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Hook| Dreamseer (YA Fantasy)

Fantasy Multi-Cultural Romance Young Adult Adventure

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#1 NoraP

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 08:17 AM

Hey there! This is for a Middle East fantasy of mine. Any tips would be appreciated =)

 

A bandit named Kesara is tasked with delivering a dremseer to the Emperor in hopes of ending the rule of a bloodthirsty cult.

 

 

 



#2 JoQwerty

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 10:25 AM

Your hook is missing a few key components, namely, what are the obstacles and what is at stake.

 

What is stopping Kesara from delivering the dremseer to the Emperor? What obstacles stand in his way? Why is this task is so difficult?

 

What is at stake? What happens if he fails? What happens if he acts like a typical bandit and abandons the quest halfway through?



#3 Niambi

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Posted 04 May 2017 - 04:16 PM

Yes, I agree with JoQwerty. Definitely need:

1.) MC's goals
2.) What's stopping him/her from obtaining them?
3.) What the MC needs to do to overcome the obstacle.

I love that it's got a Middle East flare to it. The best hooks I've read find a way to add world elements without being wordy.

Desert theif Kesara needs/wants ________ and in order to get it he/she must deliver (smuggle? Since the MC is a bandit) the Dremseer to the Emporer (Sultan?) or end up at the hands of the ___________





Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Fantasy, Multi-Cultural, Romance, Young Adult, Adventure

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