First 250 of... Namless
Posted 02 July 2017 - 05:21 PM
“Little girls don’t survive in the woods.”
Those were words my mama hammered into my head from the time I first toddled, and tempered with tales to keep my feet from the underbrush.
Wolves ripped muscles from the legs of foolish children, and ate their guts while the poor soul looked on. If a wolf didn’t get you, witches hid in piles of leaves or stalked among the branches, just waiting for a child whose loss of wits suffered them to get lost. Witches incinerated folks, storing their spirits in jars while using their dust in evil concoctions.
I never did see no wolf, though I heard them singing some nights, and the witches were rarer still. But I believed. The woods terrified me, and I clung to mama’s hem every time we drew close.
I was five years old when she took me to them same woods in the dead of night. She kneeled, grabbed my shoulders, looked me dead in the eye, and said, “Run, Elilês. Don’t let your father and them priests catch you. Run, and never come back.”
I cried first, then I ran. My feet wanted to make a big loop, take me home to the only place I ever knew. My child’s mind tried to convince me I could hide under the floorboards, find comfort in the sound of their voices even if I could never let them see me again. The animal inside of me knew I needed distance and shelter to survive.
Posted 09 October 2017 - 09:21 PM
I like this, but I think you could cut the first 4 paragraphs. The last two make a killer hook.
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