Doctor Alexandre Duchess thought WE THE PEOPLE (Why is this is capital letters?) was the greatest truth of American history, but a betrayal will expose our broken constitution and the entities we share our planet with. (Good hook. I'm interested so far. - Maybe mention what kind of betrayal though. Was it a government betrayal? A family betrayal?)
Orphans are plagued with
a life long hunger for closure. (The "fore closure" sounded strange to me. - Also, does this mean that Alexandre was an orphan? I'm not sure where this fits in with the story.) So When Doctor Alexandre Duchess (You don't have to state his full name every time. Just one name title after the first will do.) receives a call from his father, he’s incapable of refusing to meet. (Why?) The meet ("The meet" sounds unnatural to me. Perhaps reword that.) is a hunting trip set up in North Dakota, where Alexandre bears witnesses to a UFO hovering in the snow. Alexandre shoots it down, (Why does he shoot at it? Was it hostile?) but finds to encounter (He finds them more than encounters them I think. "encounter" sounds a tad weird to me here.) Americans and an alien in the wreckage. His father –who he remembers to be military (Huh?) – never arrives. (Like he never comes on the trip or he never finds the aliens with Alexandre?) Upon working to save the victims of the crash (With the way it is set up, it means like Alexandre's father helps save the victims when I think it's Alexandre. Show the difference by saying Alexandre's name. Also, why try to save them when he just shot at them?), the U.S Navy invades and takes him into custody.
One mile underground at
and in a Naval black site, human rights no longer apply to Alexandre (It's a new paragraph, so define "he" or "him" for the first time to add clarity.). America’s Navy wants to know how he knew of classified scheduled tests. (What tests?) Alexandre wants to know why his father set him up. (I do too! - Also, how does he know it's a set up? Is it because his father never showed up? I mean, how did his father know he'd shoot down the UFO?) An apartment in the state (What about the apartment?), mail in his name (This doesn't make sense.), an illegal rifle (What about the illegal rifle? Is that what he used to shoot the UFO?), these are the questions for which the U.S Navy demands answers. (That last sentence is confusing. I kind of get what it means, but it's set up strange. I'd reword it. Perhaps something like: "The Navy demands answers to where is apartment is, what's his mailing address, and why does he have an illegal rifle.") When a starved Alexandre cannot answer them, his plan (He doesn't know if breaking out with resolve everything though, so it's more of a plan.) is to break out. Alexandre is caught, beaten and abused under his country’s nose. Don't give it away! Make the reader interested in his break out. What began as a pursuit for his father’s love becomes a struggle for his life.
Growing up on three continents with a father who had high government clearance and studying medicine have informed my work. (Cool info, but I'm not sure it's needed since it's fiction.) THE ORPHAN’S INHERITANCE is a science fiction novel and complete at 110,000 words. <personalization>
Sounds like a great plot! Just work on bringing more clarity to the letter.