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Contemporary romance hook

Fiction Romance Young Adult Chick Lit

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#1 WriterSteph816

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Posted 11 June 2017 - 01:38 PM

 "Statistics show that 42% of marriages end in divorce, marriage isn't the hearts and flowers you see on TV. Forever Yours is a gripping look at a marriage within the first year, a young couple learning to live together and overcome obstacles such as alcoholism and infertility. Throughout their journey they learn about themselves, each other and find the strength to make their marriage last." 

What do y'all think?


 

 

 "You cannot be good all the time, you have to be good when it's time." Rene Angelil

 


#2 Aightball

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Posted 12 June 2017 - 10:19 AM

 "Statistics show that 42% of marriages end in divorce, marriage isn't the hearts and flowers you see on TV. Forever Yours is a gripping look at a marriage within the first year, a young couple learning to live together and overcome obstacles such as alcoholism and infertility. Throughout their journey they learn about themselves, each other and find the strength to make their marriage last." 

What do y'all think?

 

That sounds like my guys if I wrote the book about how they got together!  O.O 

 

But all that aside...this doesn't tell me much about your book.  I see your last two sentences are about the story but how are you going to make your book stand out on a pitch day?  See if you can spice things up a bit...something like:  Marriage isn't all hearts and flowers. [MC] battles the bottle, infertility, and learning to live together to try and beat the odds between divorce and success #Romance #A

 

Or something like that...I don't know your book, so that's a stab in the dark.  But you want it to be quick, concise, and make it stand out.  And make sure you have rooms for your hashtags, too =). 

 

Mine's Rescue Me if you wish to take a look


Most girls are made of
sugar and spice and everything nice; they
screwed up the recipe for me: I'm made of
bat wings and broken things.

Query: http://agentquerycon...rescue-me-lgbt/

Blog: http://aightball.wordpress.com

Synopsis: http://agentquerycon...rescue-me-lgbt/

Twitter Hook(s): http://agentquerycon...rescue-me-lgbt/

Short Story "Anguish", in Winter's Regret: http://www.amazon.co...winter's regret

aertja.jpg


#3 kathleenq

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Posted 10 July 2017 - 02:42 PM

 "Statistics show that 42% of marriages end in divorce, marriage isn't the hearts and flowers you see on TV. (I would only use one of these two parts as an opener, they don't really go together and not really necessary) Forever Yours is a gripping look at a marriage within the first year, a young couple learning to live together and overcome obstacles such as alcoholism and infertility. Throughout their journey they learn about themselves, each other and find the strength to make their marriage last." 

What do y'all think?

It's a good start, but should be shortened. I do think Aightball's example sounds catchier and tighter


Synopsis: Glass Domes


#4 Keeppositive

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 06:16 PM

I agree with the comments and I would add that the hook would be more surprising to have " all within the first year" at the end somehow. Maybe...

 

"Statistics show that 42% of marriages end in divorce, marriage and isn't the hearts and flowers you see on TV. Forever Yours is a gripping looks at features (?)a marriage within the first year, a young couple learning to live together and overcome obstacles such as alcoholism and infertility, all within the first year Throughout their journey they learn about themselves, each other and find the strength to make their marriage last."

 

Not sure if you could also strike out the last sentence totally or if that would make it too short or vague.



#5 punitrastogi

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Posted 10 August 2017 - 04:47 AM

 "Statistics show that 42% of marriages end in divorce, marriage isn't the hearts and flowers you see on TV. Forever Yours is a gripping look at a marriage within the first year, a young couple learning to live together and overcome obstacles such as alcoholism and infertility. Throughout their journey they learn about themselves, each other and find the strength to make their marriage last." 

What do y'all think?

X and Y face hardships like(?) alcoholism and infertility <early/late/or timeframe> into their marriage. Now they must lean on each other to find the zeal, strength, and love to find their own happily ever after. (i know its cliched, but its indicative)

 

Hope it helps.

 

Please have a look at my hook too.



#6 RosieSkye

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Posted 10 August 2017 - 05:14 PM

 "Statistics show that 42% of marriages end in divorce, marriage isn't the hearts and flowers you see on TV. (Don't start with stats, especially well-known ones - start with your MC.) Forever Yours is a gripping look at a marriage within the first year, a young couple learning to live together and overcome obstacles such as alcoholism and infertility. Throughout their journey they learn about themselves, each other and find the strength to make their marriage last." (This is a mini-synopsis rather than a hook.)

What do y'all think?

 

 

The two things that jump out to me here are alcoholism and infertility.  Those should be the lynchpins of your hook.  "On their wedding day, Sarah and John planned to spend their lives gooey in love, surrounded by a huge family.  But less than a year in, they're battling the bottle, infertility, and each other."

 

And don't talk about how they're going to save their marriage - if you give away your ending up front, the agent won't have any reason to keep reading.



#7 kene

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Posted 25 August 2017 - 04:31 PM

I second RosieSkye. Alcoholism and Infertility stood out to me the most, so put it at the forefront.

 

"With vows that entailed being gooey in love, Kate and Tony have found themselves battling the bottle, infertility and each other, all in the first year."

 

This pulls in all the good advice from those above me plus mine, making it a bit more concise. Hope it helps.







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