Current version here.
This is probably a bit convoluted at this point, so I'm counting on y'all to tell me where, exactly, it breaks apart for you:
When DESTINY CURRY was ten years old, she was visited in the night by a mysterious hand emerging from the mug of water she kept beside her bed. The hand warned her that there was a monster in her room. Destiny managed to defeat the abominable creature with the help of her visitor, who left behind a golden coin.
Six years later, the coin remains Destiny's secret. She tells people the story of how she acquired it all the time, but only because she knows they'll never believe it. It's a fun diversion from her own life, which is plagued with a banal high school faculty and an underwhelming girl bully who tries to get her to wear makeup. Her mother assures her that she will do something amazing someday, but advises that in the meantime she should keep her head down and stop getting into stupid fights with stupid people. It's almost demoralizing enough for the girl to give up hope that her name would ever stop feeling deeply ironic.
Soon afterward, a strange woman drops an anchor through her school's ceiling and makes off with Destiny's treasured coin. Destiny chases her as she flees to the girls' room, catching up in time to see her jump straight down a toilet. The girl jumps right in after her without stopping to think.
Destiny finds herself in a vast ocean dotted with tropical islands, and the path has closed behind her. She is pulled aboard a ship straight out of the Golden Age of Piracy, save for its gigantic set of squid tentacles. This ship is the Rebecca, flagship of the Buccaneer fleet and pride of CAPTAIN HOBBES. Though Destiny is welcomed warmly, she persists to demand her coin back from the fierce and beautiful TANKINI MARLIN, Hobbes's first mate.
It becomes clear that it was Tankini who first appeared to Destiny through her mug six years ago. They explain that the coin is more than just a shiny trinket, representing a source of power that the pirate fleets of the Wild Blue need to wage their war against the Wyrd gods. Centuries ago, these eldritch abominations used to have free run of the mortal realm, spiriting away humans for their own unfathomable purposes. Some of these humans managed to escape their masters and steal portions of their power, using these relics to form the four pirate fleets. They have lived ever since in the Wild Blue, an ocean that lies between the mortal realm and the realm of the Wyrd, living the lives of pirates as the serve as humankind's only line of defense against the dark gods.
Unfortunately, the Buccaneer fleet is now hard up for resources; a recent ambush from the Wyrd god, Kraken, has reduced their roster to nothing but Hobbes, Tankini, and the Rebecca. This means it'll take some time before they can send Destiny back home. This doesn't bother Destiny, though, since she doesn't intend to leave until she at least gets to pilot the tentacled ship.
It is thus that Destiny gets caught up in an encounter with NAUT, a ruthless creature of Kraken's design. Naut demands the Buccaneer's surrender, and the return of the Kraken Relic. They manage to repel Naut's fleet and send Destiny on her way, but not before the girl can attract a little too much of the creature's attention.
Destiny goes home, worried that she may never see the Wild Blue again. Her fears are allayed in horrible fashion when Naut appears and transforms her mother into a golden coin. He informs her that she might get her back if she finds a way to steal the Kraken Relic back from the Buccaneers.
Hobbes takes Destiny into his protection, and together they set about trying to concoct a way to defeat Naut. The only way to kill an immortal enemy, Hobbes tells her, is to find some mortality. They therefore make haste to the Maelstrom Market, a place where absolutely anything can be bought or sold.
All who visit the Maelstrom Market are there at the pleasure of the mermaids, eldritch creatures who deal in humanity as easily as they deal in apples and oranges. The mermaids have one rule: Everything can be given, but nothing can be taken. Anyone who tries to take something that isn't being offered no longer enjoys the protection of the market, and everything they own is forfeit to the mermaids. Destiny gets a gruesome lesson in this when a pirate from the rival Corsair fleet tries to kidnap her and immediately disintegrates into nothing.
The market doesn't have any mortality in stock, but they get pointed in the right direction. They strike out on the open ocean again, plundering ships, swindling rivals, and digging up buried treasure to eke out every advantage they can get. All the while, Destiny struggles with an unthinkable choice; she could save her mother, but in doing so assure the fall of the Buccaneers and the probably victory of the Wyrd gods, or she could keep the world safe from the Wyrd and most likely never see her mother again.
When it becomes clear that the Kraken Relic has been compromised, Destiny is sent out by herself to retrieve it from its hiding place. After a tangle with one of the Wyrd's minions, she retrieves the relic but accidentally swallows it.
Things are looking bleak as the final showdown with Naut nears. The Rebecca is listing, Tankini is hobbled, and, though they managed to acquire a bottle of mortality, they have no reliable way of delivering it. Naut sees through their first ruse, taking the mortality and casting it overboard. Destiny flees belowdecks, where Naut engages her in battle.
She holds him off for as long as she can, but Naut is too strong for her. He pins her against the wall and reaches down her throat to reclaim the Kraken Relic. The moment he does, though, he begins to come apart. In a fury, he flies back up onto the deck to discover that the ship had pulled into the Maelstrom Market when he wasn't looking. Now, having broken the one rule of the market, he is ripe for salvage by the mermaids.
Destiny is carried along for the ride as Naut flies away, trying vainly to escape his doom. He ceases to exist miles above the ocean's surface, leaving Destiny to fall. The girl slips out of consciousness, content that she managed to save her mother.
Destiny wakes to find that she had been rescued by the airborne ships of the Viking fleet. The Viking queen delivers her back to the Buccaneers, pledging unity between the two fleets in the coming struggle against the Wyrd. With her mother freed and the Wyrd believing her to be dead, Destiny is able to return home to safety. However, the Kraken Relic has become fully bonded with her now, so it won't be long before the Buccaneers need to call upon her again.