Hey there!So first off, to me, 5 paragraphs is off-putting. Remember that a query from top to bottom needs to be around 250.
When twenty-six-year-old banker Karan asked Chhaya on a date, he intended to ask for her affection. When Chhaya, an alien seductress in human disguise, agreed, she intended to ask for his help in stopping a galactic apocalypse. I like this. They need something from each other .
Karan is bewildered when Chhaya asserts that the ancient battle of Ramayan was actually fought between alien races,
which humans later referred as Gods and Demons.If not for Hanuman, the demons would have won and taken over the galaxy. After the battle, Hanuman’s powers were passed into eight lineages for safe-keeping , should they be needed again.
To Karan’s shock,Chhaya claims he has inherited Hanuman’s dormant power of telepathic subjugation. With the demons mobilizing their forces again on a different planet, Chhaya pleads for Karan’s help to find and lead others like him to stop the impending catastrophe.
Shattered by Chhaya’s deception and manipulation for his powers, Karan confides in his best friend since high school – Harshit. To make matters worse, Harshit confesses that he befriended Karan only to protect the powers – like his ancestors had done with Karan’s.
Not sure if you need this paragraph at all. Adds confusion.
A devastated Karan must muster the strength to work with the people he held closest to his heart – the very ones that deceived and betrayed him. And he needs to recover quickly because there are others who want his power, and unlike Chhaya, they will not wait for his consent.
THE SUBJUGATOR is a 100,000-word science fantasy novel with elements of romance, along with mythology-reality bridge like the Shiva trilogy by Amish Tripathi.
Not sure what the actual conflict is here...I think there was a LOT going on. What is the main problem that needs to be solved...stick to just that instead of more the relationships. Happy to look at it again when you make a new version :)
Hope this helped!