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Forgotten Dreams YA Fantasy

Young Adult Fiction Fantasy

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#1 Lunamae08

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Posted 13 September 2017 - 01:26 PM

          I would like to present you with my manuscript, Forgotten Dreams. I have tried to create something people can escape into, travelling with the characters you can relate to. Characters that have suffered through rough things, but slowly make their way back to happiness, even if they slip back into that painful past from time to time. Characters that learn to laugh again, realizing how important hope is, to keep their inner light strong and bright. Let me introduce you to Aleera.

 

            When seven-year-old Aleera was kidnapped from her world, her memory was stolen too.

            After nine years of captivity, Aleera finds her way home, hoping to remember her life on Eadrom. What she didn’t bargain for was a quirky Muddlewhomp informing her that there was more to who she is than she could’ve dreamt, more than she believes she could ever be.

            When Aleera travelled back to Eadrom she hadn’t realized she would be the catalyst many had hoped for, as well as triggering part of the Dark Army to be sent after her.  She doesn’t know what to do with the knowledge that she is one of seven Children of the Light and that somehow, she’s supposed to find the other magical teens stuck on Earth, in human form, to complete the connection of seven.

           There is no time to rest, when the lights of Eadrom’s inhabitants are blinking out at a rapid rate. If she has any hope of helping Eadrom, Aleera must find a way to believe in herself, even when it’s hard to see who she is meant to be through the eyes of a broken child.

          

        Forgotten dreams follows Aleera, Child of the Light for the Magic Weavers, who is trying to overcome an abusive childhood and get a handle on her powers before time runs out for her world. Forgotten Dreams is complete at 83819 words and is the first book in a series. Thank you for your time.



#2 Springfield

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Posted 13 September 2017 - 02:28 PM

          I would like to present you with my manuscript, Forgotten Dreams. I have tried to create something people can escape into, travelling with the characters you can relate to. Characters that have suffered through rough things, but slowly make their way back to happiness, even if they slip back into that painful past from time to time. Characters that learn to laugh again, realizing how important hope is, to keep their inner light strong and bright. Let me introduce you to Aleera.

 

            When seven-year-old Aleera was kidnapped from her world, her memory was stolen too.

            After nine years of captivity, Aleera finds her way home, hoping to remember her life on Eadrom. What she didn’t bargain for was a quirky Muddlewhomp informing her that there was more to who she is than she could’ve dreamt, more than she believes she could ever be. This is confusing and sounds super MG, but your MC is 16.

            When Aleera travelled back to Eadrom she hadn’t realized she would be the catalyst many had hoped for, as well as triggering part of the Dark Army to be sent after her.  She doesn’t know what to do with the knowledge that she is one of seven Children of the Light and that somehow, she’s supposed to find the other magical teens stuck on Earth, in human form, to complete the connection of seven.

           There is no time to rest, when the lights of Eadrom’s inhabitants are blinking out at a rapid rate. If she has any hope of helping Eadrom, Aleera must find a way to believe in herself, even when it’s hard to see who she is meant to be through the eyes of a broken child.

          

        Forgotten dreams follows Aleera, Child of the Light for the Magic Weavers, who is trying to overcome an abusive childhood and get a handle on her powers before time runs out for her world. Forgotten Dreams is complete at 83819 words and is the first book in a series. Thank you for your time.

 

You need to research queries, as well as edit this and, I'd wager, check your manuscript. This has a bunch of errors, notably tense shifts all over the place.

 

You need an MC, a problem and stakes. As you've got a super common setup -- elementals/chosen one -- thing going on, you also have to differentiate it from the 800 others of these the agent you're sending it to has seen this week.







Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Young Adult, Fiction, Fantasy

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