I've been sending out my query to some agents and getting no bites. I think my query is really strong based on the feedback I've got, so it might be my sample pages that aren't grabbing people. I've revised them a ton, but I still think the beginning isn't quite where it needs to be. I'd appreciate any feedback on the opener, and I'll gladly take a look at your 250 words in exchange. Thanks!
I’ve known I was an illegal since I turned twelve. When I walked up to class that morning and saw my name posted on the list by the door, I realized everyone else would soon find out the truth, too.
They had scheduled me for a mandatory blood test in the nurse’s office at ten-thirty the next morning. Once my blood came back as positive I’d be totally screwed. They normally tested us at birth, and again when we reached puberty. Somehow, I had slipped through the cracks. Until now.
I stood in the school hallway as the others kids passed back and forth, wishing I could reach through the glass and tear up the sheet. There were a couple of other names on there. I wondered if they felt as scared as I did. Probably not. The chances were their tests would come back negative, and I would be the only one taken away.
I sat with my friend Journey at lunch shorty after seeing the list, my mind still reeling from the news. We were both sophomores at Kurtzberg High, and she was the only person I’d call a friend, but like nearly everyone she was unaware of my illegal status. She didn't even notice how little I talked about myself. Normally, it was the perfect relationship. Except, for once, I wanted to talk about myself, to tell her about the test the next day and get some reassurance it was nothing. But I was afraid to even bring it up.