Thanks for your feedback spinner :)
A journal entry in a strange language mentions that an Agent has found the Subject able to transmit his thoughts to others.
KARAN wakes up in CHHAYA’s room, with no idea how he got there. She is everything Karan wanted in a woman, though his roommate (spelling: "roommate"Not really sure what's to change here), HARSHIT, is sceptical (spelling: "skeptical") of her and her story. Harshit has been protective of Karan since their time together in college, and Karan really values his opinion, so he promises to be more careful. (I am thrown off a little by this paragraph; it starts with him having no idea how he got into Chhaya's room, and then she's immediately everything he wanted in a woman. The first sentence makes it sound like he doesn't know Chhaya at all, and the second sentence makes it sound like he's intimately familiar with her. That is exactly the inference that I wanted to draw. Karan is so mesmerized with her that he cannot even question her. That is what makes Harshit even skeptical about her. He has been protective about Karan for a reason given below (Protector). Also, I'm left wondering what Chhaya's story is that Harshit is skeptical of) -
As Karan continues to be enchanted by Chhaya, NISHA, his ex-crush from college, arrives. When a trip to Goa is planned, Karan invites Chhaya along. During the journey, Harshit and Chhaya argue aggressively. A desperate Karan wants them to stop, but ends up stopping every person around him (I'm not sure what this means; does he use some supernatural power to literally freeze them? - Yes). He collapses in pain, and is revived by Dr. RUSTOM, having no memory of the incident.
After they arrive in Goa, Harshit’s attempts to keep Karan away from Chhaya strengthen Karan's feelings instead. Karan unintentionally stops and revives Harshit, who then asks Karan to not think about anything strongly. A confused Karan agrees.
Later on, on their date, Chhaya discloses that all the creatures in human mythology are actually extra-terrestrial races at war, and her type are called the Angels. She reveals that a great evil is threatening the galaxy, just as Ravan did in the Ramayan. She adds that after the events of Ramayan, eight lineages of Possessors have carried the eight Siddhis of Hanuman in their genes. To Karan's shock, she reveals that his genes have the Vasitva Siddhi, which enable telepathic control. She requests him to help assimilate the other Possessors to defeat the great evil in the impending civil war. (this supernatural plot seems to be the heart of your story, and the most engaging part; I'm wondering if you could trim down a lot of what comes before it so that it's clear what kind of story we're talking about earlier in the synopsis.) - I am not sure which part to edit. Any suggestions are welcome. :)
In dismay and disbelief, a heart-broken (spelling: "heartbroken") Karan goes to Harshit for guidance, but Harshit reveals that he himself is part of a lineage called the Protectors, responsible for maintaining the security and succession of the genes with the Siddhis. Believing that Harshit was never his true friend, Karan abandons him too. A conflict brews within him between forgiving and condemning Harshit and Chhaya. Forgiving them would mean ignoring his true feelings and accepting his destiny. (grammatically, it would work better to either combine these two sentences with a comma or get rid of the "but") But condemning them would lead to a galactic apocalypse.
KARAN (you don't need to put this name in all-caps at this point) reluctantly decides to discuss things with Harshit and Chhaya. However, he is eventually convinced that they do not appreciate his feelings, and only want him for his powers and genes. He decides to give up on everyone. Then, a dying Nisha informs them that Dr. Rustom has injured her. They discover that Rustom is holding many civilian lives hostage. When Rustom hurts Chhaya for trying to stop him, Karan is enraged and kills him using his powers.
The final journal entry hails Rustom as a martyr in the mission to assimilate the Possessors, and warns Chhaya for her interference.
Nisha's death brings home for Karan the thought of the losses in the war. He agrees to join the search for other Possessors. As he activates the beacon to confirm Earth’s participation, he collapses again.
There is a lot going on here that can be kind of hard to follow; maybe that's because I'm not familiar with the right kind of mythology, and you just need to make sure you're submitting to agents who are likely to know what you mean by Ramayan and Siddhis, for example. That said, you might benefit from exploring ways to make your fantastic elements more accessible.
The book was initially called Siddhi:Vasitva. But I have renamed it to "The Subjugator" to make it more accessible and give an indication on what the book is about.
I will be positing a revised version soon. Hope to see your comments there as well. :)