Captain Greenwood, of the star ship Euros, has finally found what he has been looking for. I like this line.
Hidden on the obscure world of EVERGREEN, cool name! a cold and icy colony that suffers extended winters, he finds the last Ark Vault. Inside is an ancient American artifact which could change the course of the universe forever. How, though? But he has no time to celebrate, as agents of the dreaded Alliance attack, forcing him to lock the vault before fleeing.
On the run, Captain Greenwood hides his children, eight year old CORA and five year old SAM on his home world of Columbia. He doesn’t tell them they are the key to opening the Vault before he leaves swearing to return but never does. Why doesn't he come back? Is he killed?
Cora grows up believing her father was nothing more than a worthless space pirate who abandoned them when he was
board bored of parenting, never realizing the danger they had been in. Why were they in danger? This is never fully explained. Which is why ten years later, Cora has no reason to believe that an academic trip to Earth that she and her brother are invited on, is anything more than a boring archaeological visit to a burnt out old world.
However, the trip lead by DR. SCHAFER, a renowned historian who takes a liking to Sam and Cora, is mysteriously diverted and their transport ship ends up in the Evergreen solar system with a pirate ship waiting to board them. Cora leads an escape from the pirate which forces them to crash land on an Evergreen mountain side. As they descend, memory floods over Cora, she has seen this world before as an eight year old on her father’s ship.
During their first cold night on the mountain side, Cora catches AARON, an Evergreen native, sneaking around their ship and confronts him alone. She pleads with him to help them but he is reluctant. Evergreen is a divided world, he tells her. Something called the Ark Vault caused the division years ago pitting the East of Evergreen against the West. They have landed in the East but Aaron is from the West. If he is found trespassing in these lands he could be killed. Still, he is drawn to her so agrees to help but makes Cora promise not to reveal to anyone that she has seen him.
From the shadows, Aaron leads Cora and the group to the village of Three Oaks where they are greeted with open arms by villagers who rarely see visitors from their own world let alone outer space.
Soon, the leader of the Eastern armies, the GUARDIAN, arrives to escort Cora and her group to their capitol. Aaron readies his escape, fearing the Guardian would recognize him and discover he had been spying on the village. Suspicious of Aaron, Cora confronts him about his reasons for trespassing in Three Oaks, which forces Aaron to question his own motives before slipping away.
The Guardian tells Cora
he is troubled by the restlessness brewing in the West. There of rumors that the key to the Ark Vault has returned to Evergreen, (I'm starting to realise that you don't like commas, so I put one in for you. You're welcome.) which is stirring the blood of the land. The Vault, long thought closed forever, could be opened again if the rumors be true. I also don't understand this line. Do you mean it can be opened again, or it is opened again after their father closed it? I don't get it.
Meanwhile, Aaron returns to the West to find that MAXIMUS,
the powerful but cruel commander of the Western armies, has seized control by slaying their leader. Maximus wants to break years of peace and war against the East planning a surprise attack on Three Oaks using the intelligence Aaron had gathered. Aided by the pirate ship in orbit around Evergreen, Maximus knows that Cora and her brother are the keys to opening the Vault. Aaron is forced to march with them but can’t stop thinking about what will happen to Cora when their forces overrun the village.
The Western army arrives in Three Oaks
in the midst of a snow storm slashing and burning as they go. The fighting forces Cora to lead her group out into the blizzard but they are found by Maximus’s forces, elite warriors who are part of Aaron’s order. Aaron arrives and turns on his brothers fighting them off but not before they kill Dr. Schafer.
Meanwhile, the Guardian confronts Maximus and after a tense battle, forces Maximus to retreat. Angry at his loss and at Aaron who betrayed them, he vows to return for the Guardian’s blood.
Angry, Cora blames Aaron for all that has befallen them, but still she is drawn to him. They kiss once before the Guardian interrupts them and forces Aaron to flee into the mountains.
The Guardian attempts to console Cora and her group over the death of Dr. Schafer. But it is little solace for Cora because before he died, Dr. Schafer tells her that they are stranded on Evergreen because of him. He had known their father and was tricked by the Alliance into luring them out of hiding. I don't understand this line. Cora knows now that the conflict on Evergreen is directly tied to her father and to her. If Cora is to survive, she must unravel the mystery and discover the secrets of the Vault before Evergreen tears itself apart in civil war. ????????
So, I'm assuming this is the first novel in a series?
One thing: You need to watch your commas. Or lack of them. Re-read through the synopses, you're missing some much needed commas.
Another thing: I know how much it sucks, but there is still a lot in here that you just don't need. Scrap whatever sentence is in-needed. I took the liberty and scrapped a few for you.
Also, I absolutely do not understand what is happening with the Ark Vault. Like at all. You will need to explain it, because I was confused. Cora is the key to opening it, I think. But: What is it? Why is she the key to opening it? What happens if she opens it? Is it already open, as hinted already? Oh god am so confused.
Other than the Ark Vault, I get the story, and it's cool! I like the idea, and would consider buying the book. Just explain the Ark Vault a bit better :)