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Query that got me my agent


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#1 scubasteve4

scubasteve4

    Gone Writing

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  • Publishing Experience:My debut novel BATTERY BROTHERS is due out with Elephant's Bookshelf Press on March 30, 2014.

Posted 24 June 2017 - 01:43 PM

I wasn't so sure I'd ever be able to start a new topic in this thread. I'd racked up hundreds and hundreds of rejections from literary agents on various projects over the years. I hoped my latest project would be the one. Nope. I got some requests, but they all ended in rejections. I did a major rewrite of the story and tested my luck again. More rejections. Then I got a few full requests. But I'd been down that road before. I wasn't holding my breath. When I got an email reply from an agent who had the full, I was sure it was a rejection. Instead, it was a request to set up a call. The Call. I ended up getting an offer. Then I contacted other agents who had the full, and within days I had multiple offers to consider. Nothing for years, then multiple offers within days. Funny how life works. Anyway, here's the query. The request rate on it wasn't great, but it served its purpose in getting a few agents to actually read the entire book. A huge thanks to everyone from this site who helped me along the way. 

 

Dear XXXXX,
 
After losing his twin brother and his right hand in a car crash, thirteen-year-old Kyle struggles to return to baseball and fulfill the dream he and his brother once shared—winning the Brookhaven Invitational Baseball Tournament.
 
Although he misses his brother, Kyle practices pitching and batting one-handed each day with Fernanda—his catcher and supportive friend. All the hard work appears wasted when his coach and several of his teammates bail, which leaves his team ineligible to compete in the tournament. It’s game on, though, when Kyle convinces his estranged dad to take over as coach and his troublemaker cousin joins the team as the ninth player.
 
As Kyle leads his ragtag club toward the championship, he develops a crush on Fernanda and grows close to his father and cousin. When Kyle settles a score with a bully by whiffing him each at bat and bouncing his team from the tournament, he thinks the torment from him is over. He thought wrong. The bully pulls a nasty prank on Kyle a few hours before the big game, and Kyle must choose between keeping the dream alive and keeping his family together.
 
I am a professional copywriter, and a former marketing manager and college baseball player.
 
Complete at 48,000 words, my middle grade contemporary manuscript THE WINDUP will appeal to readers of Mike Lupica's "Comeback Kids” novels. I have pasted a sample below. May I send you the finished manuscript? Thank you for your time and consideration. 
 
Best regards,

http://www.stevencarman.com
 

BatteryBros3.jpg

 

Published: March 30, 2014
Elephant's Bookshelf Press


#2 LucidDreamer

LucidDreamer

    Pragmatic Dreamer

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  • Literary Status:published, agented
  • LocationUS Southeast
  • Publishing Experience:Blue Ridge Library Mystery series, written as Victoria Gilbert. 1st book -- A MURDER FOR THE BOOKS -- releasing from Crooked Lane Books in December 2017. Book Two -- SHELVED UNDER MURDER -- will be published in July 2018 and untitled as of yet book three in Jan. or Feb. 2019.

Posted 24 June 2017 - 01:49 PM

It's great! I see why it succeeded. Congrats again, Steve!



#3 scubasteve4

scubasteve4

    Gone Writing

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 406 posts
  • Literary Status:just starting, published, agented
  • LocationUS Northeast
  • Publishing Experience:My debut novel BATTERY BROTHERS is due out with Elephant's Bookshelf Press on March 30, 2014.

Posted 24 June 2017 - 01:54 PM

It's great! I see why it succeeded. Congrats again, Steve!

Thank you, Vicki!!


http://www.stevencarman.com
 

BatteryBros3.jpg

 

Published: March 30, 2014
Elephant's Bookshelf Press





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