So it's been an age since I've posted on here. I often forget that synopsis's are sometimes required during the querying process, so I've kind of slapped together a pitiful attempt at one. I could use all the help I can get and appreciate everyone who takes time to help me out. It's long, I know, but like I said, any help will be greatly appreciated.
HAZEL MACCLARE, a young socialite in 1925 New York City, is excited to be playing out her dreams of being a concert pianist. When her best friend, MIMI WATERS, persuades Hazel to a night out in a speakeasy, Hazel, at first, takes an immediate dislike to loud music and alcohol. But the more Mimi gets Hazel to agree to go out, the more Hazel finds that she is enjoying herself.
At the same time, she’s practicing rigorously for the concert and the piece she’s been assigned is proving more difficult than she thought. The longer it takes for Hazel to learn it, the more she begins to see the piano as a chore rather a pleasure. Realizing that the concert isn’t worth losing her passion, Hazel drops out and a final act of severing herself from her childhood dreams, she bobs her hair.
That night, Hazel goes out with Mimi and meets FRANKIE CORCORAN, the singer in a jazz band. They begin to see one another frequently and it isn’t long before Hazel finds herself falling for him. Soon, Hazel is questioning why Mimi disappears, often for hours at a time, when they go out. Frankie explains that Mimi is involved with the owner, WALTER BASSO, and that he’s certain the man is dangerous.
Hazel confronts Mimi about the affair and when Mimi refuses to explain, Hazel gives her an ultimatum: her or Basso. After Mimi chooses Basso, Hazel stops speaking to her, but the day before Hazel’s eighteenth birthday, Mimi telephones Hazel and begs her to go out one last time. Reluctantly, Hazel agrees and they meet up with Frankie. Almost immediately after entering the club, however, Mimi disappears. Deciding to ignore her friend’s absence, Hazel and Frankie dance for hours. It isn’t until much later that Hazel realizes she hasn’t seen Mimi in a while and the two assume that Mimi went home but then spot her weaving through the club, a man close behind her. Sensing danger, Hazel quickly follows with Frankie and the two step outside just in time to hear Mimi yell. The man who had followed Mimi emerges from an alley without Mimi and, after some trepidation, they discover Mimi’s body.
The day of Mimi’s funeral, Hazel is approached by a detective who asks her to join forces in helping to bring down Walter Basso. Though originally uncertain, Hazel eventually agrees once the detective assures her that he has men on the inside who would keep an eye on her. It takes a while for Hazel to gain Basso’s trust, but once she does, it’s not long before he shows her why the police want him. To her surprise—and horror—Basso has her torture people for him.
She confides in Frankie about what she’s been doing and Frankie tells her to back out. When Hazel refuses, Frankie walks away. The longer Hazel stays with Basso, the less certain she will survive. After killing one of Basso’s henchmen in an attempt to save an innocent man, she’s whipped and locked away until Basso releases her a week later. In a further attempt to punish Hazel and knowing that she and Frankie used to date, Basso seizes Frankie and ties him up. He orders Hazel to kill him and she refuses. Basso puts a knife to Frankie’s throat, threatening to kill her after he kills Frankie. Hazel is stalling for time when the detective suddenly arrives.
While everyone is distracted by the raid, Hazel shoots Basso before freeing Frankie. Before Hazel can join in the celebration of defeating Basso, he suddenly grabs her and stabs her. The two fall to the ground and Hazel dies in Frankie’s arms.
If you want to critique my query letter for The Golden Sparrow: http://agentquerycon...orical-fiction/