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Synopsis (FIRSTS) Looking for some help! :)

New Adult

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#1 hannahb712

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Posted 27 April 2017 - 05:54 PM

I've been editing this a ton, so I'm just looking for someone to give a quick read through, or maybe some edits, and let me know what you think! I'll do the same for someone else's work, as well! 

 

 

 

With all the courage that seventeen-year-old STEPHANIE ANDREWS can muster, she asks her mother, “When is the right time to have sex?” As expected, her mother turns the situation around, crushing Stephanie’s hopes for an answer. Left without guidance, Stephanie decides that regardless of her mother's opinion, she’s going to lose her virginity with her boyfriend. However, her momentary confidence quickly fades to doubt, forcing Stephanie to confide in her best friend ELLA O'CONNOR. Ella though, a sophomore in college, has no experience to share from. She wants to lose her virginity, but unlike Stephanie, Ella's looking for a quick fix to her 'problem.' And while it truly doesn’t matter with whom, she does have her sights set on KYLE, a promiscuous frat boy at her college.

Unlike her friends, YASMEEN CARTERS has had sex- with men, but it was awful. And due to her experiences, she’s challenged with taking that step with her girlfriend, JESSICA. While Jessica wishes to do more, Yasmeen remains abstinent, too afraid to find out that she doesn’t like sex at all, and possibly lose Jessica in the process. JADE RIVERA, Yasmeen's friend from her internship, doesn’t understand Yasmeen's choice, but Jade has her own issues when ADAM from work asks her on a date. It’s no secret he’s been pining after her, and though Jade thinks he’s great, she can’t say yes. In her eyes, Adam is ‘husband material,’ and she’s too young to settle down.

As the weeks go on, Stephanie and her mother are at a stalemate, but Stephanie can’t wait any longer. She’s going to have sex on prom night, as her high school friend suggested. However, trouble occurs when Stephanie's boyfriend doesn’t seem to be as ready as she is. Over at college, Ella too is having issues, after coming to realize that maybe giving it away to just anybody isn’t the best idea. Not getting the hint, Kyle continues to pursue Ella aggressively.

In the coming weeks, Yasmeen ignores talking about sex, until a friend tells her that she needs to stop doubting Jessica. That if Jessica loves her, she’ll love her regardless of possibly being asexual or not. Yasmeen agrees that there’s no excuse anymore, she’s going to give herself over to Jessica completely. Jade is happy for Yasmeen’s revelation, even though she isn’t happy at the moment. The past weeks for Jade consisted of avoiding Adam’s feelings, while also dating another guy. But the longer Jade was with him, the more she wished he was Adam. Jade tried to keep her emotions to herself, but once she lost her virginity with the other man, the whole charade collapsed in on itself.

Stephanie is no better, as the disappointment towards her mother is weighing her down. Not to mention, when prom does arrive, CHRIS admits that he doesn’t want to have sex with Stephanie that night. Chris wants their first time to be special, and losing it during a prom after party, isn’t his idea of that. Meanwhile, college for Ella is coming to a close, and she wants to spend the last party of the semester with her closest friends. At the party, Ella is immensely drunk and runs into Kyle, who she had been steering clear as of late. Once Kyle has Ella in his sights, he drags her into a separate room, where he attempts to rape her. Luckily, just before ‘attempts’ becomes ‘succeeds,’ one of Ella's friends saves her.

In the same week, Jade regrets losing it to someone she never cared about, and stays home from work with guilt. When Yasmeen comes over later, Jade confesses her feelings for Adam, and how she knows she owes him an apology for her actions. On the following day at work, Jade convinces Adam to talk with her, and afterwards, he admits that he’s hurt by what Jade said, but also respects her for being honest about what happened. They decide that if things are to work out between them, however, they need to rebuild their friendship first. In addition to working things out, Stephanie’s mother plans a graduation party for her, as a peace offering. As their communication progresses, stress decreases in Stephanie’s life. And on the night before the grad party, Stephanie and Chris finally go all the way.

 

The day of the grad party, Ella is better than she has been in weeks, having been pulling herself back together after the incident. While Ella is talking with Stephanie, Stephanie's cousin Jessica joins their group with her girlfriend Yasmeen, who knows Ella from one of their college classes. As they talk about the weird coincide, Stephanie's brother Adam introduces the girl he brought along...Jade. But when Stephanie brings Jade over to meet the girls, Stephanie’s even more shocked that once again, they seem to already know each other. This time, finding out that Jade also works with Yasmeen. The five girls laugh at their bizarre connections, and though they’re unaware, it’s the first time in a while they’re all genuinely happy.

During the middle of the party, Stephanie is pulled from the group by her mother, who prepared to give a speech. As the party attendees gather around, her mother tells of how proud she is of Stephanie, who’s grown up beautifully- without her mother's help. Her mother's words procure Stephanie to do the same, speaking to the crowd about how despite certain difficulties, she’s prepared for the next chapter in her life, college. She also talks of how she still loves her family very much, causing her mother to pull her into a hug at the end of her speech. As they're tangled in the embrace, her mother promises aloud, “We’re gonna be okay,” and for Stephanie, that's everything she ever needed to know. That they’re going to be okay.



#2 hannahb712

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Posted 30 April 2017 - 11:49 AM

In case people are curious because I've made a few posts, this is my latest version, and the one I currently would like some help with! Thank you!



#3 jscottboyd

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 12:53 PM

Thanks so much for the feedback on my synopsis. I had a read of yours as well. I've read that synopsis should be around the 500 word mark. I think yours in close to 1000. You mention that the end that all Stephanie ever wanted was needing to know things were going to be OK. That is the only place this in mentioned in the summary. From the intro it sounds like her biggest want is losing her virginity. I think the former is definitely more interesting. My suggestion would be to bring that into the intro. The synopsis feels very much like a play by play of the book and less a synthesis of the character arcs/plot. I really struggle with this myself. I try to just tell the book, but shorter. There are so many characters that I had a hard time following. I know in the end when they all come together it's important, but not sure if you need to tell about every character.

 

What does stephanie want? In the beginning it sounds like to lose her virginity, but clearly it's more than that.

What is so difficult about her relationship with her mother? 

When her mother says we're gonna be OK. Why is that such a big deal to Stephanie? What does she fear. What does not being OK look like?







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