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Please review my query

Thrillers/Suspense Commercial Fiction Literary Fiction

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#1 Caroline Gerardo

Caroline Gerardo

    Caroline Gerardo

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    and more

Posted 07 September 2017 - 03:32 PM

Dear Sir or Madam: 

 

 

 

The Great Drought 

 

 

 

Natalie buys a ranch in Wyoming to hide from her past. She's a Prepper semi-retired from MI5 service. Her career as an analytical spy hasn't ended,

only on hiatus after the death of her husband. 

 

The Drought stresses world population. Terrorists plan to poison what's left of clean water for the Western United States. Natalie must stop these Eco-terrorists or lose everything. 

 

This is novel one in a series of three. 

 

THE GREAT DROUGHT is a thriller of 99000 words.

 

I'm a member of International Thriller Writers and published author of The Lucky Boy, and Toxic Assets. 

Short stories and poetry published in numerous magazines.

 

https://twitter.com/carolinegerardo/

https://carolinegerardo.blogspot.com

 

 

Thank you for time and consideration,

 

C G



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#2 Ireth

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Posted 07 September 2017 - 03:44 PM

I seek representation for my current novel: The Great Drought 

 

Commercial Fiction, Thriller 

 

Natalie buys a ranch in Wyoming to hide from her past. She's a Prepper who retires from MI5 service. Terrorists plan to poison what's left of

clean water for the Western United States. Natalie must stop them. (This is nowhere near enough information. A query should be 200-250 words long.)

 

THE GREAT DROUGHT is a thriller of 99,000 words. I'm a member of International Thriller Writers and published author. (Give examples of your published work.)

 

Thank you for your time and consideration,

 

C G


There's too much blood in my tea system. Time to put the kettle on.

 

~~~

 

All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!

 

Queries:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/

 

Hooks:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/

 

Synopses:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/


#3 Jonas

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Posted 07 September 2017 - 03:54 PM

I agree with Ireth. I suggest go back and read some of the successful queries and try again. 



#4 Caroline Gerardo

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    Caroline Gerardo

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    Scapegoat Review,
    Sleet Magazine,
    Negativesucks Magazine,
    Narrative Magazine, Midwestern Gothic Magazine,
    and more

Posted 08 September 2017 - 02:07 PM

Thank you for you kind help. 

 

C G

 

Is it long enough now?



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Twitter handle: @ cgbarbeau

#5 jayperin

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 05:55 PM

Dear Sir or Madam: 

 

 

 

The Great Drought 

 

 

 

Natalie buys a ranch in Wyoming to hide from her past. She's a Prepper semi-retired from MI5 service. Her career as an analytical spy hasn't ended,

only on hiatus after the death of her husband. 

 

The Drought stresses world population. Terrorists plan to poison what's left of clean water for the Western United States. Natalie must stop these Eco-terrorists or lose everything. 

 

This is novel one in a series of three. 

 

THE GREAT DROUGHT is a thriller of 99000 words.

 

I'm a member of International Thriller Writers and published author of The Lucky Boy, and Toxic Assets. 

Short stories and poetry published in numerous magazines.

 

https://twitter.com/carolinegerardo/

https://carolinegerardo.blogspot.com

 

 

Thank you for time and consideration,

 

C G

 

Character - I would say start with the character. Natalie is a Prepper (I don't know what a Prepper is, and I suspect an agent might not, either, so you may want to elaborate) semi-retired from the MI5.

 

Setting - And Wyoming is not a place where you cannot be found if she is physically hiding. 

 

Plot - Give us some details about why she puts career on hiatus after hubster's death. Also, hiding from her past? Are these related? Is the ecoterrorism linked to her past?

 

The language - Sentences are too short. Makes the reader think your MS will be, as well. And why capitalize "Drought," "Western," and "Eco?"



#6 Springfield

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Posted 08 September 2017 - 08:14 PM

Dear Sir or Madam: 

 

 

 

The Great Drought 

 

 

 

Natalie buys a ranch in Wyoming to hide from her past. She's a Prepper semi-retired from MI5 service. Her career as an analytical spy hasn't ended,

only on hiatus after the death of her husband. You're missing words, and info. What's she hiding from? How does a British operative end up a Wyoming prepper?

 

The Drought What drought? Why is that capped? stresses world population. Again, missing words. Terrorists plan to poison what's left of clean water for the Western What's with the caps? United States. Natalie must stop these Eco-terrorists or lose everything. Again with the caps, and also... info -- I have no idea at all what's going on, what the MC is doing or why, what her stakes are, specifically, etc. This is far too short.

 

This is novel one in a series of three. Does this stand alone, with a conclusion not a cliffhanger?

 

THE GREAT DROUGHT is a thriller of 99000 words. 

 

I'm a member of International Thriller Writers and published author of The Lucky Boy, and Toxic Assets. Either dates and houses or say self.

Short stories and poetry published in numerous magazines.This is not a sentence.

 

https://twitter.com/carolinegerardo/

https://carolinegerardo.blogspot.com

 

 

Thank you for time and consideration,

 

C G

 

I'd suggest researching queries.







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