The BRAND NEW QUERY IN #48:
I've been getting a lot of rejections recently, which has really fired me up to perfect this query letter. I've put more time into it, shown it to friends, family, and mentors IRL, and would love your critique. Most importantly, does the first sentence sound too clunky or does it draw you in? I've heard both. Remember, critique my work, and I'll mercilessly critique yours! Thanks!
Dear agent, Practitioner of the magic arts Jesse Demir works as an occult consultant for pulpy horror movies in modern day Los Angeles. Jesse is ecstatic after landing a job on Christmas slasher flick, "Ho Ho Hell 2," but when a mysterious new practitioner tries to summon a demon on set, Jesse is forced to face a debt from the past. Jesse owes his life to supernatural forces, and unless he can uncover the dark practitioner and stop her from summoning his unholy creditors, he’s a dead man walking. To make matters worse, lone-wolf Jesse is forced to take on an apprentice. Struggling to stay afloat in the world of the occult, Jesse turns to “A Practitioner's Guide” for help, a handbook full of tips and tricks to make it as a sorcerer. Past, present, and future are revealed as Jesse faces his demons. Literally. Open up Google and you’ll find thousands of websites and blogs about the occult, wicca, and the supernatural. Despite what most people will tell you, real magic is alive and well today, whether or not you believe in its power. But how can an everyday schmuck get a peek into this secret world? Not to worry. Now, there's a guide for that. On this noir romp through the supernatural underbelly of Los Angeles, readers meet modern werewolves, wiccans, nosferatu, and terrifying ghouls. And doves. There are lots of doves. A PRACTITIONER’S GUIDE TO LOVE AND MAGICK is a new adult urban fantasy novel complete at 70,000 words. Picture “The Dresden Files” meets “A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy”, with a sprinkle of “Fight Club” on top. I currently study at Cornell University, with a focus on creative writing. While researching I had the opportunity to be on the sets of horror movies and meet with actual occult consultants, providing me with unique insight into this mysterious world. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely,