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closed: Hook for high fantasy

Fantasy

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#1 CM_Fick

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Posted 27 February 2017 - 02:54 AM

I've decided to discard this idea. I'm not too sure how to delete it, but this is closed.  

Thank you.

 

I'd like to test out a totally different hook than the one in my current query. It's not necessarily standard, but I think it may set a better tone than anything else I've tried. 

 

 

Imagine living with a visceral connection to the elements, to have a unique ability to not only feel each element, but also command them to do your bidding; this is the life of a Greater Elemental.

 

 

Any input is greatly appreciated. 

 

Thanks



#2 Testome

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Posted 27 February 2017 - 05:39 AM

This only really describes someone's powers, but you've not introduced a mc, their goal, or an obstacle. This really wouldn't get me to read on really as there is nothing new here that hasn't been done. I'm sure your book is unique, but this hook does not show it. If you included the items I mentioned earlier, it would help.



#3 CM_Fick

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Posted 27 February 2017 - 11:22 AM

This only really describes someone's powers, but you've not introduced a mc, their goal, or an obstacle. This really wouldn't get me to read on really as there is nothing new here that hasn't been done. I'm sure your book is unique, but this hook does not show it. If you included the items I mentioned earlier, it would help.

 

Thank you for your feedback, Testome, but I'm sorry to say, I have to disagree. There's nothing in any of my resources that say a hook has to introduce your character.

 

A hook can be about anything: you, your book, your target market, or a relevant quote or statistic. Anything. Just make sure it’s unusual. (this specifically is taken from: http://query-letter....ry-letter-hook/) but it isn't the only place that says a hook doesn't have to be character driven.

 

I'm not saying that I've succeeded in making mine unusual or a good enough to function as a hook, but it doesn't have to be about my characters. 

 

Now, having said that, the hook is about my 2 main characters, both of whom are greater elementals. 



#4 punitrastogi

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Posted 27 February 2017 - 12:37 PM

I think if the hook isn't making someone ask for more, its not working.
Character, or not. Short or not.

Thank you for your feedback, Testome, but I'm sorry to say, I have to disagree. There's nothing in any of my resources that say a hook has to introduce your character.

A hook can be about anything: you, your book, your target market, or a relevant quote or statistic. Anything. Just make sure it’s unusual. (this specifically is taken from: http://query-letter....ry-letter-hook/) but it isn't the only place that says a hook doesn't have to be character driven.

I'm not saying that I've succeeded in making mine unusual or a good enough to function as a hook, but it doesn't have to be about my characters.

Now, having said that, the hook is about my 2 main characters, both of whom are greater elementals.


The change in life or the goal to achieve should be included, for your query specifically.

You can check mine for instance.
My story is also related a power to some superpower.

#5 Testome

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Posted 27 February 2017 - 03:50 PM

If you can find another interesting way to provide us the details we need sure.  But elemental powers are just a tad overdone so this doesn't seem interesting by itself and this doesn't really tell us anything about the plot for instance. I was never saying you had to really. A hook really just needs to draw in the reader while providing appropriate details. I was just providing suggestions. 



#6 CM_Fick

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Posted 27 February 2017 - 06:29 PM

Thank you Testome. I appreciate you taking the time to clarify and I understand here you are coming from.

 

Punitrastogi, thank you for your candor. You are right. If its not working, it's not doing it's job.

 

 

This was just a test run of a hook, since I'm apparently not conveying the important aspects of my story through my query. 







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