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#1 gspiel

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Posted 09 October 2017 - 09:58 AM

Hi all,

I am looking to develop a hook for my first novel. Please let me know what you think!

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While her own personal life is hanging by a thread, psychologist Holly Murdock develops a dangerous obsession with a new patient that threatens to unravel them both.

 



#2 giffordmac

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Posted 09 October 2017 - 11:24 PM

I'm not sure the first phrase is telling me anything. Why is her personal life hanging by a thread?

 

The hook also seems like it might apply to a lot of novels. I'd want to know what's special about your character and what she stands to lose (aside from her license, which is obvious to me). I'd recommend concentrating on what's different and special about your character and your novel -- I'm sure it's not just another story of obsession, but I want to know how it's unique.

 

Best of luck!


“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” ― Elie Wiesel

 

~~~

 

 

 

 


#3 gspiel

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Posted 10 October 2017 - 06:33 AM

I'm not sure the first phrase is telling me anything. Why is her personal life hanging by a thread?

 

The hook also seems like it might apply to a lot of novels. I'd want to know what's special about your character and what she stands to lose (aside from her license, which is obvious to me). I'd recommend concentrating on what's different and special about your character and your novel -- I'm sure it's not just another story of obsession, but I want to know how it's unique.

 

Best of luck!

 

Thanks! That was very helpful!



#4 gspiel

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Posted 15 October 2017 - 03:20 PM

How about this:

 

 

Holly Murdock is a lot of things: psychologist, terrible friend, cat lover. But when an intriguing new patient enters her practice, she adds another title to the list: stalker.



#5 noellbernard

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 03:38 PM

Holly Murdock is many a lot of things: psychologist, terrible friend, cat lover. But when an intriguing new patient enters her practice, she adds another title to the list: stalker.

 

This sounds interesting as it is. I'm guessing it's a thriller novel?

 

I would almost cut out 'intriguing' because it's a vague descriptor that adds nothing to this. If you can offer a better descriptor to really pull in interest to the new patient and why Holly might be stalking her, I'd suggest that. Try to be as descriptive as possible and use specific adjectives. :)


Any advice you're willing to offer on my query would be greatly appreciated: Thread Here! Thank you!

 

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