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Beasts Synopsis Adult Fantasy


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#1 T. McLennan

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Posted 06 September 2017 - 01:13 PM

Hi, this is my first attempt at my synopsis.  Any thoughts or critiques are welcome.  Not sure if it's long enough but I was trying to make it tight and to the point.

 

When BEN encounters a Sasquatch, KOLE, he is surprised by the similarities they share and after his life is saved by him they become fast friends.  With his parents still reeling from his brother’s death, the only one Ben can share his experience with is his Uncle SAM, who admits to also having a secret relationship with a Sasquatch named GRIMOL. 

  

Both agree it is imperative that Sasquatch remain hidden in order to preserve their species as humans greatly outnumber them, but when Kole’s brother is almost captured, the hunters come out in full force for reward money posted in the local paper. 

 

 

Grimol and Sam encourage the friendship between Ben and Kole, hoping that the more they learn about each other, the more accepting humans may become of another species living with them openly.  With this in mind, Ben joins Kole on a special rite of passage he must do called a Tribal Walk.  What starts out as an enjoyable and uneventful trip, turns into a race for their lives, as they discover first-hand about hunters.

 

Four years later Ben and Kole are still great friends, but, feeling trapped in their own village, many Sasquatch are becoming increasingly unhappy with their situation and a rebel movement starts to form.

           

Sam tells Grimol that guns have been going missing from hunters and campers leading them to determine that certain sasquatch want to fight the humans.  Meanwhile, Grimol’s son, who is unhappy that his Father chose to mentor Kole to become an elder in the council instead of him, reveals a secret that ends with both Grimol and Kole locked up.

           

Feeling that the Sasquatch need help, Ben comes up with a plan to make people stop trying to capture his friends’ species.  Although the plan ultimately works, it is at a great cost to Ben and with World War II starting, he considers joining.           

           

The Sasquatch council learns that there are tens of thousands more of their species than they thought and a plan starts to form.  Meanwhile Grimol takes the fall for Kole and insists it was all his idea for Kole to meet with a human. 

 

Kole’s brother secretly meets with Ben and Sam to tell them what happened to their friends, but his meeting ends tragically, forever altering Ben and Kole’s friendship.

           

The council decides to let Kole out, but give him a dangerous mission as punishment; to find the other Sasquatch tribes.  With both of their lives changed forever, Ben leaves to fight in the World War and Kole departs on his mission determined to have his own war…with humans.



#2 T. McLennan

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 06:30 PM

So many views but no comments  :sad:   



#3 happy werewolf

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Posted 09 September 2017 - 11:33 AM

Hi! I am very new to all of this and my own synopsis isn't in great shape, but I'll try to help.

Your story sounds really cool! "Harry and the Hendersons" was a favorite movie of mine when I was a kid, so I have a soft spot for the subject matter.

I think your first sentence could be separated into two to make it more clear which character is doing the saving. This will also give you the chance to change the passive portion of the sentence to active ("life is saved by" is passive).

Overall I feel like you're being too general in some places, like saying a secret is revealed but not saying what it is, or saying lives were changed forever, but not saying exactly what occurred. So, my advice is to be more specific about things, and less general. Ben discovers that his life and Kole's are not too different. Maybe give a few examples to color in that statement. Do Sasquatch have annoying younger brothers and overbearing parents, just like humans do? Do Sasquatch speak English? Do they listen to music on their iPods?

Also, I would say right now your synopsis is giving a pretty good sense of the plot, but not a lot of emotion is coming through. (This is something I'm struggling with in my own synopsis, too.) Try diving into how your characters are feeling. What did Ben feel like the first moment he saw a Sasquatch? Did he pee himself in terror, try to run away, scream like a ten-year-old girl?

Let us experience the story through the main character's eyes a little more than you are right now.

You've got a good basic foundation--keep playing with it and you'll get there!

Hope that helped! Best of luck!
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#4 T. McLennan

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Posted 11 September 2017 - 01:52 PM

Thank you so much Happy Werewolf.  I guess I just didn't want to give all the endings away, but I guess that's for future readers not agents and editors.  I will add more information.  It's hard because I actually have 4 main characters with POV's.  The story is told by altering views with humans in one chapter and then Sasquatch in the next.  Challenging, but I think worth it.

 

Let me know if you want me to review anything of yours!

 

Teri



#5 kathleenq

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Posted 24 September 2017 - 10:30 PM

Hello! So in general, a good length to have a synopsis is 600-700 words, normally one page single spaced, one in margins, etc.

 

A good way to start a synopsis is just to list out all the events (minor and major) that you have in the book. This might take a few hours or days and be ten or more pages long, depending on how much detail you put in it. Mine was 8 pages and I just had a list of bullet points. Then, you can use those events to figure out what's absolutely vital for the reader to know in your synopsis, and while I understand you don't want to give away any twists or endings, you'll have to do so unless they're not necessary to explain the overall plot.

 

Your plot right now jumps from place to place, and I have a hard time following along with it. You need more detail with the plot points that you currently have, although that might change if you decide other plot points need to be added in.

 

For the different POV's, I would suggest trying to ignore the different POVs and purely go on what actually happens in the book. I think that'll make it more clear on what you need in the synopsis.

 

Hope this helps!


Synopsis: Glass Domes





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