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FALL OF EDEN (YA Fantasy) Synopsis


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#1 PR Palisch

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Posted 16 March 2017 - 04:08 PM

The first forbidden love will lead to the first murder.

The son of Adam loves the daughter of Lilith and the angel Samuel. Cain will see that their union will never be. He plans on taking Lilith and Sariel’s life with the help of Miriam, the second woman created for Adam. Miriam’s spell only turns Lilith into her owl form and she isn’t able to turn back. Sariel escapes to the realm Lilith went to when she left Eden. When she learns what’s happened and who did it she sets out on a quest to save her mother and destroy Cain.

Cain’s wrath grows as he learns Miriam deceived him by not killing Lilith and letting Sariel escape. Cain finds Abel in Eden helping Sariel gather the items Miriam needs for the potion to restore Lilith. Abel tells Cain he will take Sariel for his wife.  Enraged Cain strikes Abel in the head with a stone. For the first time blood flows in the garden. The evil act destroys the gate between Eden and the Underworld releasing hell on Earth.

An evil entity from the Underworld pulls Abel into its domain. Without hesitation Sariel leaps into the underworld to save Abel.  She searches for Abel while battling the evil that wants to keep him. She meets a demigod named Nirvana. He fashions her a sword using her father’s angel blade and a snake from the underworld. She learns where Abel is being held but she finds she’s too late. Cain has found a way to resurrect Abel at a cost. Abel can only live with an evilness from the underworld inside him.

Nirvana assists Sariel in escaping the Underworld. Once she’s back on Earth she’s shocked to learn she’s been gone centuries. The Earth’s human population has grown.  She sets out to find Abel, destroy Cain, and put the evilness back into the underworld. Cain has plans of his own, take away her angel abilities and rule the Earth with Abel by his side.

With the help of two of Miriam’s children she escapes Cain’s land. She encounters Abel who is battling his inner demon. Will he help her or destroy her?

In the end the two brothers will ask Sariel to end their lives. Cain wants his eternal sentence to end and Abel wants his soul. Which will she kill the man she loves or the one she hates?



#2 punitrastogi

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Posted 17 March 2017 - 05:36 AM

The current way the synopsis has been written looks like a list of bullet points (A comment I was given a lot of times for my query), with not much of emotions or story building.

Because of that, the story becomes really confusing to someone who is not already familiar with the mythology (like me).

 

I would suggest making it a bit more flowy and with emotions.

 

e.g.

 

Miriam’s spell only turns Lilith into her owl form

 

can be written as

 

For her own selfish reasons, Miriam only turns Lilith into her owl form.

 

or something like that.

 

Hope it helps.



#3 PR Palisch

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Posted 17 March 2017 - 09:03 AM

Thanks for the input! Any suggestions are helpful. I think I'm making writing a synopsis harder than needs to be. :wacko: 






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