revised in #20
I've gotten some great feedback and used it so hopefully it looks better! Let me know what you think... this is the new one as of 6/20 directly below.
Seventeen-year-old Samantha knows that emotional connections are not forever. After all, on her eighteenth birthday, she will be paired off and then re-paired again just a few years later. No attachments. No physical affections. No secrets. To her, the world catastrophe was a good thing, it allowed humanity to finally forge an ideal society, one with true equality for all. To achieve fairness, it is important to follow the rules. If you can’t be equal you are sent to the South, a barren wasteland in where few survive, or you can take your own life, since harming another is forbidden. Almost everyone chooses death.
Samantha is content knowing she will have the same life as everyone else; one that has been laid out before her by society. So, when a stranger named Hawke appears to her in her dreams and declares that life isn’t fair, she knows she should report herself to Headquarters for the absurd thought, but she can’t. In her dreams, Hawke teaches her unimaginable things like fighting, weaponry, and dancing. If she was to reveal her dreams, Headquarters would wipe away her memories of him, and she isn’t ready for that. His brute force and passion for life stir up feelings Samantha has never felt, and in a world where nothing is hers, she wants to keep him for herself. He makes her feel more, want to be more…and in her society, more is not allowed.
But just when she thinks she knows Hawke, she finds out that he is real, and he is dangerous. Afraid and with nowhere to go, she escapes to the South, only to land in the arms of Hawke himself. Equipped with only the skills that she learned in her dreams to survive, she must try to set aside her awoken feelings to navigate the South, and him. Faced with new discoveries, she must choose for the first time her own path, and how she is going to fight for it.
Dear (Personalized agent), I’m seeking representation for my 80,000 word, young adult dystopian novel, Interchangeable. Seventeen-year-old Samantha knows that keeping her dreams a secret is prohibited. It wouldn’t be fair if she were to dream and others were not allowed to. There is nothing in her dreams to concern her enough to turn herself in, that is until a stranger named Hawke appears. And when he declares that ‘life isn’t fair’ she knows that she shouldn’t be dreaming of him and more importantly, he must be wrong. After all, the catastrophe that struck Earth was a good thing. It allowed humans in her government free society to be what they longed for so badly, equal. But there is something about Hawke that makes her keep him a secret. His brute force and passion for life stir up forbidden emotions in Samantha that make her feel more…want to be more. And in her society ‘more’ is not allowed. When her dreams become a reality, she discovers that Hawke is real, and he isn’t the man she dreamt he was. Worse, the society she knows is holding many secrets, secrets that could be its undoing. Armed with this new knowledge she is cast from the only civilization she knows and strait into the arms of Hawke, real and in the flesh. She must use the lessons that he taught her in her own dreams to survive the South, a barren wasteland in which few survive, and more importantly… him. Throughout her journey, she beings to unravel her own personality and wonders if individuality is greater than being interchangeable. Readers who enjoyed Lois Lowry’s, The Giver and Ally Condie’s, Matched, will get wrapped up in the dystopian world of, Interchangeable. Thank you for your time and consideration,
Here is new one:
The world’s catastrophe was a good thing. With what was left of humanity forged something that people from the past longed for so badly, an equal society. Seventeen-year-old Samantha knows it is important to follow the rules to maintain this equality. She will do her best to not get too attached to anything or anyone emotionally or physically. She will work every job, move every three years, be paired, and re-paired again. She will hold herself and others accountable for their actions and report any suspicions to Headquarters. If you can’t be equal you are sent to the South, a barren wasteland in which few survive, or you can take your own life, since harming another is forbidden. When given the option of the two, almost everyone chooses death.
But recently Samantha has racking up a list of things that are making her un-equal to her peers, but it’s her dreams. They make her think of memories of her dead brother, or helping others who can’t help themselves, or keeping secrets with friends, and worse wanting to see Hawke, the stranger that has been appearing in her dreams. He teaches her unimaginable things like fighting, weaponry and dancing. Every morning when she wakes up she knows she should report herself, but she can’t. She knows that if she does, Headquarters would wipe away the memory she has of him and she isn’t ready for that yet. His brute force and passion for life stir up feelings that Samantha has never felt before, and in a world where nothing is hers, she wants to keep him for herself. He makes her feel more, want to be more… and in her society, more is not allowed.
Caught between right (being equal) and wrong (being an individual) she goes to seek out answers only to find out that her dream boy Hawke is real… and in a world of no harm to another being, he helped kill her brother. Fearing for her life she is sent to the South and mistakenly straight into the arms of Hawke. Desperately trying to survive, she must use the lessons from her dreams to protect herself from the South and from him. But the further away from her community she gets the more she realizes that maybe Hawke isn’t the dangerous one but that Headquarters and her society are. Faced with new discoveries and feelings, she must choose for the first time ever her own path, and how she is willing to fight for it.