New Draft in Post #5
Hello there everyone,
This is a synopsis for my current MS. I'm new to synopsis writing (and definitely still learning), so I'd appreciate any critiques you care to offer. I'm happy to return the favor (on a synopsis or anything) if you nudge me in the right direction.
Seventeen-year-old LORI has one mission in life: to hunt the sorcerers that threaten to destroy her world. They routinely plant bombs that explode with dire magical consequences, unleashing localized floods or pocket firestorms. Lori is blessed with a rare mutation that allows her to feel magic as pain, and she can sense the presence of sorcerers and their bombs before they explode. She is training to join the Sentinels, the elite law enforcement agency responsible for safe-guarding the public from magical threats.
While Lori is meeting her brother, GRANT, sorcerers attack and kidnap him. Though Lori tries to save him, she is overpowered. She attempts to persuade first the Sentinels and her mother to rescue Grant, but both requests are denied.
Lori decides to go after Grant on her own. She sets out into the Zone, an uninhabited region in the middle of the country teeming with magic. She falls into a trap set by a mutant spider moments across the border, and escapes with the help of RYLAN, a traveler her age who was nearly captured as well.
Though Lori is suspicious of Rylan, as they face the horrors of the Zone she comes to rely on him and develops romantic feelings for him. These feelings are betrayed when Lori finds Grant and discovers that Rylan is not only one of the kidnappers, but a sorcerer as well.
Lori’s shock at Rylan’s betrayal leads to her capture. She bides her time and seizes an opportunity to escape with Grant, but the sorcerers hunt them down before they get back to the safety of civilization. The sorcerers take Lori and Grant to their homeland, where Lori is separated from Grant.
In the sorcerer’s world, and under the power of a rival faction of sorcerers including Rylan’s brother, TYRATH, Lori’s ability to sense and resist magic is tested. The tests nearly kill her, but Rylan arrives just in time. He hides Lori while she recovers, and, when she eventually begins to forgive him for his betrayal, he offers to help her find Grant. He explains that his allies kidnapped Grant because he’s the key to ending a deadly curse. Time passes, and Lori decides to trust Rylan again. The romantic feelings she’s been trying to avoid resurface with a vengeance.
Rylan and Lori search for information on Grant’s whereabouts. They find it, and are set to go after him, when Tyrath and his faction appear. Panicked, Rylan tells Lori the last truth he’s been hiding from her—that she, too, is a sorcerer, one capable of ending the same curse as Grant. He wants to hide her again, but Lori no longer trusts him. She launches a desperate bid to escape only to discover that Tyrath has brought Grant with him. Lori lets her long dormant magic explode to cause the distraction that enables her to free Grant and flee.
In the Zone once more, Lori is horrified by all that she’s learned. Though she vows to be a good sorcerer, she still doesn’t entirely believe that’s possible. She returns to the Sentinels, prepared to be cast out but, to her surprise, Lori’s new skills make her valuable. The Sentinels agree to keep her on. Lori knows that her life is about to get a lot more complicated, but Grant is home. He’s safe. And that, to her, is worth it.