbued with dark magic, the Cloven King senses him for the first time in years. Desperate to find him at last, the king sends a raiding party to Verth’s fishing village. Unable to find Verth, the raiders torch the village and capture his adoptive mother as bait.
Joined by a one-eyed warlord with his own vendetta, Verth cuts a path toward the Cloven King’s stronghold. In venturing north, Verth learns that an army marches toward the king’s gate, prepared to dethrone the king and slaughter every inhabitant in the city, including his imprisoned mother. To hold back the floodgates of war and save his mother’s life, Verth must confront the Cloven King, wielding only the emerald dagger, and destroy a man that legend says cannot die.
My YA fantasy novel, THE CLOVEN KING, combines the coming-of-age elements of The Assassin’s Apprentice with fantastical themes found in The Last Unicorn. The novel is complete at 98,000 words.
I published two stories in the Phoenix Literary Magazine, winning the magazine’s short story competition with my story “Highlands.”