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To Sail the Stars

Fantasy Historical Fiction Young Adult Fiction

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#21 lionspaws

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Posted 18 June 2017 - 12:29 PM

Sixteen-year-old Wendy Edavene aches for freedom and purpose, but eighteenth-century London has little to offer the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat. After dark, however, when the candles are snuffed and Father can’t hear, her imagination reigns as she weaves fairy tales for her brothers. Little does she know her life is about to become one. I'm getting mixed feedback about this line, so tell me what you think!

 

After a failed investment, Father drags Wendy, her mother and brothers to the colonies. When their sea voyage goes awry and they are stranded on an island guarded by pirates, Wendy can finally use her wits and intelligence to keep her family intact--and alive. This island has more mysteries than it has flecks of glittering mica, including a boy whose past is the island’s closest guarded secret. Soon, however, Wendy discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest: the mystical Fountain of Youth.

 

As Wendy embraces the freedom offered by the island, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island, a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. If they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel.

 

Thank you for your consideration,


http://agentquerycon...sail-the-stars/

http://agentquerycon...ique-in-return/

 

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain 

"There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds." - G.K. Chesterton 


#22 Sataris

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Posted 18 June 2017 - 04:50 PM

Sixteen-year-old Wendy Edavene aches for freedom and purpose, but eighteenth-century London has little to offer the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat. After dark, however, when the candles are snuffed and Father can’t hear, her imagination reigns as she weaves fairy tales for her brothers. Little does she know her life is about to become one. I'm getting mixed feedback about this line, so tell me what you think!

 

 

I personally like it. If it fits the tone of your book, go for it.

 

After a failed investment, Father drags Wendy, her mother and brothers and her family to the (american? though this may be obvious) colonies. When their sea voyage goes awry and they are stranded on an island guarded by pirates, Wendy can finally this implies that she's been waiting to use her wits and intelligence to keep her family together/alive use her wits and intelligence to keep her family intact--and alive. This island has more mysteries than it has flecks of glittering mica, including a boy whose past is the island’s closest guarded secret. Soon, however, Wendy discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest: the mystical Fountain of Youth.

 

As Wendy embraces the freedom offered by the island, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island, a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. If they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel.

 

Thank you for your consideration,

 

I like how much more concise this has become, definitely getting better


No active query!


#23 dragoness

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Posted 19 June 2017 - 04:50 AM

The story sounds great!  :smile:

 

It's an adventure story, not a James Joyce's story, so I think you better focus on the adventure and not on the MC's inner needs (which are boring in a query).

 

I commented and suggested along that line, and I hope it'll help: 

Eighteenth-century London has little to offer Wendy Edavene, the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat. After dark, however, sixteen-year-old Wendy weaves fairy tales for her brothers, without knowing her life is about to become one. ("aches for freedom and purpose" and "when the candles are snuffed and Father can’t hear, her imagination reigns as she" are too banal, IMO. Start with your story's uniqueness.)

 

After a failed investment, Father drags Wendy's family, her mother and brothers to the colonies. When their sea voyage goes awry and they are stranded on an island guarded by pirates, Wendy can finally should use her wits and intelligence to keep her family intact--and alive. This island has more mysteries than it has flecks of glittering mica, including a boy whose past is the island’s closest guarded secret. Soon, however, Wendy discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest: the mystical Fountain of Youth.

 

As Wendy embraces the freedom offered by the island, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island, a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. If they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke. (great ending!)

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult what is the genre? Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel.

 

Thank you for your consideration,



#24 Vio Liddell

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 04:43 AM

I kind of agree with Dragoness about the hook. I'd personally rephrase this way: Eighteenth-century London has little to offer Wendy Edavene, the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat. After dark, however, when the candles are snuffed and Father can’t hear (because I like this bit)sixteen-year-old Wendy weaves fairy tales for her brothers. Little does she know her life is about to become one. (and this one too!)

 

After a failed investment, Father drags Wendy and her family to the colonies. When their sea voyage goes awry and they are stranded on an island guarded by pirates, Wendy can finally use her wits and intelligence to keep her family together--and alive. This island has more mysteries than it has flecks of glittering mica. including a boy whose past is the island’s closest guarded secret. Soon, however, Wendy discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest: the mystical Fountain of Youth.

 

As Wendy embraces the freedom offered by the island (physical freedom? Freedom of thought?), rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island--a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. If they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel.

 

Thank you for your consideration,

 

Hey, I think your query is almost ready! This is very good overall (and well-written).

 

I've updated my own query if you're interested: http://agentquerycon...fantasy-rev-30/



#25 Nonicks

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Posted 21 June 2017 - 05:44 AM

Sixteen-year-old Wendy Edavene aches for freedom and purpose, but eighteenth-century London has little to offer the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat. After dark, however, when the candles are snuffed and Father can’t hear, her imagination reigns as she weaves fairy tales for her brothers. Little does she know her life is about to become one. I'm getting mixed feedback about this line, so tell me what you think!

 

After a failed investment, Father drags Wendy, her mother and brothers to the colonies. I paused here because all of a sudden you switch from Wendy, your MC, to her father, and I don't want to hear about him because he's not the hero. When their sea voyage goes awry and they are stranded on an island guarded by pirates, Wendy can finally use her wits and intelligence to keep her family intact--and alive. This island has more mysteries than it has flecks of glittering mica, including a boy whose past is the island’s closest guarded secret. Soon, however, Wendy discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest: the mystical Fountain of Youth.

 

As Wendy embraces the freedom offered by the island, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island, a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. If they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel.

 

Thank you for your consideration,

 

I agree with Dragoness, there's nothing special/unique in here. I'd try to find what's special about Wendy's character and concentrate on that. 



#26 kwmags

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Posted 22 June 2017 - 09:26 AM

Sixteen-year-old Wendy Edavene aches for freedom and purpose, but eighteenth-century London has little to offer the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat. After dark, however, when the candles are snuffed and Father can’t hear, her imagination reigns as she weaves fairy tales for her brothers. Little does she know her life is about to become one. I'm getting mixed feedback about this line, so tell me what you think! I like this line, it makes me want to read more. Its vague, but maybe thats what you need so that you are not giving too much confusing detail in the first paragraph. 

 

After a failed investment, Father drags Wendy, her mother and brothers to the colonies is it The Colonies, capitalize if its a name of a place. When their sea voyage goes awry and they are stranded on an island guarded by pirates. Wendy must can finally use her wits and intelligence to keep her family intact--and alive.  This island has more mysteries than it has flecks of glittering mica So i had to look up mica because I know nothing of rocks, is there another phrase you can use?, including a boy whose past is the island’s closest guarded secret. Soon, however, Wendy discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest: the mystical Fountain of Youth.

 

As Wendy embraces the freedom offered by the island is she really free? I thought she was constantly trying to protect her parents/family, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island, a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes Don't need to over describe him. . If they succeed, she will have a home forever. If they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel. This is said perfectly

 

This is an excellent query! I didn't read your other ones, but I think what you came to is excellent. I just put in a few things to think about, but really I don't see need to change it. Good luck! If you have time my query is at http://agentquerycon...interchangeable

 



#27 speedchuck

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Posted 26 June 2017 - 10:09 AM

Sixteen-year-old Wendy Edavene aches for freedom and purpose, but eighteenth-century London has little to offer the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat. After dark, however, when the candles are snuffed and Father can’t hear, her imagination reigns as she weaves fairy tales for her brothers. Little does she know her life is about to become one. I'm getting mixed feedback about this line, so tell me what you think!

 

The last line bothers me. "Little did/does she know" is such an overused term. I feel like that could be rephrased to make the hook stronger.

 

After a failed investment, Father drags Wendy, her mother and brothers to the colonies. When their sea voyage goes awry and they are stranded on an island guarded by pirates, Wendy can finally use her wits and intelligence to keep her family intact--and alive. This island has more mysteries than it has flecks of glittering mica, including a boy whose past is the island’s closest guarded secret. Soon, however, Wendy discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest: the mystical Fountain of Youth.

 

Mica is rather obscure to use as a point of comparison. I would expect "more mysteries than grains of sand"

 

As Wendy embraces the freedom offered by the island, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island Why defend it?, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island, a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. So the brits can't use it, but she can? How selfish! And what happened to her family? If they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom Being trapped on an island doesn't sound super free. and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel.

 

Thank you for your consideration,

 

For the most part, I like it! The wording flows, and the query is very soundly written. I don't really have any overall issues to add to that above. Good luck!



#28 lionspaws

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Posted 04 July 2017 - 12:31 PM

Sixteen-year-old Wendy Edavene dreams of opportunity and independence, but eighteenth-century London has little to offer the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat. Only after dark, when the candles are snuffed and Father can’t hear, can she escape into the fairy tales she weaves for her brothers. Little does she know her life is about to become one. 

 

After a failed investment, Wendy’s family embarks for the New World. But when their sea voyage goes awry and they are stranded on an island guarded by pirates, Wendy uses her wits and intelligence as she fights to keep her family intact--and alive. For this island has more mysteries than it has grains of glittering sand, including a boy whose past is the island’s most closely guarded secret. Soon, however, Wendy discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest: the mystical Fountain of Youth.

 

As Wendy embraces her new life, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island, a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. If they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel.

 

Thank you for your consideration,


http://agentquerycon...sail-the-stars/

http://agentquerycon...ique-in-return/

 

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain 

"There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds." - G.K. Chesterton 


#29 JeffJustWrites

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Posted 04 July 2017 - 12:36 PM

I like it.  A lot. 

 

Had to look up "mica" though. Well played haha

 

JJW


My Perpetually Metamorphosing Query

 

At vahrai u ihlókéon. At u Atavithion. 


#30 lionspaws

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Posted 04 July 2017 - 12:41 PM

Thank you! A lot of people have said that about mica, I just can't find something else that doesn't seem as cliche as grains of sand. I'm up for suggestions :) 

I like it.  A lot. 

 

Had to look up "mica" though. Well played haha

 

JJW


http://agentquerycon...sail-the-stars/

http://agentquerycon...ique-in-return/

 

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain 

"There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds." - G.K. Chesterton 


#31 JeffJustWrites

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Posted 04 July 2017 - 12:44 PM

How about 'dust' (as in 'fairydust')?Just to give an echo of the original story.

 

Also, I'm furiously editing my own query for Pitch Wars haha, would very much appreciate your input :)

 

JJW


My Perpetually Metamorphosing Query

 

At vahrai u ihlókéon. At u Atavithion. 


#32 lionspaws

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Posted 04 July 2017 - 12:48 PM

Yes! I like that, thank you! Glad to see someone else also knows their Peter Pan ;) 


http://agentquerycon...sail-the-stars/

http://agentquerycon...ique-in-return/

 

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain 

"There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds." - G.K. Chesterton 


#33 JeffJustWrites

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Posted 04 July 2017 - 01:02 PM

Haha, now all you need is a...wait for it...hook.


My Perpetually Metamorphosing Query

 

At vahrai u ihlókéon. At u Atavithion. 


#34 lionspaws

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Posted 04 July 2017 - 01:09 PM

Ha :) True that. 


http://agentquerycon...sail-the-stars/

http://agentquerycon...ique-in-return/

 

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain 

"There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds." - G.K. Chesterton 


#35 lyncfs

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Posted 04 July 2017 - 01:32 PM

Thanks for your comments on my query. Returning the favor.

 

Sixteen-year-old Wendy Edavene dreams of opportunity and independence, but eighteenth-century London has little to offer the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat. Only after dark, when the candles are snuffed and Father can’t hear, can she escape into the fairy tales she weaves for her brothers. Little does she know her life is about to become one. ​Good scene setting and voice.

 

After a failed investment, Wendy’s family embarks for the New World. But when their sea voyage goes awry and they are stranded on an island guarded by pirates, Wendy uses her wits and intelligence as she fights to keep her family intact--and alive. For this island has more mysteries than it has grains of glittering sand ​(nice turn of phrase), including a boy whose past is the island’s most closely guarded secret. Soon, however, Wendy discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest ​(word choice - maybe animosity?): the mystical Fountain of Youth.

 

As Wendy embraces her new life, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island ​(this phrasing is a little strange - I'm trying to figure out if he is linked to the island somehow--like embodies it), a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. If they fail, the island, Wendy’s ​newfound freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel.

 

Thank you for your consideration,

 

This query is really well written. You just need a little bit of word choice tweaks and I think you have it! Good luck.


THE IMMORTAL GUARD. Link to my query. Please critique, if I have reviewed yours.

#36 hermitage

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Posted 06 July 2017 - 02:02 PM

I think this is a good pitch. It makes it clear what the story is about, and has a good flow. 

 

Sixteen-year-old Wendy Edavene not Darling? aches for freedom and purpose, but eighteenth-century London has little to offer the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat. After dark, however, when the candles are snuffed and Father can’t hear, her imagination reigns as she weaves fairy tales for her brothers. Little does she know her life is about to become one. I'm getting mixed feedback about this line, so tell me what you think! I have mixed feelings too -- not sure. Structurally, I like the idea of doing some foreshadowing here. But this line as written does sound a little too familiar maybe.

 

After a failed investment, wasn't he bankrupt already? Father drags Wendy, her mother and brothers to the colonies. When their sea voyage goes awry and they are stranded on an island guarded by pirates, Wendy can finally use her wits and intelligence to keep her family intact--and alive. This island has more mysteries than it has flecks of glittering mica, including a boy whose past is the island’s closest guarded secret. Soon, however, Wendy discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest: the mystical Fountain of Youth. (are there non-mystical fountains of youth? ;-)

 

As Wendy embraces the freedom offered by the island, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island, a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. If they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan maybe this should be in caps like the other titles? retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel.

 

Thank you for your consideration,



#37 lionspaws

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Posted 06 July 2017 - 04:53 PM

Hi Hermitage, thank you! It's a bit of an origin story so Wendy's last name actually becomes Darling through the book -- but good catch :) 

 

I think this is a good pitch. It makes it clear what the story is about, and has a good flow. 


http://agentquerycon...sail-the-stars/

http://agentquerycon...ique-in-return/

 

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain 

"There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds." - G.K. Chesterton 


#38 JeffJustWrites

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Posted 06 July 2017 - 04:58 PM

I actually like that it isn't Darling. It'll be a nice payoff when it is :)


My Perpetually Metamorphosing Query

 

At vahrai u ihlókéon. At u Atavithion. 


#39 lionspaws

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Posted 07 July 2017 - 11:18 AM

Totally new hook -- thoughts? 

 

Sixteen-year-old Wendy Edavene spends her days preparing for her debut and her nights escaping into the fairy tales she weaves for her brothers. Eighteenth-century London has little to offer the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat, but when her family is forced to flee for the colonies in financial disgrace, she watches any dreams of freedom crumble.

 

Their sea voyage to the New World goes awry, leaving them stranded on an island guarded by pirates. For once, Wendy can exert her wits and intelligence as she fights to keep her family intact--and alive. For this island has more secrets than it has flecks of glittering fairydust, including a boy whose past is the island’s most closely guarded secret. Soon, however, she discovers the real reason for the pirates’ interest: the mythical Fountain of Youth.

 

As Wendy embraces her challenging, exciting new life, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island, a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. If they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel.

 

Thank you for your consideration,


http://agentquerycon...sail-the-stars/

http://agentquerycon...ique-in-return/

 

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain 

"There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds." - G.K. Chesterton 


#40 bkarperien

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Posted 07 July 2017 - 01:24 PM

Totally new hook -- thoughts? 

 

Sixteen-year-old Wendy Edavene spends her days preparing for her debut, but her nights are reserved for escaping into the fairy tales she weaves for her brothers (I like the hook, but I think you could spice it up a bit, the days and nights thing is a little stale.). and her nights escaping into the fairy tales she weaves for her brothers. Eighteenth-century London has little to offer the daughter of a bankrupt would-be aristocrat, and Wendy dreams of a life where she can use her wits and not just her wiles, a life where she can be free. But when her family is forced to flee for the colonies in financial disgrace, she watches any dreams of freedom crumble.

 

Until their sea voyage to the New World goes awry, leaving her family stranded on an island guarded by pirates. For once, Wendy can exert her wits and intelligence as she fights to keep her family both intact and alive. For this island has more mysteries than it has flecks of glittering fairydust, including a boy whose past is the island’s most closely guarded secret. Soon, however, she discovers why the pirates guard this island: it is home to the mythical Fountain of Youth.

There is a change between these two paragraphs. You go from Wendy defending her family to defending the island and the people we assume were previously threatening her family. What brought about that change? Why is she no longer concerned with keeping her family intact and alive? From the previous paragraph, it would make more sense for her to want the British ships to rescue her.

 

But as Wendy embraces her challenging, exciting new life, rumors of the Fountain reach England and the navy arrives with cannons blazing. To defend the island, Wendy will need the help of a fierce native princess, a one-handed pirate, and a boy whose heart beats in tune with the island, a boy with wind in his hair and stars in his eyes. If they succeed, she will have a home forever. But i f they fail, the island, Wendy’s freedom and everyone she has come to care about will be devoured in a cloud of gunpowder and smoke. Nice stakes.

 

TO SAIL THE STARS is a young adult Peter Pan retelling, complete at XXX words, that melds the magic of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE with the riveting historical fiction of BLACKHEARTS. I am an elementary school teacher with a degree in Early American History. This is my debut novel. Not necessary :)

 

Thank you for your consideration,

Love this. Sounds like a well plotted work, and I love the concept. And the title. This query is looking pretty good, could just use a little touching up in a few spots, and then there's that issue between the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs. If you get a chance, please check out my query!


Check out my query :)

Or, if you're really awesome, check out my synopsis.

 






Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Fantasy, Historical Fiction, Young Adult, Fiction

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