Fourth draft based on comments found down in reply number 8.http://agentquerycon...mar23/?p=336700
Thank you to the folks who took the time to reply, despite not being hooked! I know how hard it can be to comment on something that doesn't interest you. I know this one isn't perfect, but I'm hoping it's a little closer to something that catches a person's attention.
Hello, yes, I have a second query for a another book that I've written in the last few months. This is unrelated to the other book, so I would appreciate a fresh opinion on it. Thanks you in advance for any feedback you may have. Something is bugging me about the 3rd paragraph especially.
Even X's parents didn't think him worth giving a name to, and yet, somehow, the Prophet spared his life. Now, outside the walls of the last bastion of humanity, he's going to need to find his destiny, or fall to the darkness that ended the world centuries before.
At 18, X lives in the poorest part of the city, struggling on a daily basis to find a way to pay for simple things like food, and more importantly, for light. With few other options, he ventures out beyond the safety of the city to scavenge in the ruins of the forgotten old-world.
After barely escaping a near-fatal encounter outside the city, X rescues a mysterious woman from the rich part of town, Nia, from one of the many dangers inside the walls. A few short hours later, they find themselves running for their lives from the brutal powers that rule the city. With nobody else they can count on, and dangers at every corner, the odd duo is forced to navigate desolate highways and seek safety within the bones of long-dead cities.
Safety is, however, relative as X and Nia attempt to stay one step ahead of the dogged soldiers that relentlessly pursue them. Soldiers, and worse. One of the fierce, 800-pound, wold-like creatures that prowl the lands has picked up X's scent again. Unsatisfied with how their earlier encounter ended, it is unwilling to let him escape a second time.
But none of the dangers behind them can even compare to what waits for them as the sun sets. Responsible for the deaths of billions, the Night gives good reason to fear the dark. With claws that carve steel, teeth that rend bones, and bodies of liquid gloom, the shadows give form to humanity's deepest terrors.
If X and Nia are to have any hope of surviving, they will need to overcome the Night and get to the bottom of why the Prophet let X live.
And why she was so afraid of him.
WORTHLESS is complete at just under 110,000 words, and is a fantasy thriller aimed at young-adult and new-adult audiences. It's a story about finding the personal bonds that make life worth living, and denying the limitations that are given by 'fate' or 'birth'.
If you're willing to review my other query (Borrowed Time), you can find it at the following link: http://agentquerycon...st-11/?p=336400