Dear literary agent,
Zadok cannot remember anything and an entire army wants him dead. (Cool! Maybe a slight tweak for a little more punch: "Zadok cannot remember anything, including why an entire army wants him dead.") I AGREE.. AND LIKE THE AMENDMENT. EXCELLENT, I'M HOOKED!
A week ago, a bomb hit the capital, (silly question, but is it just known as the capital, or does it have a name? If no other name, you probably should capitalize Capital ) I WANT A NAME TOO. but no one remembers it. The bomb was used as a distraction for the memory spell CAST BY THE MAGICAL CREATURES, ALUROS. The attack worked well, but it didn’t go as they
Aluroshad planned because Zadok got away.
The Aluros have been wanting Zadok dead for years.
Zadokhw/she is one of the last forces standing in their way that can stop ( choose ONE of these, both is too much)AGREED them forfrom eliminating all humans. After Human HAVE mistreated magical creatures for hundreds of years AND NOW the Aluros want nothing less than the extinction of the human race. Any magical creatures on the humans’ side shall die as well. WHY? WHO SAYS? EITHER CLARIFY OR LEAVE THIS OUT.
THERE IS HOPE IF Zadok works with an elite force tasked with protecting the world the Millennium – (just the human world?) – to restore his memory and his fighting skills if he wants to stand a chance against the Aluros. If Zadok loses, not only will he die, but every human will die too. After that, the Aluros will not stop killing until every OTHER creature is dead.
MEMORIES FORGOTTEN is a fantasy/adventure novel complete with 114,000 words. As per the guidelines on your website, I am sending ____. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Overall: super cool idea. I would love to see a little more of the creatures vs. humans fleshed out a little bit more. Help raise the stakes/explain the conflict. Also, I'm still wondering if the Aluros is a collective or a race of creatures. Or something different? Hope this helps! Similar points for me. This is so much better and really starting to be attention-grabbing.