SEE POST 23 FOR UPDATED QUERY. Just posted an updated query
Hi, I've been really struggling with the opening. Not sure if I should leap right into characters or try and give a little setting. Still not happy with the first paragraph, but hopefully someone has a little suggestion that can shove me in the right direction. Thanks so much ahead of time!
A new world and a paucity of peaceful natives enables the Noruk people to prosper for five generations until one of the native’s taps a sleeping Titan’s lifeblood. Powerful as a god, all he needs is an army to shove the humans back into the sea and there’s five generations of one buried.
Near-sighted, fourth son of a hard-bitten hersir, Egil’s fate of a violent death becomes certain when the faerie fire burns across his blade. With his King dead, Egil is left to defend the Aegin Fort. When the Vandrere march around the fort, raiding deep into his lands, Egil believes the Native defenceless and leads his ragtag group of old, young, and embittered warriors north on a desperate attempt to kill the Necromancer. Barely surviving, they return south to see their land aflame. A sympathetic native offers Egil the answer to win the war; all it takes is a journey to the after world. Dying is the easy part; it’s getting back that’s hard. Every journey leaves its mark and the journey to the after life leaves Egil with a split personality.
Daughter of a Jarl, Thora is red-haired, quick-tempered, and as fierce as she’s beautiful. Carrying out her Father’s last wishes, she frees the thralls and arms them, but when the King dies, their army splinters. Propositioned by the King’s son, attracted to a handsome, recently freed thrall, and promised by her Father to a dead hersir’s eldest son, Thora’s choice is stolen from her by the same spirits feeding the faerie fire. She flees south to the Athecans, trying to prepare them for the refugees streaming towards them and the war that follows.
Hersirs and Heroes is ____ word YA fantasy novel centered on Egil and Thora finding unlikely love while trying to save their people from annihilation. This novel fits somewhere between Brent Weeks compelling story telling and Joe Abercrombie’s gritty, edge of the knife writing.