I like this version very much!
Here are some comments which might improve it a little, IMO:
Thousands of years ago, Earth became the battleground for a galactic civil war between mythology's gods,
andmonsters, and . If it was not foran aboriginal primate who attained extraordinary abilities , human might have been very different.(I think you need one sentence about the past and one about the present, which makes the past relevant) In modern day Mumbai, twenty-six year old Karan KARAN(as far as I know CAPS are only for synopsis, not query) is living a happy life, until a his chance encounter with Chhaya CHHAYAdissolves the gap between gods and aliens.
Within months, Karan is head over heels for Chhaya,
. Bbut when he begins to tell her how he feels, she reveals herself to be an alien manipulating Karan into liking her. She explains that Karan’s genes possess the ancient aboriginal's power of subjugation through telepathy , one of the eight attainments of the. (the numbers are not interesting, IMO, but him having godly power is.) As Chhaya requests Karan to help find and lead the other possessors, all Karan can think of is her deception and his broken heart. In disbelief and pain, Karan confides in his best friend. But when Karan learns from him that their friendship is a sham created to protect his genes, he gets shattered even further. (I think it should be one paragraph, it's one idea.)
While everything he knew about his life turning out to be a farce, Karan is forced to make a choice: listen to his heart and condemn the ones that lied to him, or ignore his emotions and try to save the galaxy. (Great choice! and well written!)
by fFacing the monsters that even the gods are petrified of . And he needs to do itshould be done quickly, because there is someone else around who wants his powers, and is not waiting for his consent. (This sentence of yours is a great addition, IMO)
The Subjugator is a 100,000 word YA fantasy novel with elements of science-fiction, along with mythology-reality bridge like the Shiva trilogy by Amish Tripathi.
I'd like to see your next version .
I wrote a new version of my query, would you care to look at it? http://agentquerycon...que/?hl=empress