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The Timekeeper (YA paranormal romance) Revision at #60 - I will critique back

Young Adult Romance

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#61 Ireth


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Posted 29 August 2017 - 12:29 PM

This version is almost the same but I have a couple of questions. 

First of all, I have checked that 'devoted to + gerund' is the correct form, but I would like to know if any native English speaker can help me.

Second, I would be really grateful if you told me the line 'Struggling to adjust to the life out of hiding' is grammatically correct.

Thank you so much for your help :)



Seventeen-year-old Erica is a timekeeper, capable of stealing people's lifetime. Whenever she is injured, she uses that time to accelerate her healing process rather than letting the natural procedure work.


An evil timekeeper’s ambition to take her father’s throne resulted in her family’s death when her mother was carrying her. Her survival shattered Daray’s (it's not immediately clear that Daray is the evil timekeeper) plan, putting him on the path to find and kill the last heir to the throne. Raised in secret and cut off from the world, now she’s determined to compensate for the life she wasted in fear.


When Erica struggles to adjust to the life out of hiding, she receives the help of a classmate named Kyle. As he helps her to connect to the world, he cannot help but fall for her. His presence gives her a sense of security, making her believe she has a shot at happiness as her feelings for Kyle grow.


However, her happy days don’t last long are over when Daray shows up at Kyle’s doorstep, threatening him to deliver Erica. Watching as her life falls apart before her eyes, Erica discovers that Kyle is part of an old circle devoted to eliminating all timekeepers. 


With Kyle’s life at stake and the revelation of his true self, Erica finds herself torn, unable to make a decision must choose: sacrifice the boy who dared to love her or stay and risk her life for him(comma) knowing he has the power to end her.

There's too much blood in my tea system. Time to put the kettle on.




All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!



Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/



Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/



Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Young Adult, Romance

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