Here are the first 250 words of my book. In querying, I've gotten rejections saying that agents were not "Engaged enough" by the first chapter. How can I make this more engaging?
Also, my first chapter has a different tone than the rest of the book's usually upbeat, light-hearted voice. I tried to set the scene in conflict, to draw the reader in and raise the stakes.
I will critique you, if you critique me.
Staring off the edge of a skyscraper, nothing else matters. I don’t care about my job. I don’t care about my future. I don’t care about the deadly explosions ripping through downtown Los Angeles. I don’t even care about that organic quart of ice-cream I forgot to put in the fridge, which by now is probably a puddle of goo. Six Hundred and Sixty feet up, there is no noise. Just ringing in my ears and a whole lot of peace.