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Benders -- YA Sci-Fi

Young Adult Science Fiction

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#1 Constantine Singer

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Posted 13 September 2017 - 04:54 PM

Hi all and thanks in advance -- any feedback y'all have is a blessing.

 

 

When 17-year-old Sarah Goldmatsui starts seeing Benders, she thinks she’s crazy.   She’s the only one seeing massive machines crashing through reality, dissolving everything to black.  And when the world restarts after each event, she’s the only one who notices that things were different.  

 

Her doctor insists they’re migraines, the differences afterward: simple confusion.  But when Sarah meets Quentin Parsons at a party, she learns that the Benders aren’t just in her head.  Quentin sees them, too, and he knows the truth:

 

Sarah’s not just a typical teenager with a dysfunctional home-life, uninspiring boyfriend, and stunning intellect; she’s also a Beacon like Quentin -- alien technology designed to attract the universe-destroying Benders

 

Together, Sarah and Quentin must save the universe that they were designed to destroy while navigating their own lives in realities that are often very different than the lives they’re expecting. 

 

With every Bender event, hope for humanity dims and now that she’s met Quentin, Sarah has a reason to care more than ever about the future.  She’s just not sure there’s any way they can save herself, Quentin, and the universe at the same time.

 

BENDERS is YA Science Fiction and is complete at 83,000 words.



#2 Ireth

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Posted 13 September 2017 - 05:24 PM

Hi all and thanks in advance -- any feedback y'all have is a blessing.

 

 

When seventeen-year-old Sarah Goldmatsui starts seeing Benders, she thinks she’s crazy.   She’s the only one seeing massive machines crashing through reality, dissolving everything to black.  And when the world restarts after each event, she’s the only one who notices that things were different.  

 

Her doctor insists they’re migraines, the differences afterward(no colon needed) simple confusion.  But when Sarah meets Quentin Parsons at a party, she learns that the Benders aren’t just in her head.  Quentin sees them(no comma here) too, and he knows the truth:

 

Sarah’s not just a typical teenager with a dysfunctional home-life, uninspiring boyfriend, and stunning intellect (seems a tad egotistical for her to describe herself like that); she’s also a Beacon (I don't think you ​need to italicize that) like Quentin -- alien technology designed to attract the universe-destroying Benders

 

 

Together, Sarah and Quentin must save the universe that they were designed to destroy while navigating their own lives in realities that are often very different than the lives they’re expecting

 

With every Bender event, hope for humanity dims and now that she’s met Quentin, Sarah has more reason than ever to care about the future.  She’s just not sure there’s any way they can save herself, Quentin, and the universe at the same time.

 

BENDERS is YA Science Fiction(comma) and is complete at 83,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.


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All projects except WINTER'S QUEEN are currently on hiatus until further notice. Thank you!

 

Queries:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...e-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...orical-fantasy/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...sea-ya-fantasy/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing On Edges: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Bellringer: http://agentquerycon...ringer-fantasy/

 

Hooks:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...tasy-hook-help/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...k-epic-fantasy/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

Moonhunter: http://agentquerycon...ya-xenofiction/

Song of the Sea: http://agentquerycon...ong-of-the-sea/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/

Dancing on Edges: http://agentquerycon...asy-query-hook/

 

Synopses:

Winter's Queen: http://agentquerycon...een-ya-fantasy/

Tenth Realm: http://agentquerycon...ntasy-synopsis/

Low Road: http://agentquerycon...fantasyvampire/

My Soul to Keep: http://agentquerycon...porary-fantasy/


#3 galaxyspinner

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Posted 14 September 2017 - 03:44 PM

I'm wondering if your title might be doing you a disservice; firstly, it's a crude word in England. Secondly, in the realm of YA fantasy, it's still a word that very much belongs to an existing franchise.


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#4 Constantine Singer

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Posted 14 September 2017 - 03:50 PM

GalaxySpinner, those are really good points.  

 

New Title:  The Hopeful Branch

 

New Title:  Beacon

 

New Title:  The Universe Enders

 

I'll keep working on it. THanks!



#5 jaustail

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Posted 17 September 2017 - 09:20 AM

JMO:

 

 

When 17-year-old Sarah Goldmatsui starts seeing Benders, she thinks she’s crazy.   She’s the only one seeing massive machines crashing through reality, dissolving everything to black(what is 'everything'? like buildings or something?).  And when the world restarts(does the world stop during event? like time freeze?) after each event, she’s the only one who notices that things were different.  

 

Her doctor insists they’re migraines, the differences afterward: simple confusion.  But when Sarah meets Quentin Parsons at a party, she learns that the Benders aren’t just in her head.  Quentin sees them, too, and he knows the truth:

 

Sarah’s not just a typical teenager with a dysfunctional home-life, uninspiring boyfriend, and stunning intellect; she’s also a Beacon like Quentin -- alien technology designed to attract the universe-destroying Benders

 

Together, Sarah and Quentin must save the universe(how will they save? do they have some powers or something?) that they were designed to destroy while navigating their own lives in realities that are often very different than the lives they’re expecting. 

 

With every Bender event, hope for humanity dims and now that she’s met Quentin, Sarah has a reason to care more than ever about the future.  She’s just not sure there’s any way they can save herself, Quentin, and the universe at the same time.

 

BENDERS is YA Science Fiction and is complete at 83,000 words.

 

 

I think this lacks details. Right now it's too bland. Maybe give a visual of the machines. Are they like giant tanks or robots that look like Iron Man? How will Sarah fight them?


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